Collection of Lame Jokes

[mfb]

I know this joke with physicists and engineers, and it comes with an extra line:

What do we learn from this? Engineers apply the methods of physics without understanding them.

 

[fresh_42]

I know this joke with physicists and engineers, and it comes with an extra line:

What do we learn from this? Engineers apply the methods of physics without understanding them.

Me with mathematicians and economist, including the extra line.

 

[nuuskur]

This might get me banned, but here goes..

Spoiler: Proceed with caution!

Spoiler: Are you totally sure?

$\sin x=x$

 

[fresh_42]

"Uuh, those are fluffy little puppies, what's that breed?"
"Strawberry. About 11 weeks old."

 

[Mark44]

"Uuh, those are fluffy little puppies, what's that breed?"
"Strawberry. About 11 weeks old."

Anybody else not get this?

 

[fresh_42]

Anybody else not get this?

 

[Mark44]

Makes more sense if you include the picture...

 

[BillTre]

For Today Only:

 

[mfb]

Anybody else not get this?

No one wants to get strawberries that old.

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

Dewey, Cheatham & Howe, of course, provides more general legal services. Their website: http://www.dewey-cheatham-howe.com/

 

[mfb]

I would be careful with these - they might be lawyers just because their names give them clients, not because they are actually good.

 

[DennisN]

I'm thinking about using a cloud storage service, but I am a bit hesitant regarding the stability of those.
Do they work on sunny days?

 

[davenn]

I'm thinking about using a cloud storage service, but I am a bit hesitant regarding the stability of those.
Do they work on sunny days?

speaking of cloud storage ...

 

[jtbell]

I'm thinking about using a cloud storage service, but I am a bit hesitant regarding the stability of those.
Do they work on sunny days?

No problem. The Internet is world-wide. If it's sunny where you are, your data is automatically routed to someplace cloudy before being sent upwards.

 

[Mark44]

Dewey, Cheatham & Howe, of course, provides more general legal services. Their website: http://www.dewey-cheatham-howe.com/

I would be careful with these - they might be lawyers just because their names give them clients, not because they are actually good.

I'm fairly sure the website above is fake. The links on that page (at least the couple I checked) generate 404 errors.
For our non-US readers, the bogus law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe was dreamed up by the hosts of NPR's Car Talk radio show, Tom and Ray Magliozzi, AKA "Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers."

Another made-up name they used often was that of a purported high school English teacher, I. M. Shirley Wright.

 

[Vanadium 50]

I'm fairly sure the website above is fake.

Oh, the website is real all right. It's the firm that's fake.

 

[Ibix]

I'm fairly sure the website above is fake.

I was assuming @mfb was playing straight man. The website is definitely a spoof, even without your knowledge of the joke's origins. The phone number isn't particularly plausible to start with, and "we endeavor, both for our clients and ourselves, to acquire the property of others through the legal process and all other appropriate means" seems like a fairly obvious caricature of an amoral law firm.

 

[Vanadium 50]

fairly obvious caricature of an amoral law firm.

"My dad's a barber."
"Really? My dad's a lawyer."
"Honest?"
"No, just the regular kind."

 

[mjc123]

For our non-US readers, the bogus law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe was dreamed up by the hosts of NPR's Car Talk radio show, Tom and Ray Magliozzi, AKA "Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers."

Related to the apocryphal English law firm Sue, Grabbitt & Runne?

 

[fresh_42]

My diet has failed. I will now focus on growing taller.

 

[WWGD]

I don't get why anyone wants to store clouds, but anyway. A specialist is someone who knows more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.

 

[WWGD]

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

 

[BillTre]

I don't get why anyone wants to store clouds, but anyway. A specialist is someone who knows more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.

Efficiency Tip:
If you were to compress the cloud into a more dense state, like a liquid, it could more efficiently be stored.

 

[jack action]

Efficiency Tip:
If you were to compress the cloud into a more dense state, like a liquid, it could more efficiently be stored.

Normally, compressing it into a solid would be more dense, but since clouds are made of water, this is not the case.

Therefore I vote to use another material to make the cloud more efficient, one that the solid state is more dense than the liquid state, and since we can select any material other than water, let's take the densest (stable) one: Osmium.

Assuming an actual cloud has a density of 0.5 g/m³, this would reduce the space needed by a factor of 45 millions!

 

[fresh_42]

Osmium

isn't save to hacker attacks by osmosis.

 

[mfb]

Iridium storage then, 22.56 g/cm³

Wait, are we back to the sky now?

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[gmax137]

For our non-US readers, the bogus law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe was dreamed up by the hosts of NPR's Car Talk radio show, Tom and Ray Magliozzi, AKA "Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers."

I heard it first on old Three Stooges shorts.

 

[WWGD]

United Nations office in Bangkok is so formal it won't let you in without a Thai.

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

When Cobain was younger, people said he was a little curt.

 

[fresh_42]

The sign says: "Please don't park too close to the driver's side. I am rather fat."