Collection of Lame Jokes

[George Jones]

Hard rock farm joke:

 

[Bystander]

Hard rock farm joke:

"Purple 'Hays'?" Not making sense to me.

 

[gmax137]

"Purple 'Hays'?" Not making sense to me.

 

[Borg]

"Purple 'Hays'?" Not making sense to me.

My first thought was dental floss.

 

[fresh_42]

My first thought was dental floss.

Mine was "Purple Rain" makes purple hay. Probably a generation thing, or due to the fact that I'm not really a Jimmy Hendrix fan.

 

[256bits]

What is that thing under the left rear fender, behind the tire?

View attachment 288486

looks like he took out R2D2 . completely cut in half and now you see his inards.

 

[George Jones]

"Purple 'Hays'?" Not making sense to me.

Yes, one has to "bend" the English, but this is part of the fun of the joke.

 

[WWGD]

Now 10443, that one was fecesious

And now we're numbering jokes here too. Cc @fresh_42

 

[WWGD]

Hard rock farm joke:
View attachment 288523

My friend naively translated ' Hard Rock' into French as ' Rock Fort' ( Rocquefort) , modulo incorrect spelling.

 

[fresh_42]

My friend naively translated ' Hard Rock' into French as ' Rock Fort' ( Rocquefort) , modulo incorrect spelling.

Do they serve Roquefort in Hard Rock Cafes?

 

[DaveC426913]

...with a roll?

 

[256bits]

you might think you know the lyrics to these familiar Rock songs.
who knew they were all about cheese.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Keith_McClary]

Koalas commit most violent crimes.

You're thinking of "drop bears".

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

A seismologist trembles into a bar.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

You're thinking of "drop bears".

I had one of those as a kid

 

[WWGD]

 

[256bits]

View attachment 288560

The wedding picture just made me realize why it is said 'Now you may Kiss the bride.'
It's actually KISS - Keep it simple stupid.

 

[256bits]

If you fail at something, don't let it get you down.
Just remember, Chapels 1 to 15 were botch jobs before they got it right.

 

[Borg]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Do they serve Roquefort in Hard Rock Cafes?

No but they do in Hard Roquefort Cafes.

Sounds like a new product: Hard Roquefort. The Roquefort for real men!

Yes men, and I eat my salad with a dirty fork!

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 288615

Why did she donate a little girl's kidney, and to whom?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

This business about only allowing an abortion up to 6 weeks is crazy. My mother thought it should be legal up to 18 years.

 

[fresh_42]

This business about only allowing an abortion up to 6 weeks is crazy. My mother thought it should be legal up to 18 years.

Well, that's quite a long pregnancy.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Well, that's quite a long pregnancy.

I was a big baby.

 

[Arjan82]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 288631

So does the little guy on the right

 

[fresh_42]

I remember when my nephew was born, there was a little Finnish baby brought into the room to his mother. He perfectly looked as if he came from a Tibetian monastery right away, his brow furrowed as if he was trying to figure out the meaning of life.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I remember when my nephew was born, there was a little Finnish baby brought into the room to his mother. He perfectly looked as if he came from a Tibetian monastery right away, his brow furrowed as if he was trying to figure out the meaning of life.

You are Finnish? I thought you are German?

 

[fresh_42]

You are Finnish? I thought you are German?

I am. My nephew is US-American, and the baby was Finnish.

 

[WWGD]

You are Finnish? I thought you are German?

No, he's just getting started!

 

[WWGD]

No, he's just getting started!

Sorry, both of you were asking for it.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I am. My nephew is US-American, and the baby was Finnish.

I ask because I'm German on my mother's side and Finnish on my father's side.

So which side gives me my good looks?

 

[fresh_42]

Sorry, both of you were asking for it.

Yes, but it was so foreseeable. I meanwhile know your comments before you make them. Kind of eerie.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Just got a great audio book: Learn Braille in Ten Easy Lessons.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

You can also get an audio version of the vaccine for heard immunity.

 

[WWGD]

Yes, but it was so foreseeable. I meanwhile know your comments before you make them. Kind of eerie.

And you still follow the thread? You have a lot of patience!

 

[WWGD]

You can also get an audio version of the vaccine for heard immunity.

With the Avian flu it was the heard about the bird.

 

[WWGD]

Yes, but it was so foreseeable. I meanwhile know your comments before you make them. Kind of eerie.

Another one for you , Herr ' Damus:

 

[Ivan Seeking]

The thread in GD reminds me of the philosophical chef who obsessed over the nature of thyme.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DaveC426913]

With the Avian flu it was the heard about the bird.

 

[fresh_42]