Collection of Lame Jokes

[phinds]

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 288773

 

[phinds]

 

[strangerep]

Another Carrington event will do.

TIL... about the "Carrington event".

I suspect the next one is waiting until there's major bushfires on many continents, major cyclones/hurricanes/tornadoes, heavy dependence on 5G towers, and the $\varepsilon/\theta/\kappa$ COVID variants have been granted their "freedom".

 

[phinds]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 288787

Wonder if Millenials know the meaning of (counter)clockwise.

 

[Keith_McClary]

Wonder if Millenials know the meaning of (counter)clockwise.

Just explain that you turn the dial on a phone clockwise.

 

[phinds]

Just explain that you turn the dial on a phone clockwise.

But which way is that? Smartphones don't HAVE a rotary dial.

 

[DaveC426913]

But which way is that? Smartphones don't HAVE a rotary dial.

The same way the hands go on a space-age Timex watch.

 

[phinds]

The same way the hands go on a space-age Timex watch.
View attachment 288799

Now you're really going old-school. Who wears a watch any more?

 

[fresh_42]

Now you're really going old-school. Who wears a watch any more?

Me:

 

[berkeman]

Who wears a watch any more?

I do, but it's not analog. I need a large digital display that includes the day and date (and time in military format). When you're working on a patient (and the Patient Care Report) in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night at the end of a long shift, you need all that info easy to read to put in the PCR...

https://www.rei.com/media/d3014785-b04d-44dc-80c3-e9c8cdb6ec5a?size=784x588

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[DaveC426913]

Staff's reaction is priceless.
"Why you think I ghost?? Could a ghost do THIS??" :whack smack whackity-whack whack:

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Now you're really going old-school. Who wears a watch any more?

They were all but a thing of the past. Now half the engineers at work are wearing new Apple watch phones.

Can you say Dick Tracy?

 

[Borg]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 288815

Why didn't I ever think of that??

 

[jack action]

But which way is that? Smartphones don't HAVE a rotary dial.

Problem solved with the Rotary Un-Smartphone.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Dudes, vinyl is sick. Everyone can look at their vinyl for a clockwise reference.

 

[fresh_42]

Problem solved with the Rotary Un-Smartphone.

View attachment 288816​

I think about an upgrade of mine, too.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I think about an upgrade of mine, too.

View attachment 288817

That doesn't show the time.

It shows the time you have left.

 

[sysprog]

That doesn't show the time.

It shows the time you have left.

Assuming that the timer is kept orthogonal to the ground, the top part shows how much time remains on the timer, and the bottom part shows how much time has elapsed $-$ of course, @fresh_42 being a math guy, and knowing the starting conditions and the characteristics of the device, he can tell how much time remains or has elapsed, from a quick glance at either end.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Assuming that the timer is kept orthogonal to the ground, the top part shows how much time remains on the timer,

The top part shows the time remaining for the wearer.

 

[sysprog]

The top part shows the time remaining for the wearer.

Couldn't it show how much time remains until, e.g., dinner is fully baked but not burned?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Couldn't it show how much time remains until, e.g., dinner is fully baked but not burned?

You don't want a psychic death watch that tells you how long you have to live? You would rather have a potato report?

 

[sysprog]

You don't want a psychic death watch that tells you how long you have to live? You would rather have a potato report?

Hey, weren't we discussing @fresh_42's wristwatch? He knows when he started it

 

[Keith_McClary]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

The checker at the local store knows I don't drink and asked why I often buy alcohol. "It's for my dates", I replied. "You don't think I'll get anywhere without alcohol do you?"

PS The checker lost it and I heard people behind me in line laughing.

 

[WWGD]

The checker at the local store knows I don't drink and asked why I often buy alcohol. "It's for my dates", I replied. "You don't think I'll get anywhere without alcohol do you?"

PS The checker lost it and I heard people behind me in line laughing.

Confused reply: I prefer Checkers to Chess.

 

[WWGD]

 

[phinds]

too tiny to read

 

[WWGD]

Dob

too tiny to read

Don't worry, you'll eventually grow up ;). Will check again.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Bystander]

Hard rock farm joke:

Yes, one has to "bend" the English, but this is part of the fun of the joke.

..., still can't get from "bales" to "haze" through any sort of "bent English"...I fired a "shot in the dark." Some sort of colloquialism?

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 288943

For what it's worth, neither "Crystal Methodist Church" or "Effing, SC" turns up any results in Google Maps. (drat!)

This inspired me to search for a certain village in Austria. I discovered that it was renamed Fugging this year.

 

[256bits]

Just one of the many more signs from the fictional town and altered sign
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/crystal-methodist-church-sign/

still, kinda funny though

 

[WWGD]

For what it's worth, neither "Crystal Methodist Church" or "Effing, SC" turns up any results in Google Maps. (drat!)

This inspired me to search for a certain village in Austria. I discovered that it was renamed Fugging this year.

Now that you mention it, it wouldn't surprise me if the same was the case with some of the other pics, without my knowledge.

 

[George Jones]