Collection of Lame Jokes

[jtbell]

 

[davenn]

 

[256bits]

View attachment 253641

There should be one for mathematicians on transcendental meditation.

 

[WWGD]

There should be one for mathematicians on transcendental meditation.

Their resist having one.

 

[davenn]

A pun that actually has good advice ...

 

[256bits]

Try programming that one in C,
or have the AI geeks solve it.
Endless fun.

 

[WWGD]

This 15 year-old guy tells a father:
"Father, I just had 5 hours of sex with the most beautiful woman ever."
"Ok, then say 10 hail-Marys and 5 Rosaries."
" No, father, I am Buddhist."
"Then why are you telling me?"
"I'm telling _everyone_!"

 

[Mark44]

Apologies if repeated somewhere in the previous 6606 posts.

"She was only a moonshiner's daughter, but I love her still."

Or...

"She was only a rancher's daughter, but all the cow men knew 'er."

Or ...
"She was only a welder's daughter, but she had acetylene legs."

 

[Bystander]

acetylene legs.

Noowww I get it.

 

[jtbell]

"She was only a welder's daughter, but she had acetylene legs."

So long as they’re not toulene...

 

[WWGD]

No, that's only in New Orleans and they have a school named for them.

 

[jbriggs444]

Is there no "like" selection for /runs screaming from the room while holding his nose/?

 

[WWGD]

Workers at the glue-making plant made the best of a sticky situation.
cc JBriggs444: Don't come back yet!

 

[WWGD]

The jokes about horseradish
were pun-gent.
(Still, JBriggs...)

 

[WWGD]

Double horrible pun in classical music festival:
Going for Baroque. Sebastian is Bach!

 

[fresh_42]

Double horrible pun in classical music festival:
Going for Baroque. Sebastian is Bach!

Sure you want to brag with your incapability to pronounce "ch" correctly?

 

[WWGD]

Sure you want to brag with your incapability to pronounce "ch" correctly?

Anything, including mispronouncing for the sake of a (horrible) pun.

 

[BillTre]

This one is really lame:

 

[WWGD]

This one is really lame:

View attachment 253784

We're both torturing sentences just to be punny.

 

[fresh_42]

We're both torturing sentences just to be punny.

Indeed! Btw. can Americans pronounce Jorge?

 

[WWGD]

Indeed! Btw. can Americans pronounce Jorge?

Probably in different ways. I know (some) Spanish so I would pronounce different than many. Why? Are you meeting with Jorge on your way bach?

 

[fresh_42]

I'm asking since the "J" is similar to "ch". I further assume that there are many Bachs as well as many Jorges in the USA. So why doesn't the Bachs work, while the Jorges probably don't change their spanish pronunciation?

 

[WWGD]

Because in English ch is mostly pronounced as a 'k'. But the J is pronounced likeca light g.

 

[mfb]

This one is really lame:

I wonder how often it has been copied, translated via screenshot, or encoded differently for other reasons to make the quality that bad.

 

[DrGreg]

Double horrible pun in classical music festival:
Going for Baroque. Sebastian is Bach!

I don't speak German, but I think the "ch" in "Bach" is pronounced similarly to how the Scots pronounce it in "loch" or how the Welsh pronounce it in "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch".

But back to mispronouncing it in a joke:

I think that Arnold Schwarzenegger has said that, in a future film about composers, he'll be Bach.

 

[WWGD]

I don't speak German, but I think the "ch" in "Bach" is pronounced similarly to how the Scots pronounce it in "loch" or how the Welsh pronounce it in "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch".

But back to mispronouncing it in a joke:

I think that Arnold Schwarzenegger has said that, in a future film about composers, he'll be Bach.

He also did a take on Bill S's 'Omellette': 2B or not 2B .

 

[jtbell]

Going for Baroque. Sebastian is Bach!

Yeah, gopher baroque!

 

[WWGD]

Yeah, gopher baroque!

View attachment 253808

AC DC tried a rock version of his music: Sebastian Bach is Back in Black.

 

[kuruman]

Have you noticed that in a symphony's repertoire Bach is more Offenbach than Offenbach is Bach?

 

[WWGD]

You can trace back Bach's Bachanalia to Offenbach's bachalaureate days.