Collection of Lame Jokes

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

"Where do condiments go for medical attention?"

The Mayo Clinic"

 

[davenn]

I went to the doctor's this morning, I told him my joints are stiff.

He told me I was rolling them too tight.

 

[DrClaude]

I went to the doctor's this morning, I told him my joints are stiff.

He told me I was rolling them too tight.

Did he reefer you to a specialist?

 

[Borg]

The pot thickens...

 

[256bits]

there was a fly in my soup.
The place charged me for extra meat.

 

[fresh_42]

"Waiter! I can't eat this! Waiter!"
"Sir! Is there something wrong with the soup?"
"I can't eat it!"
"Is it too hot?"
"No, I have no spoon."

 

[Steelwolf]

Translation of a portion of Fragments of a scroll from the Roman Senate Curia with 'subject of the day' circa CE 325:

The Roman Association for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has determined that the feeding of Christians to Lions is depriving the Lions of a healthy and balanced diet.

 

[jtbell]

Translation of a portion of Fragments of a scroll from the Roman Senate Curia with 'subject of the day' circa CE 325:

The Roman Association for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has determined that the feeding of Christians to Lions is depriving the Lions of a healthy and balanced diet.

In a similar vein, from last year:
https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/collection-of-lame-jokes.25301/page-226#post-5977535(Hmmm, the snippet that the forum software is showing is not from the post that I linked to... it's probably from the first post on that page.)

 

[fresh_42]

(Hmmm, the snippet that the forum software is showing is not from the post that I linked to... it's probably from the first post on that page.)

Yes, that's a known inconvenience. And, yes, this (Romans and Christians) was not funny at all. At best it illustrates how time and location dependent ethical values are.

 

[jtbell]

I hear ABC World News Tonight anchor Tom Llamas is getting a co-anchor named Al Paca.

 

[Steelwolf]

I hear ABC World News Tonight anchor Tom Llamas is getting a co-anchor named Al Paca.

Well, Al Paca 'nother one in celebration

 

[fresh_42]

I'm a philanthropist. I love humulus. Never give up hop!

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

I don't believe it.

I just won 'Skeptic of the Year'!

 

[Ophiolite]

I had to explain to my local sea food restaurant that carpe diem doesn't mean Fish of the Day.

 

[fresh_42]

I had to explain to my local sea food restaurant that carpe diem doesn't mean Fish of the Day.

Well, it could mean fish of the day. Who knows there is a tomorrow afterwards?

 

[Steelwolf]

Funny, I always thought Carpe Diem to be the ration limit of one goldfish a day, that or a fish-god, one can be very confused.

 

[Wrichik Basu]

View attachment 241487

Those can work if you plan like in Home Alone...

 

[davenn]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

View attachment 241613

Somewhat on the same lines:

 

[davenn]

 

[jtbell]

He already tried it, bach in 1968:

It was one of the first albums I bought when I was in high school.

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

The Kingdom of Jordan has a shortage of quality razors.

Gillette is the best Amman can get.

 

[WWGD]

My Python is not working. Again. I keep calling the ISupper()* method and no dinner in sight .

* I Supper

 

[davenn]

 

[jack action]

Something for everyone, even those who are not hungry!