Collection of Lame Jokes

[phinds]

 

[jack action]

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 281815

Well that one's definitely wrong - it was Mark Twain who said that.

 

[fresh_42]

Well that one's definitely wrong - it was Mark Twain who said that.

Not cynical enough.

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 281830​

We have basically the same joke here. Maybe a bit more political.

1960 - secondary school
A farmer sells a sack of potatoes for 50.00 €. The production costs are 40.00 €. Calculate the profit.

1970 - secondary school
A farmer sells a sack of potatoes for 50.00 €. The production costs are four-fifths of the revenue. What is the farmer's profit?

1980 - high school
An agricultural economist sells a lot of subterranean crops for a lot of money "G", G has the size 50. For elements "g" from G, g is 1 €. The set of manufacturing costs "H" is ten elements less powerful than the set "G".

Draw the picture of the set H as a subset of the set G and give the solution set "L" for the question: How powerful is the profit set?

1985 - Free Waldorf School
Draw a sack of potatoes and sing a song to it.

1990 - Integrated comprehensive school
A farmer sells a sack of potatoes for 50 €. The production costs are 40 €, the profit is 10 €.

Task: Underline the word profit and discuss it with your neighbor.

1995 - Autonomous adventure school
A farmer sells organic potatoes at the organic market. Pick up a potato. How does it feel? How does it smell? Scrape off some earth, rub it between your fingers. Inhale the scent deeply. Close your eyes and put yourself in the potato's shoes. You are earth. Feel the moisture, the darkness ... Come back now, open your eyes.

1999 - Multicultural Comprehensive School
A farmer sells a sack of potatoes for € 20, - His production costs, including taxes, are € 25, - He then rents his farm to the state as a home for asylum seekers for € 80,000 per year and since he is now unemployed, he still receives per month € 2,000 unemployment benefits Question: Who is mucking out the stable now?

2000 - school after educational reform
a capitalist-privileged farmer enriches himself by 10 € on a sack of potatoes. Examine the text on condent fields, correct the proplem and demonstrate the sollusion.

2015 - Integrated comprehensive school
A farmer sells a sack of potatoes for 50.00. The production costs are 40, -. The profit is 10, -. Underline the word "potatoes" and discuss it with your 15 classmates from other cultures. Guns are not allowed.

2020 - Before-School
Sorrie, their is no potatoes! Only frys at mc donels.

 

[mjc123]

They had euros in 1960?

 

[fresh_42]

They had euros in 1960?

I could have left the DM, but I didn't want to discuss currencies. Especially as € have been introduced (1999) three years before people actually have had the coins and bills (2002). So which currency should I have used for the years 1999 and 2000 in the joke?

Since the currency was changed by a constant factor, it is for an audience of mostly physicists only a change of units.

And ...

... there is an even more severe mistake than the currency units! Who finds it? And no, the misspellings are intended.

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[jtbell]

Elon Musk: Would you buy a used spaceship from this man?

 

[BillTre]

Depends on the market for resale.

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[phinds]

 

[jtbell]

You may have heard of the New Jersey deli that was recently listed on the OTC stock exchange with a valuation of more than $100 million. Well, now it's been delisted for violating the exchange's rules.

New Jersey deli valued at more than $100 million delisted from stock market (NY Post)

I've heard that they're now working on a new venture: a cryptocurrency named baloneycoin.

 

[BillTre]

 

[mfb]

@phinds is a liar!

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

I was kidnapped by a bunch of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.

 

[phinds]

I was kidnapped by a bunch of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.

Well, as long as they didn't make you listen to rap music.

 

[etotheipi]

 

[jtbell]

I see the Academy Awards last night were held at Los Angeles Union Station. I wonder where the trains went in the meantime... to Anaheim, Azusa or Cucamonga?

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jtbell]

I was kidnapped by a bunch of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.

Well, as long as they didn't make you listen to rap music.

Or look at a lot of mime memes.

 

[phinds]

Or look at a lot of mime memes.

Nah, the horror of that is nothing compared to rap music

 

[WWGD]

Or look at a lot of mime memes.

Mi meams or your meams? In the end, what does it meam?

 

[jack action]

 

[Keith_McClary]

View attachment 282076​

I can't read the safety warning.

 

[jack action]

I can't read the safety warning.

Me neither. Maybe you can ask https://www.carguygarage.com/accessories/parking-aids/strapless-bluetooth-seatbelt-77931.

 

[gmax137]

Mi meams or your meams? In the end, what does it meam?

The stars are matter, we're matter, but it doesn't matter.

 

[WWGD]

Aging is an issue of mind over matter: If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

 

[pinball1970]

Or look at a lot of mime memes.

Too involved.
Even on here!

 

[Keith_McClary]

Me neither. Maybe you can ask https://www.carguygarage.com/accessories/parking-aids/strapless-bluetooth-seatbelt-77931.

"DO NOT USE this product when passengers are sitting in car seat" ?

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]