Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

Parachutes are not for people who want to go skydiving but for people who want to go skydiving more than once.

Do you know the Golfers' anthem?

Spoiler

Do you know the electricians' anthem?

Spoiler

Touched a thousand times, nothing happened a thousand times! A thousand and one night and it has made zoom!

 

[Ibix]

What kind of ape explodes?

A baboom.

 

[Ibix]

Where do you take a whale to find out how much it weighs?

A whale weigh station.

 

[mfb]

Parachutes are not for people who want to go skydiving but for people who want to go skydiving more than once.

A study found no difference in the risk of death or major harm when jumping out of aircraft with and without parachute:
Parachute use to prevent death and major trauma when jumping from aircraft: randomized controlled trial

 

[256bits]

A follow up study - difference in the risk of death or major harm when impacting with ground with and without parachute:

 

[mfb]

No, the impact with the ground was part of the study.

 

[Ibix]

A study found no difference in the risk of death or major harm when jumping out of aircraft with and without parachute:
Parachute use to prevent death and major trauma when jumping from aircraft: randomized controlled trial

That's hilarious! I love that the paper has a correction because they got the less than/greater than the wrong way round on their p-value.

I know people who do RCTs for a living. I might send them that...

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

Actually, I think they're both models in scrubs...

 

[Ibix]

This is my stepladder.

I never knew my real ladder.

 

[Ibix]

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the oven until its bill withers.

 

[WWGD]

A study found no difference in the risk of death or major harm when jumping out of aircraft with and without parachute:
Parachute use to prevent death and major trauma when jumping from aircraft: randomized controlled trial

How did you get hold of my thesis?

 

[fresh_42]

How did you get hold of my thesis?

Have you looked back as you left the plane? He was right behind you!

 

[WWGD]

https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/cute-little-girl-sleeping-teddy-bear-449079511

Have you looked back as you left the plane? He was right behind you!

But he was shouting something about his glasses in German.

 

[WWGD]

I have a picture of a kidnapping (kid napping):
https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/cute-little-girl-sleeping-teddy-bear-449079511

Should I call the police?

 

[fresh_42]

I have a picture of a kidnapping (kid napping):
https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/cute-little-girl-sleeping-teddy-bear-449079511

Should I call the police?

Depends. Is it your teddy bear?

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[mfb]

The real Faro
Now we just need the two to make a movie together.

 

[jack action]

 

[jtbell]

Alongside the roads here, I often see signs that say "We Buy Ugly Houses" and a phone number.

I've wondered just what they do with those houses. Yesterday I think I may have found out.

I saw a similar sign that says "Invest in Real Estate" and a phone number.

 

[Ibix]

Alongside the roads here, I often see signs that say "We Buy Ugly Houses" and a phone number.

I've wondered just what they do with those houses. Yesterday I think I may have found out.

I saw a similar sign that says "Invest in Real Estate" and a phone number.

You mean, you think they buy houses you can't sell to anyone else and then sell them to markspeople as an investment?

 

[jack action]

 

[BillTre]

Would only work for shaking in certain directions.

 

[mfb]

Simple: One kit for each plane.

 

[DrGreg]

Simple: One kit for each plane.

You won't detect many earthquakes in an aeroplane.

 

[mfb]

If it is on the ground...

In the air the false positive rate might be another concern.

 

[DaveC426913]

Overhead at breakfast:

"Occam's Razor: the simplest explanation is often the best one."
"What are atoms made of? Ghosts! That's simple - it's one word!"

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]