Collection of Lame Jokes

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 240563​

The data protection question is: how does the vet know one of the women has haemorrhoids?

 

[Wrichik Basu]

Changing from typewriters to computers was not easy.

 

[jack action]

The data protection question is: how does the vet know one of the women has haemorrhoids?

I didn't notice the animals, I just imagined it was a doctor's waiting room. That changes everything: Hemorrhoids might be a dog's name. Well that's less funny then.

 

[Klystron]

..., and "de-cimate" mis-use by the press, for annihilate, is one I absolutely abhor , thank you for pointing that out to me one last time.

Strongly agree. At the risk of reiterating the obvious: from Latin the verb 'decimate' = deci (tenth) + mate (murder, kill). Decimate means 'kill every tenth person in a cohort'; intended as punishment, to remind the survivors to obey.

As used in a contemporary movie, the bad guys capture an entire village. The order comes down "Decimate them". Bad guys murder everyone. Baddest guy says, "That'll teach 'em." Teach who / whom? They are all dead.

OK return to humor, now .

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Bandersnatch]

from Latin the verb 'decimate' = deci (tenth) + mate (murder, kill).

You'd have to show me how you got to this etymology, 'cause it looks mighty kooky.

 

[Bystander]

You'd have to show me how you got to this etymology,

https://www.google.com/search?q=dec...rome..69i57.7574j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

 

[fresh_42]

You'd have to show me how you got to this etymology, 'cause it looks mighty kooky.

decimate (v.)
c. 1600, "to select by lot and put to death every tenth man," from Latin decimatus, past participle of decimare "the removal or destruction of one-tenth," from decem "ten" (from PIE root *dekm- "ten").

The killing of one in ten, chosen by lots, from a rebellious city or a mutinous army was a punishment sometimes used by the Romans. The word has been used (loosely and unetymologically, to the irritation of pedants) since 1660s for "destroy a large but indefinite number of." Related: Decimated; decimating.

https://www.etymonline.com/word/decimate#etymonline_v_29331

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

hahaha

 

[Bandersnatch]

@Bystander @fresh_42 I know. But that is not the 'this etymology' I was referring to, as you can readily see by comparing your own links to what @Klystron posted. I don't feel too comfortable with my Latin, since it's been a while since I took it (and only a semester), so I'd be happy to learn that there is a 'mate' verb that means 'kill, murder', or that the word 'deci' means 'tenth' (as opposed to e.g. 'decimus').

 

[fresh_42]

decimatus, past participle of decimare

Latin decimare = punish every tenth man (with death), to: decimus = the tenth

My Latin dictionary: https://en.pons.com/translate/latin-german/decimare

• decies
• Decima
• decimana
• decimanus
• decimare

decimo - the tenth man

Google translates "smashed" which is very unfortunate.

 

[Klystron]

You'd have to show me how you got to this etymology, 'cause it looks mighty kooky.

Well, this thread is a collection of lame jokes. What is etymology of "kooky"? From the mating calls of the Kookaburra ?

My second year college Latin and Spanish teacher, Father Juan, taught that the first part of the etymology derived from Latin term for tenth decimus; the second derived from the same Latin root as the Spanish word matar, to kill. Likely not standard school book Latin but typical of the working language used by Roman troops stationed in Western Europe before ~550 C.E.

Now I am curious if Romans actually used the word decimate in Latin form. Educated Latin writers usually avoided soldierly slang unless they were being funny or writing plays AFAIK. The elision seems to indicate early Spanish/French word migration to late-middle English, as some dictionaries suggest; supporting Fra Juan's thesis.

[edit: Posted before reading @fresh_42 latest. Thanks.]

 

[Bandersnatch]

Spoiler: linguistics; offtopic

Right. Here's why it looks to me like folk etymology, though: the root decimus + verb ending already accounts for all the sounds in decimare apart from /a/, while macto requires additionally invoking elision for /k/ and /t/ (that /t/ appears again in past participle ending is irrelevant). One would think the compound nature would be reflected in the word e.g. as decimmactare or some such frankenword. So that there exists a verb that partially maps to the second half of the past participle form of decimare and means 'to kill/to punish' might just be a coincidence.
In the end, none of the few dictionaries I looked up mention this second root word, not even etymonline - and they're always very thorough, going right to the PIE roots where possible, as well as being keen to point out ambiguity and hypotheses. While I have no reason to mistrust the power of Padre Juan's Latin-fu, it's still just anecdotal evidence.

But here's a lame joke to stay on topic:

 

[Wrichik Basu]

But here's a lame joke to stay on topic:
View attachment 240601

Already posted before in this thread, by davenn I believe.

 

[Bandersnatch]

Damn. I should have run it through anti-plagiarism software before submitting for publication.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

Spoiler: for those that are not Aussies or Kiwis

 

[jack action]

for those that are not Aussies or Kiwis

You don't have to be an Aussie or Kiwi to know who Men at Work are and what their legacy is, they conquer us all up North as well. You just need to be over 45 or so to remember it.

 

[fresh_42]

You don't have to be an Aussie or Kiwi to know who Men at Work are and what their legacy is, they conquer us all up North as well. You just need to be over 45 or so to remember it.

... and they won't stay downunder ...

 

[davenn]

... and they won't stay downunder ...

what can I say ... Us Kiwis and Aussies just love to travel

 

[jtbell]

Did you ever wonder who got all those leprechauns hooked on smoking meerschaum pipes?

Nick O'Tine

 

[Ibix]

Did you ever wonder who got all those leprechauns hooked on smoking meerschaum pipes?

Nick O'Tine

But they can now get free advice and support to quit from the National Elf Service.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DrGreg]

Sorry, I don't get this joke.

 

[DrClaude]

View attachment 240941
Sorry, I don't get this joke.

That's not the joke. @fresh_42 posted a link to Facebook which your browser is not displaying.