Collection of Lame Jokes

Steelwolf

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Heck, Humans are so successful procreating that rabbits make jokes about em!
 

Steelwolf

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I had thought (and happily so) that I had missed as far as being a Reproducing Human, largely by choice, partly by bad fever the possibilities were limited, but I was proven incorrect when I got a call from a relative asking if I "Had ever dated" a certain gal; 'well, Yes'; Was there ANY Chance of a kid;..ANY chance, well, Ya, once....Oh No...and so I took and sent sample off and DNA done proved me wrong. Not only do I have a daughter, but 4 grands. (No Joke there)

And That is a "Failed Breeder", which makes me worry about all those people that Know they are parents...but of Just How Many? The gals know for sure, the guys...not always!

Who knows, it may be YOU next to get a call from someone who was connected via DNA and traced back to: "It Hadda Be...."
 

fresh_42

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... in that perfect deep, half-snarky tone with the Caps Actually Voiced ...
I remember a woman who did something similar: spoke her text in a deep, sexy voice with the background music "Just the two of us". She said she changed that after her gynecologist called her to confirm an appointment.
 

BillTre

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I had thought (and happily so) that I had missed as far as being a Reproducing Human, largely by choice, partly by bad fever the possibilities were limited, but I was proven incorrect when I got a call from a relative asking if I "Had ever dated" a certain gal; 'well, Yes'; Was there ANY Chance of a kid;..ANY chance, well, Ya, once....Oh No...and so I took and sent sample off and DNA done proved me wrong. Not only do I have a daughter, but 4 grands. (No Joke there)

And That is a "Failed Breeder", which makes me worry about all those people that Know they are parents...but of Just How Many? The gals know for sure, the guys...not always!

Who knows, it may be YOU next to get a call from someone who was connected via DNA and traced back to: "It Hadda Be...."
Reminds me of a friend who has no kids, but has an identical twin who does have kids.
Therefore, he has virtual kids, from a genetic similarity prespective.
 

Steelwolf

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@BillTre, Given our chemical backbone that would make his Nep/Niece's as his 'Carbon Copy Kids'... And ditto for grandchildren.
 

Wrichik Basu

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In this cricket World Cup we have witnessed:
1. Two Days of a “One Day” match between India and New Zealand
2. A six in the final that went rolling on the ground
3. NZ losing the final by “ZERO RUNS” and “ZERO WICKETS”
4. An Irishman lifting the World Cup for England
5. A final decided by a weird rule.
6. First time in cricket, a team won a match neither by runs nor wickets, but by a rule.
 

Ibix

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Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar and one of them says: "hey, I think I lost my electron". The other one asks: "are you sure?". The first one replies: "I'm positive".
The other one says "I can lend you mine, but I'll be keeping an ion it".
 

davenn

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5. A final decided by a weird rule.
6. First time in cricket, a team won a match neither by runs nor wickets, but by a rule.

yeah and a rule made up by the English on the day
talk about moving the goal posts !! :mad::mad:

I'm pretty peeved by that stupid result

Dave
 

256bits

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Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar and one of them says: "hey, I think I lost my electron". The other one asks: "are you sure?". The first one replies: "I'm positive".
The other one says "I can lend you mine, but I'll be keeping an ion it".
And the barkeep says, "OK guys, Two drinks on the house. No charge."

I just made that up, so if its not funny, that's my excuse.
 

DrGreg

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Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar and one of them says: "hey, I think I lost my electron". The other one asks: "are you sure?". The first one replies: "I'm positive".
If the atom wasn't sure whether an electron had been lost or not, would that be an example of Schrödinger's cation?
 
That is one of the jokes that only works when told like that. If you try to include a literal quote (from the wife complaining) it fails because "You don't buy me flowers" and "you don't buy my flowers" are different.
It works in certain dialects.
 

DrGreg

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That is one of the jokes that only works when told like that. If you try to include a literal quote (from the wife complaining) it fails because "You don't buy me flowers" and "you don't buy my flowers" are different.
It works in certain dialects.
Yes, when spoken, but not when written down.
 

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