Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date Start date
  • Tags Tags
    Jokes
Click For Summary
The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #6,331
Mark44 said:
For our non-US readers, the bogus law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe was dreamed up by the hosts of NPR's Car Talk radio show, Tom and Ray Magliozzi, AKA "Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers."
I heard it first on old Three Stooges shorts.
 
  • Like
Likes Johnny Yuma, Keith_McClary, davenn and 2 others
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #6,332
United Nations office in Bangkok is so formal it won't let you in without a Thai.
 
  • Like
Likes Ibix, 256bits and davenn
  • #6,333
cookie sales.jpg
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes QuantumQuest, Ibix, Bystander and 5 others
  • #6,334
When Cobain was younger, people said he was a little curt.
 
  • Like
Likes Ibix and BillTre
  • #6,335
99qqYBz-Rjelu7kMvLA5UNq3AA&_nc_ht=scontent.fham1-1.jpg


The sign says: "Please don't park too close to the driver's side. I am rather fat."
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes QuantumQuest, DrClaude and Ibix
  • #6,336
fresh_42 said:
View attachment 251173

The sign says: "Please don't park too close to the driver's side. I am rather fat."
By the time anyone reads the sign they will likely already be parked. German efficiency needs an upgrade.
 
  • #6,337
Use a bar that sticks out on the driver side. At the end, attach a sign "please leave that much space".
 
  • Like
Likes QuantumQuest, davenn, BillTre and 1 other person
  • #6,338
mfb said:
Use a bar that sticks out on the driver side.
An umbrella, use an umbrella! Those British ones: long with a handle and a metal peak at the end. I have recognized that swinging such an umbrella while crossing a street works perfectly! People fear the possibility of a scratch more than they fear an accident with a pedestrian.
 
  • Like
Likes Keith_McClary
  • #6,340
I was the first person to install trampolines in musician's tour buses
and now everybody is jumping on the bandwagon.
 
  • Like
Likes QuantumQuest, WWGD, DrClaude and 2 others
  • #6,341
sun in my life.jpg
 
  • Like
Likes QuantumQuest, strangerep, BillTre and 1 other person
  • #6,343
davenn said:
jumping on the bandwagon.
Doesn't that imply the trampoline is on the roof of the bus?
 
  • #6,344
I was in my best physical shape at age one. People would look at me and say : Hey, you look like you're zero!
 
  • #6,345
jtbell said:
Doesn't that imply the trampoline is on the roof of the bus?
Yes. So you have to time your bounces right to avoid injury from signboards and traffic lights etc. People who don't time it right find themselves lying by the side of the road, hurt, and tend to self-medicate with whatever's to hand - hence the expression off the wagon.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes jtbell and BillTre
  • #6,346
How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?

None! A true warrior is not afraid of the dark!
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes QuantumQuest, DrClaude, jack action and 1 other person
  • #6,347
Ibix said:
How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?

None! A true warrior is not afraid of the dark!
How many red jerseys does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three! The first dies from the short circuit he causes while trying. The second dies falling off the ladder, and the third does the job. But he wore a blue jersey.
 
  • #6,348
6tZajg6uYJ0lvNU3Tob52a9zi8&_nc_ht=scontent.fymq3-1.jpg
 
  • Like
  • Sad
Likes QuantumQuest, DrClaude, strangerep and 1 other person
  • #6,349
And now a joke to use if you want to insult someone:

How many physics experts does it take to change a lightbulb?
You don't know? I didn't think you would!
 
  • #6,350
One of the worse- named recent books: "A crash course in driving".
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes QuantumQuest, Wrichik Basu, 256bits and 3 others
  • #6,351
DrGreg said:
And now a joke to use if you want to insult someone:

How many physics experts does it take to change a lightbulb?
You don't know? I didn't think you would!
Maybe you can continue :Everyone else knew but you. Wonder why.
Probably not included in "How to make friends and influence people".
 
  • #6,352
Which job has the most casual uniform?
Pilots, they wear plane clothes.
 
  • Like
Likes QuantumQuest, jack action, 256bits and 1 other person
  • #6,353
fresh_42 said:
How many red jerseys does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three! The first dies from the short circuit he causes while trying. The second dies falling off the ladder, and the third does the job. But he wore a blue jersey.
I read a short story years ago about a redshirt who's noticed what happens to redshirts and flat refuses to leave the ship until he's given a blue shirt. He's so pleased with it that it isn't until the transporter is being activated that he realizes Spock is wearing red and all his mates are in blue...

Babylon 5 straight up made a joke out of it in the TV series itself. The security insignia was a bullseye, and all the security troops wore it prominently on the left breast of their uniform. And the security chief was called Garibaldi - named after Giuseppe Garibaldi, an Italian leader whose volunteers did actually wear red shirts.
 
  • #6,355
  • #6,356
256bits said:
Are we sure the 1080p has the correct number of "p"?
Good spot - there are 22 rows of 47 plus the final row, which should be length 46 (since 23×47=1081) but clearly isn't.
 
  • #6,357
Ibix said:
Good spot - there are 22 rows of 47 plus the final row, which should be length 46 (since 23×47=1081) but clearly isn't.
That is not 0k.
 
  • Like
Likes Ibix and jack action
  • #6,359
Did you hear about the successful band leader who murdered someone? He got the chair, but wouldn't die. Turns out he was a good conductor.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
Likes mfb, davenn and BillTre
  • #6,360
1571519695431[1].jpg
 
  • Like
Likes Ibix, jack action and BillTre

Similar threads

  • · Replies 459 ·
16
Replies
459
Views
33K
  • · Replies 57 ·
2
Replies
57
Views
8K
  • · Replies 3 ·
Replies
3
Views
232
  • · Replies 402 ·
14
Replies
402
Views
39K
  • · Replies 7 ·
Replies
7
Views
3K
  • · Replies 15 ·
Replies
15
Views
5K
  • · Replies 1 ·
Replies
1
Views
3K
  • · Replies 21 ·
Replies
21
Views
3K
  • · Replies 5 ·
Replies
5
Views
2K
  • · Replies 185 ·
7
Replies
185
Views
10K