Collection of Lame Jokes

[Ibix]

(But I think the common notation has the dagger on the raising operator)

So it's a conventional dagger, like conventional current?

 

[jtbell]

Watch your head!

 

[Ibix]

Watch your head!

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/576038608571034263/

 

[DifferentialGalois]

By far the most generic:
Why the chicken cross the Klein bottle?
To get to the same side

 

[BillTre]

Which car do you like?

 

[jack action]

Which car do you like?

View attachment 249583

I have a thing for a Ford Falcon:

​

Or even better, a Ford Galaxie:

 

[davenn]

I swallowed a dictionary.

It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had.

 

[mfb]

An unidentified thief from within our company stole the thesaurus from our library. We are taken aback, stunned, stupefied, confused, flabbergasted and bewildered how someone could do this.

 

[davenn]

Elevator music
bothers me
on so many
levels

 

[Borg]

A farmer, desperately in need of rain for his crops had been looking forward to a predicted storm. However, when the storm was supposed to arrive, there was nothing more than fog. The farmer yelled at the cloud, "You were supposed to be rain! Didn't you get the memo?" The fog replied back, "Mist that".

 

[mfb]

The farmer should have performed a rain dance. They are surprisingly effective: A 100% success rate! And they are so easy to do as well. You dance until it rains.

 

[Ibix]

The farmer should have performed a rain dance. They are surprisingly effective: A 100% success rate! And they are so easy to do as well. You dance until it rains.

It's like my elephant-repellant powder that I scatter around the house every day. No elephant comes near the place.

 

[fresh_42]

The farmer should have performed a rain dance. They are surprisingly effective: A 100% success rate! And they are so easy to do as well. You dance until it rains.

It might exceed lifetime to achieve 100%: Atacama.

 

[Ibix]

It might exceed lifetime to achieve 100%: Atacama.

Maybe the Atacama is dry because of all the people doing rain dances everywhere else pulling the rain away. I mean, the vast majority of humans live where there's reasonably ready access to water. That can't be a coincidence.

 

[256bits]

The farmer should have performed a rain dance. They are surprisingly effective: A 100% success rate! And they are so easy to do as well. You dance until it rains.

Just waiting and waiting for a reason to play this song.
https://www.bing.com/search?q=rain+...-20&sk=&cvid=EC1778A08ECD4D8B81B41F9F38E00728

 

[mfb]

It might exceed lifetime to achieve 100%: Atacama.

How do we know someone tried long enough? I haven't heard of anyone reporting how they died trying.

 

[fresh_42]

How do we know someone tried long enough? I haven't heard of anyone reporting how they died trying.

Do not reverse the burden of proof! I only mentioned evidence that your statement might fail, regardless whether one has tried or not. This develops into one of our QM threads: does the photon choose a slit if not observed?

 

[nuuskur]

God plays dice to decide the photon's fate. Sorry, Einstein!
Corollary: god must be omnipotent.

 

[jim mcnamara]

Bozone ( n.): An air layer surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

 

[Klystron]

Bozone ( n.): An air layer surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

"I think we are all bozos on this bus...". From The Firesign Theatre.

 

[jtbell]

This might have something to do with the intermediate vector bozo, a.k.a. moron.

 

[mfb]

Bozone ( n.): An air layer surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

It has been observed that multiple bozones can overlap, creating a Bozo condensate at low intellectual energy.

 

[Mark44]

Which side of a duck has the most feathers?

Spoiler

The outside

 

[Mark44]

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes.
By that time, you'll be a mile away, and you have his shoes, so you can say anything you want about him...

 

[Ibix]

Which side of a duck has the most feathers?

The down side.

 

[Klystron]

Which side of a duck has the most feathers?

Spoiler

The outside

Yes, but the delectable Möbius-Klein duck only contains one side.

!kcauq

 

[Ibix]

Yes, but the delectable Möbius-Klein duck only contains one side.
View attachment 249819
!kcauq

The Möbius-Klein duck's favourite song is a version of Dem Bones:

Head bone's connected to the tailbone...

 

[davenn]

My pirate friend's rather obese parrot sadly died recently.
I asked how he was feeling.
"Arrrr, it's a huge weight off my shoulders."

 

[Auto-Didact]

 

[davenn]