Collection of Lame Jokes

WWGD

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Was that the Hepatitis Sea?


(This one works better when spoken rather than written.)
When I step outside of PF I am on to the web's Idio Sea.
 

Steelwolf

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But, as the dog on the right can tell you, you lose a LOT when you go and digitalise an analogue system!

Especially at that much lower pixel rate, I mean, that is a ton of bits and bytes left out from the original via digitalization.
 
A lame man limps into a bar.
"Heard the one about ...", he begins.
"Hold it right there", the barkeeper yells. "No lame jokes allowed in here".
 
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256bits

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890
Geez, that sets up these oldies,
Disclaimer: No animals or people have been hurt or maltreated through the production of these really lame jokes.

What do you call a person with no arms and no legs who falls into the ocean?
"Boy"

and this one,
A kid with no arms and no legs falls into the sea. What's his name?
"Bob"

And ,
How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?
"Wave at him"
 

jtbell

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15,369
3,115
In memory of MAD magazine, from their spoof of Star Trek (Star Blecch):

"Where are the bathrooms on this ship?" [the starship Boobyprize]
"There aren't any. You'll just have to go where no man has gone before."
 
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davenn

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"Yes, I have been diving often. What are we talking about, 4-5 bar?"
Always wanted to try scuba diving .... never ever did get there :frown:

some good snorkelling on the Australian Great Barrier Reef is about the best ...
ohhh and some helmet diving in the Philippines
 

jtbell

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15,369
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Did you hear about the guy who went on a trip and liked his hotel so much he decided to Marriott?

And then he ran off with Ruby Tuesday next door.
 

BillTre

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2018 Award
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Infertility is hereditary.

If your parents did not have children, you will not get any either.
Which leads to the following:
You (each living entity actually) come from a long line of reproducers, going back to the beginning of life (which is a pretty impressive string of reproductive success).
 

fresh_42

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I find it even more impressive, that it seems we all come down to a couple of families, i.e. went through an enormous genetic bottleneck. It makes the appearance of nowadays humanity with all this racism in the world pretty ridiculous.
 

BillTre

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2018 Award
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I had trouble spelling that word for a long time because of that.
 

Steelwolf

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175
@fresh_42 Your Zuckerberg joke reminds me of the message I left on the answering machine years ago in that perfect deep, half-snarky tone with the Caps Actually Voiced:

"Hello My Friend, Welcome to The Machine; Control Number 555-5555. Please leave your Name and Identification Number at the Tone, and Remember: The Computer is Your Friend!"

I had people calling me to hear my message, not to actually talk to me! It was a Hoot!
 
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