Collection of Lame Jokes

[jack action]

A cockroach can survive a nuclear war but dies when hit with a newspaper.

See how dangerous are media.

 

[artis]

A cockroach can survive a nuclear war but dies when hit with a newspaper.

See how dangerous are media.

Paper phone books bring this threat to a whole new level.
Only one can't find them anymore...

 

[jtbell]

I just checked the TV program guide on my TiVo. The local FOX station shows the following for this afternoon:

4:30 - To Be Announced: Sports Non-Event

 

[artis]

4:30 - To Be Announced: Sports Non-Event

That might be golf...

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

Paper phone books bring this threat to a whole new level.
Only one can't find them anymore...

So smartphones are the real threat?

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DennisN]

 

[jtbell]

4:30 - To Be Announced: Sports Non-Event

That might be golf...

It turned out to be a Canadian magazine show about a woman learning how to play hockey, eh.

Then a non-sports non-event: a entertainment magazine show with fast-paced clips of the doings of movie and TV stars.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

If time is money then technically an ATM is a time machine.

 

[DennisN]

Something for Psychic Forums:

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

Who picks up guide dog poop?

 

[DennisN]

Can anyone relate to this?

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

View attachment 291137

Cats can be quite persuasive:

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

View attachment 291169

Took me a whole day to get this one

 

[DaveC426913]

Took me a whole day to get this one

 

[phinds]

 

[artis]

Speaking about Italian, this reminds me of the rather current internet meme "My name is Giovanni Giorgio, but everybody calls me - Giorgio"

 

[DennisN]

About Italians; there was a hilarious Italian character in the comedy movie "Spy":

 

[BillTre]

Tis the ghost dog season:

 

[BillTre]

 

[DennisN]

A programmer puts two glasses beside his bed before going to sleep: one with water and one empty.
When his wife inquires as to why, he replies: "The one with water is there in case I wake up at night thirsty."
"How about the other one?", asks the wife, still not getting the point.
"That's in case I wake up at night not feeling thirsty."

 

[sysprog]

Speaking about Italian, this reminds me of the rather current internet meme "My name is Giovanni Giorgio, but everybody calls me - Giorgio"

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/my-name-is-giovanni-giorgio

Youtube: Daft Punk video (opening with Giorgio Moroder narrative) . . .

 

[artis]

Youtube: Daft Punk video (opening with Giorgio Moroder narrative) . . .

Yes I knew this, I am actually a bit of a fan of Daft Punk.
I could make the endless youtube comment that "I was listening to them before the meme" ... :d

 

[jack action]

 

[jtbell]

The oversupply of lawyers is really getting out of hand. One of them is suing Kellogg's for not having enough strawberries in their Strawberry Pop Tarts.

This calls for serious pop tort reform!

 

[jack action]

RIP
BOILED WATER
You will be mist.​

 

[WWGD]

Scottish family has no internet :

The McLachlan's Clan lack access to LAN.

 

[BillTre]

Description of an ad for a backwards clock I found on-line.
Numbers are counterclockwise and the hand move counterclockwise.
The ad text is reversed:

 

[DaveC426913]

Description of an ad for a backwards clock I found on-line.
Numbers are counterclockwise and the hand move counterclockwise.
The ad text is reversed:
View attachment 291260

I just saw one of these backward clocks somewhere (online). Its purpose is ostensibly to be hung on the wall opposite the front hall mirror, where you could see it reflected while getting ready to go out.

 

[jrmichler]

Clock on our living room wall. It's easier for my wife to read - she's dyslexic.

And it gets interesting attention from unsuspecting guests.

 

[jack action]

Description of an ad for a backwards clock I found on-line.
Numbers are counterclockwise and the hand move counterclockwise.
The ad text is reversed:
View attachment 291260

Thank God it still accepts an "AA" battery, even in reverse! But do you have to reverse the polarity, though?

 

[Bystander]

But do you have to reverse the polarity, though?

Or is it the complex conjugate?

 

[BillTre]

Thank God it still accepts an "AA" battery, even in reverse! But do you have to reverse the polarity, though?

If it reversed in time will the current flow backwards (Ben Franklin style)?

 

[jack action]

Out of all the inventions in the last 100 years, the dry erase board is probably the most remarkable.

 

[jack action]

 

[artis]

Out of all the inventions in the last 100 years, the dry erase board is probably the most remarkable.

Yes but only if you write on it backwards.Someone should take one of those backwards clocks and a regular forward clock and tie the clock hands together and let them fight out the time, "survival of the fastest"

 

[jack action]

I just burnt my Hawaiian pizza ... I guess I should've put it on aloha temperature.

 

[WWGD]

Not intended as a joke, but:

 

[WWGD]

 

[DaveC426913]

Not intended as a joke, but:View attachment 291300

There's a Roadrunner and a huge boulder here somewhere.

 

[Keith_McClary]

View attachment 291301

Rare photograph, 'cause usually it was a howling whiteout blizzard.

 

[WWGD]

Rare photograph, 'cause usually it was a howling whiteout blizzard.

And that is a picture of both going to school and coming back. Both ways.