Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
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  • #10,653
The cat is clean!

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WWGD said:
I will sing Happy Birthday to Tu You You too!
Here we go again!
 
  • #10,657
"
The Aborigines in a remote part of Northern Australia asked their new elder if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was an elder in a modern community he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the tribe should collect firewood to be prepared.

But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea.

He walked out to the telephone booth on the highway, called the Bureau of Meteorology and asked, 'Is the coming winter in this area going to be cold?'

The meteorologist responded, 'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold..'

So, the elder went back to his tribe and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.

A week later he called the Bureau of Meteorology again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'

The meteorologist again replied, 'Yep, it's going to be a very cold winter.'

The elder went back to his tribe and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later the elder called the Bureau again. Hey, 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?.

'Absolutely,' the guy replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' the elder asked.

The weatherman replied, 'Our satellites have reported that the Aborigines in the north are collecting firewood like crazy, and that's always a sure sign.
"
 
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  • #10,658
Ivan Seeking said:
Here we go again!
I couldn't find a way of writing on the same post. I gave up and made a new post.
 
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WWGD said:
I will sing Happy Birthday to Tu You You too!
For her birthday, we gave Tu Youyou a Tatoo tatoo and tutu too.
 
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mpresic3 said:
I can lick my weight in tigers. I weigh about 1/3 of a tiger. Give me the third of the tiger between the teeth and the claws, and I should do alright
I just found out the saying "I can lick my weight in tigers" is not well known. No one is going to get this joke. I guess the joke is on me.
 
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Ivan Seeking said:
The cat is clean!

View attachment 289274
My friend's cat (yes, a ginger) used to love jumping in the top-loading washer as he was loading it.
He was terrified that the cat would jump in one time while his back was turned and he wouldn't notice.
So, when it jumped in once, he slammed the lid and pounded on the lid, in the hopes of scaring it enough that it would stop trying.
It was hard to watch, but ... tough love.
 
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  • #10,669
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DaveC426913 said:
So, when it jumped in once, he slammed the lid and pounded on the lid, in the hopes of scaring it
He could have held down the interlock and turned it on, so it started to fill with water.
 
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  • #10,674
Now what am I forgetting...?

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BillTre said:
Maybe its a girl goat.
I have trouble with the difference between sheep, goat, ewe, ram , and I think , whether.
 
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WWGD said:
I have trouble with the difference between sheep, goat, ewe, ram , and I think , whether.
"Nanny".
 
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Keith_McClary said:
"Nanny".
And of course, lamb. Never heard of ' Nanny'. Nor of other animals having so many different 'versions'.
 
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BillTre said:
That joke is a let-down.
Speak for yourself - I felt positively uplifted! Almost as much as when I have to explain to foreigners in my country why we have "gods elevator" with a button that lights up with "I fart".
 
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Here is a classic I just ran across:

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WWGD said:
I have trouble with the difference between sheep, goat, ewe, ram , and I think , whether.
wether - a castrated ram = castrated male sheep
ewe - female sheep
goat - goat
Sheep goes bahahahahahah
Goat goes baaaaaaaaaaah!

Also, sheep lie like hell.
 
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Ivan Seeking said:
wether - a castrated ram = castrated male sheep
ewe - female sheep
goat - goat
Sheep goes bahahahahahah
Goat goes baaaaaaaaaaah!

Also, sheep lie like hell.
Thank you. Where do Lambs fit in ?
 
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WWGD said:
Thank you. Where do Lambs fit in ?
Just between the potatoes and the beans.
 
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Ivan Seeking said:
Just between the potatoes and the beans.
And the Vindaloo?
 
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Do you mean the carne de vinha d'alhos?
 
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Ivan Seeking said:
Do you mean the carne de vinha d'alhos?
No, the Indian dish(es) : Lamb Vindaloo, Chicken Vindaloo, etc.
 
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WWGD said:
No, the Indian dish(es) : Lamb Vindaloo, Chicken Vindaloo, etc.
Which comes from carne de vinha d'alhos. :)
 
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Ivan Seeking said:
Which comes from carne de vinha d'alhos. :)
Ah, got it. Just surprised to see Portuguese influence in India, despite knowing about Goa. I understand Japan's ' Arigato' comes from Portuguese ' Obrigado' too.
 

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