Collection of Lame Jokes

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BWV]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

Shots from a photo-shopping contest:

 

[phinds]

View attachment 288396

So which one is photo-shopped, the singer or the monkey?

 

[WWGD]

So which one is photo-shopped, the singer or the monkey?

McCaques are Scottish monkeys.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

But his name is on the check!

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

Here's how you treat anti-[whatever] without using aggressive behavior:

source: https://thenib.com/saddle-up/

 

[256bits]

View attachment 288423

is that the husband

 

[WWGD]

is that the husband

I assume, not sure.

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 288218

Reminds me of the Church of the Subgenius. Salvation is guaranteed if you join at the price of $90. Should you not achieve salvation as a paid up member you will be met in the afterlife by "Bob" who will refund your money and offer you a copy of his book "How to enjoy eternity on only five cents", priced at $89.95.

 

[WWGD]

Reminds me of the Church of the Subgenius. Salvation is guaranteed if you join at the pruce of $90. Should you not achieve salvation as a paid up member you will be met in the afterlife by "Bob" who will refund your money and offer you a copy of his book "How to enjoy eternity on only five cents", priced at $89.95.

I'm in!

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

I'm in!

Knock yourself out. Apparently their prices are lower than I remembered.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Borg]

I knew someone who totaled his truck when he swerved at a cat on the freeway. He forgot that he was towing a race car and ended up flipping it in the median. He wasn't the brightest of people.

 

[berkeman]

View attachment 288484

What is that thing under the left rear fender, behind the tire?

 

[Ibix]

What is that thing under the left rear fender, behind the tire?

View attachment 288486

I think it's a watermark.

(Badum-tish)

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 288496

Hey. This is the 21st century. None of those things are mutually exclusive.

 

[WWGD]

Hey. This is the 21st century. None of those things are mutually exclusive.

Probably even quaint in some environments today. But hey, I'm not that hip.

 

[DaveC426913]

Probably even quaint in some environments today. But hey, I'm not that hip.

My wife teaches family planning. She has had to learn to be ultra-hip with today's world. And me by osmosis.

 

[WWGD]

My wife teaches family planning. She has had to learn to be ultra-hip with today's world. And me by osmosis.

Hip, hip hooray!

 

[Ibix]

My wife teaches family planning.

And identifying as a man/woman will definitely override your biology when it comes to sex, and it's your wife's fault if she doesn't tapdance around that sufficiently carefully, right?

 

[WWGD]

And identifying as a man/woman will definitely override your biology when it comes to sex, and it's your wife's fault if she doesn't tapdance around that sufficiently carefully, right?

Dancing around 147 genders with associated nouns will get you a hip fracture. Though to me fractures are not really that hip.

 

[WWGD]

And identifying as a man/woman will definitely override your biology when it comes to sex, and it's your wife's fault if she doesn't tapdance around that sufficiently carefully, right?

I remember someone implying 1,4,9, 16, 25,...etc are hip *

*It's hip to be square.

 

[DaveC426913]

And identifying as a man/woman will definitely override your biology when it comes to sex, and it's your wife's fault if she doesn't tapdance around that sufficiently carefully, right?

Physiological sex, gender identity and orientation are all different things.
And there's no need to copulate to have a baby these days.
In fact, there's no need to even gestate to have a baby these days.
Heck, it's not even necessary to be female to gestate a baby.

 

[WWGD]

Physiological sex, gender identity and orientation are all different things.
And there's no need to copulate to have a baby these days.
In fact, there's no need to even gestate to have a baby these days.
Heck, it's not even necessary to be female to gestate a baby.

I'll settle for my baby back ribs.

 

[Ibix]

Physiological sex, gender identity and orientation are all different things.

I know that, but I'm not convinced everyone does, from posts I've read elsewhere...

 

[DaveC426913]

I know that,

Ah. I thought maybe post 10,436 was sarcastic/facetious.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Omega0]

A particle met a wave. Particle: Plop. Wave: Slosh!

 

[Halc]

Ah. I thought maybe post 10,436 was sarcastic/facetious.

Now 10443, that one was fecesious

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Physiological sex, gender identity and orientation are all different things.
And there's no need to copulate to have a baby these days.
In fact, there's no need to even gestate to have a baby these days.
Heck, it's not even necessary to be female to gestate a baby.

Pretty soon you will not only be able to have sex with your robot, he or she will be able to get pregnant.

I wonder how robots will identify...

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[strangerep]

I wonder how robots will identify...

Sans all forms of body odour?

 

[Keith_McClary]

https://s3.amazonaws.com/lowres.car...-opioids_epidemic-drugs-youth-pwin326_low.jpg

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 288515

This has been a very dark secret in law enforcement for decades. Koalas commit most violent crimes.

 

[DrClaude]

On the subject of koalas: while doing my Ph.D. I shared an office with another student who was into some woo stuff. One day, she spilled a bottle of essential oil of eucalyptus on her desk. We had to leave the window open to air the office and I was afraid koalas would be attracted and take over the office

(This was in Europe, I was just being silly...)

 

[DaveC426913]

https://s3.amazonaws.com/lowres.car...-opioids_epidemic-drugs-youth-pwin326_low.jpg

Paste the image itself, rather than the URL...