Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

 

[jtbell]

Q: Why should you never date tennis players?

A: Love means nothing to them.

 

[davenn]

 

[jack action]

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

 

[Steelwolf]

@jack action "So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet."

And apparently the first to see and use Firefox, although it seems to have spread from Fox to Bush.

 

[fresh_42]

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

 

[davenn]

Spoiler: AKA

Kenny Rogers song

 

[WWGD]

A buzzard tried to board the airplane with two dead raccoons...
The flight attendant said "only one carrion per passenger"

Carrion my wayward son! Yes, for nitpickers, the actual title is Carrion wayward son.

 

[davenn]

Carrion my wayward son! Yes, for nitpickers, the actual title is Carrion wayward son.

I have no idea what ... ?

 

[fresh_42]

I have no idea what ... ?

Click your heels together three times!

 

[davenn]

Click your heels together three times!

? ... that was from "The Wizard of Oz" wasn't it ?

still not sure how it relates to buzzards on a plane ?

 

[fresh_42]

? ... that was from "The Wizard of Oz" wasn't it ?

still not sure how it relates to buzzards on a plane ?

OZ →
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5ZJui3aPoQ
→ Carrion my wayward son!
→ one carrion per passenger
→ racoon
→ buzzard

 

[WWGD]

I have no idea what ... ?

A song they play almost hourly in any radio station: Carry on Wayward Son, by Kansas.

 

[davenn]

A song they play almost hourly in any radio station: Carry on Wayward Son, by Kansas.

never heard of it

 

[WWGD]

never heard of it

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=carry+on+wayward+son+youtube&t=h_&ia=videos , just in case you want to check it out.

 

[WWGD]

Hope the hair avalanche...er, the lead singer, did not scare anyone.
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=carry+on+wayward+son+youtube&t=h_&ia=videos ,

 

[256bits]

The disgruntled buzzard, next flight, brought along only chicken.

 

[danachiraq]

LOL..interesting jokes, great jobs

 

[fresh_42]

The disgruntled buzzard, next flight, brought along only chicken.

This was dumb. If he had brought sparrows instead, he could have let them fly in the cabin and avoid the extra fee for the weight of his baggage.

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

Not a lame joke, but apropos of the apes, an allegedly true story. Armstrong, Aldrin, and Collins were put into a decompression (or decontamination maybe?) chamber on the carrier that picked up Apollo 11 (USS Wasp, from memory). Nixon flew out for a photo op. A wide, but not tall, window had thoughtfully been provided in the chamber at a convenient height for seated people to talk. Unfortunately, he's the president and they're US military - so they stood up and saluted. Then sat down again, apparently all desperately worried that they'd somehow forgotten to zip their flies...

 

[fresh_42]

My windows won an Academy Award last year in the category: Best Dirt Film.

 

[WWGD]

I was asked here: How do you motivate the geodesic equation?
Common, geodesic equation, you can do it, I believe in you!

 

[strangerep]

How do you motivate the geodesic equation?

It's a lost cause -- geodesics can't accelerate.

 

[fresh_42]

It's a lost cause -- geodesics can't accelerate.

Yeah, they always take the shortest route for lazybones.

 

[DrGreg]

Yeah, they always take the shortest route for lazybones.

Well. I've always been impressed by geodesics. They always go flat out, get straight to the point and never wobble.

 

[fresh_42]

They always go flat out, get straight to the point and never wobble.

The actual miracle is: How do they know?

 

[Ibix]

The actual miracle is: How do they know?

It's straightforward.

 

[WWGD]

Wow, you're a scientist? That's complicated. Can you explain what you do to your mom?
I don't do ANYTHING to my mom!