Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #6,271
jack action said:
C:\ ... It figures: another Microsoft product.
In my case it's usually found on a different drive - I:\APOLOGIZE
 
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  • #6,272
Borg said:
In my case it's usually found on a different drive - I:\APOLOGIZE
You have to be very careful with drive "I" at the command level. There is a DOS command (Dangerous Operation Set) called AMRIGHT -y which automatically overwrites the FAT (Faulty Argument Trial) in older systems as well as the NTFS (Never Try Female Senses) of the device. It should only be used in -n Never mode, or you have to reformat the disc.
 
  • #6,273
fresh_42 said:
FAT (Faulty Argument Trial)
This should not be mistaken for the "Does this dress make me look FAT?" query which can result in SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES 9.0 if answered incorrectly.
 
  • #6,274
Borg said:
This should not be mistaken for the "Does this dress make me look FAT?" query which can result in SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES 9.0 if answered incorrectly.
It results in serious consequences if answered at all! One of quite a few lose-lose programs! The rule of thumb is: .COMmunication programs are ok., .EXEcution programs are dangerous.
 
  • #6,275
m0EjHPcSsaxN8QDdOUtmf0jpFg&_nc_ht=scontent.fmuc3-1.jpg
 
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  • #6,277
1569555110273.png
 
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  • #6,279
What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

I dunno, but the flag is a big plus.
 
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  • #6,280
I recently joined an ambidextrous group...

It didn’t feel right, so I left.
 
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  • #6,281
So I asked a physics major I know whether he ascribes to Everett's many-worlds interpretation.

"Yes and no," he replied.
 
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  • #6,282
todays pun

not making yardsticks.jpg
 
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  • #6,283
davenn said:
Well, actually they do, by ##\sim 9.36\,\%##, at least here.
 
  • #6,284
fresh_42 said:
Well, actually they do, by ##\sim 9.36\,\%##, at least here.
I heard that the factory shut down. :oldwink:
 
  • #6,285
Borg said:
I heard that the factory shut down. :oldwink:
Now that you say it. It's actually ##\sim 118,72 \,\%## since our your sticks are ##2\,m ## long. The one meter sticks are more toys and ad gifts. But we do call them yardsticks, inchsticks to translate exactly.
 
  • #6,286
davenn said:
todays pun
I really do not get it.:oldconfused:
 
  • #6,287
Bystander said:
I really do not get it.:oldconfused:
It's a double entendre. You can interpret it as they don't make them any longer than a yard or that they don't make them any more.
 
  • #6,288
Borg said:
It's a double entendre. You can interpret it as they don't make them any longer than a yard or that they don't make them any more.
Yes; and? Yes; and?
 
  • #6,289
They no longer make them?
 
  • #6,290
Bystander said:
Yes; and? Yes; and?

Borg said:
They no longer make them?
They make metre sticks now 😉
 
  • #6,291
davenn said:
They make metre sticks now 😉
...which are longer and why they don't make yardsticks any longer.
 
  • #6,292
Screen Shot 2019-10-01 at 8.55.19 AM.png
 
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  • #6,293
mfb said:
I recently joined an ambidextrous group...
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous... :oldbiggrin:
 
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  • #6,294
Mark44 said:
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous... :oldbiggrin:
If I gave my left arm, it would be really hard to falsify my claim that I used to be ambidextrous.

Actually, given my normal levels of coordination I think I may be ambisinistrous.
 
  • #6,295
BillTre said:
Haha
our tour guide gave that saying several times each time we past cyclists on the road as we were traveling through the Canadian Rockies a month ago
 
  • #6,296
gerone gertwo germany.jpg
 
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  • #6,297
Shouldn't Germany just be one flag, and the first two images need to be something else?
 
  • #6,298
Three accountants and three engineers are traveling together by train to a conference.

At the station, each of the accountants buys a ticket, but only one of the engineers does.

Perplexed, the accountants ask, "How are you all going to ride on only one ticket?" The engineers respond, "Wait and see."

The train pulls in. The engineers immediately cram into a restroom together.

After the train leaves, the conductor comes by, knocks on the restroom door, and says "Ticket, please." The door opens a crack, and one arm reaches out with the ticket. The conductor takes it and goes on his way.

The accountants agree that this is a neat trick, and resolve to try it on the return trip.

At the beginning of the return trip, one of the accountants buys a ticket, but none of the engineers do.

Perplexed, the accountants ask, "How are you all going to ride without any ticket?" The engineers respond, "Wait and see."

The train pulls in. The accountants immediately cram into one restroom together, and the engineers cram into another one.

After the train leaves, one of the engineers emerges from their restroom, darts over to the accountants' restroom, knocks on the door, and says "Ticket, please."
 
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  • #6,299
I guess they weren't accounting for that possibility. :oldtongue:
 
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  • #6,300
Borg said:
I guess they weren't accounting for that possibility. :oldtongue:
Indeed. The trick seems like social engineering. :oldbiggrin:
 
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