# Collection of Lame Jokes

#### WWGD

Gold Member
Was that the Hepatitis Sea?

(This one works better when spoken rather than written.)
When I step outside of PF I am on to the web's Idio Sea.

Gold Member

#### Steelwolf

Gold Member
But, as the dog on the right can tell you, you lose a LOT when you go and digitalise an analogue system!

Especially at that much lower pixel rate, I mean, that is a ton of bits and bytes left out from the original via digitalization.

Mentor
2018 Award

#### Swamp Thing

A lame man limps into a bar.
"Heard the one about ...", he begins.
"Hold it right there", the barkeeper yells. "No lame jokes allowed in here".

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#### 256bits

Gold Member
Geez, that sets up these oldies,
Disclaimer: No animals or people have been hurt or maltreated through the production of these really lame jokes.

What do you call a person with no arms and no legs who falls into the ocean?
"Boy"

and this one,
A kid with no arms and no legs falls into the sea. What's his name?
"Bob"

And ,
How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?
"Wave at him"

Gold Member

#### jtbell

Mentor
In memory of MAD magazine, from their spoof of Star Trek (Star Blecch):

"Where are the bathrooms on this ship?" [the starship Boobyprize]
"There aren't any. You'll just have to go where no man has gone before."

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Mentor

Gold Member

#### mfb

Mentor
Just got back from a job interview where I was asked if I could perform under pressure.
"Yes, I have been diving often. What are we talking about, 4-5 bar?"

#### davenn

Gold Member
"Yes, I have been diving often. What are we talking about, 4-5 bar?"
Always wanted to try scuba diving .... never ever did get there

some good snorkelling on the Australian Great Barrier Reef is about the best ...
ohhh and some helmet diving in the Philippines

#### davenn

Gold Member
hahaha cracked me up

#### davenn

Gold Member
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? ….
Beer nuts are $2.49 Deer nuts are under a buck. #### Ibix Science Advisor What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? …. Beer nuts are$2.49 Deer nuts are under a buck.
So beer nuts are dear nuts and deer nuts are not dear nuts?

Mentor
2018 Award

Gold Member

#### jtbell

Mentor
Did you hear about the guy who went on a trip and liked his hotel so much he decided to Marriott?

And then he ran off with Ruby Tuesday next door.

#### fresh_42

Mentor
2018 Award
Infertility is hereditary.

If your parents did not have children, you will not get any either.

#### BillTre

Gold Member
2018 Award
Infertility is hereditary.

If your parents did not have children, you will not get any either.
You (each living entity actually) come from a long line of reproducers, going back to the beginning of life (which is a pretty impressive string of reproductive success).

#### fresh_42

Mentor
2018 Award
I find it even more impressive, that it seems we all come down to a couple of families, i.e. went through an enormous genetic bottleneck. It makes the appearance of nowadays humanity with all this racism in the world pretty ridiculous.

Gold Member

#### BillTre

Gold Member
2018 Award
I had trouble spelling that word for a long time because of that.

#### Steelwolf

Gold Member
@fresh_42 Your Zuckerberg joke reminds me of the message I left on the answering machine years ago in that perfect deep, half-snarky tone with the Caps Actually Voiced:

"Hello My Friend, Welcome to The Machine; Control Number 555-5555. Please leave your Name and Identification Number at the Tone, and Remember: The Computer is Your Friend!"

I had people calling me to hear my message, not to actually talk to me! It was a Hoot!

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#### nuuskur

If your parents did not have children..
I'm already conflicted with this bit

"Collection of Lame Jokes"

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