Collection of Lame Jokes
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Here it's the word for intellectual show offs. Common people use a word which translates as not-ashamed.WWGD said:
Keith_McClary
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Reward offered to anyone who can remove the tire around this poor crocodile's neckBillTre said:
I know crocs aren't gators, but there could be some synergy here.
Mentor
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Why are some countries blue and some yellow?
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I wondered if it was later joiners, but Portugal and Spain joined at the same time - so not thatmfb said:
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Can't be. Swiss army knives are called Sackmesser in Switzerland. And it does not stick in the gators sack.jtbell said:
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Did you hear about the guy who took British Airways to court after they put his luggage on the wrong plane? He lost his case.
Side note: we flew once and the airline's ground staff had no computers (scuttlebut was a fire had taken out the data center and the backup data center, which was in the next room). Our luggage ended up in a different city. My wife phoned up a day or so later to enquire about the status of our lost luggage, to be informed that our luggage was not lost. They knew exactly where it was. It just wasn't in the same place as us.
Side note: we flew once and the airline's ground staff had no computers (scuttlebut was a fire had taken out the data center and the backup data center, which was in the next room). Our luggage ended up in a different city. My wife phoned up a day or so later to enquire about the status of our lost luggage, to be informed that our luggage was not lost. They knew exactly where it was. It just wasn't in the same place as us.
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If I had to describe myself in three words, I'd say "not good at counting".
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What's brown and runs round your garden?
Your fence.
Your fence.
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I knew somebody was going to say that.davenn said:So you don't have the traditional " white picket fence" ?
But my fence is unpainted, so it's actually brown.
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What does diarrhea have in common with an electric car?
The fear of not arriving home!
Keith_McClary
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Descendants of extinct tortoise species found in Galapagosfresh_42 said:
Mentor
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What does diarrhea have in common with petrol cars?jack action said:
Running with liquids
Mentor
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What is common between electric cars and liquid nitrogen - but only in the US?
No gas
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What is common between electric cars and drag racers (again, only in the US)?mfb said:
NO gas
Spoilers are more common on drag racers, though.
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Normally, I don't take these seriously, but this one is real! I had to write 'antivirus for c' on www.google.com, but it did show up in the suggestions!
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Do you count calories, too?
No, I trust that they're all there.
No, I trust that they're all there.
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What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey.
Aye, matey.
Science Advisor
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Not quite a lame joke but a strange , grammatically-correct but my brain rebels against accepting it; seems like a grammatical version of optical illusions where picture seems to show different things depending on the angle and the way you approach them:
Greeks were fighting machines. I am not fighting machines.
Greeks were fighting machines. I am not fighting machines.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.WWGD said:
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Venezuela flies likely old equipment.Ibix said:
256bits
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Ice cream and Banana aren't friends anymore.
Banana split.
Banana split.