Collection of Lame Jokes

Steelwolf

Gold Member
100
166
A man walks into a zoo.
The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
Its a shitzu!
And at the snack bar they serve Mu-Shu Shitzu...
 

Steelwolf

Gold Member
100
166
Careful, your post may inspire more lame age jokes. To wit:

"I am so old my printer writes in cuneiform."
"Uses only the finest Babylonian mud, from Ur!"
That joke is so old as to be Urbane, our archeologists are so busy uncovering and deciphering the equivalent of Sumerian texting networks, and with the way the Sumerians were about copying records the archaeologists get upset when they come across whole troves that are nothing but Spam!

Have to admit, they did not update near as fast as Microsoft....
 

Steelwolf

Gold Member
100
166
Fair ride Rider: "Hey, when does this darned, super-scary ride stop?" Ride Operator "As soon as your date stops screaming so loud, she is drawing people from miles away" Rider: "NOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOooOoooOOOOOOO!
 
506
303
I am so glad to be one of those people that can easily hear music without jogging.
Is this a schizophrenia joke or am I overthinking?
 

WWGD

Science Advisor
Gold Member
4,246
1,809
My Taiwanese friend has Taipei personality. (Ouch:)).
 

fresh_42

Mentor
Insights Author
2018 Award
11,092
7,629
I can do ouch as well:

"Do you speak Mandarin?"
"No, but after some Mai Tais I speak Lime!"
 

Borg

Science Advisor
Gold Member
1,825
2,069
From Gene Weingarten this weekend.
Into a bar walked a lady named Sondra.
Her face was angelic, her body spelled trouble.

She said to the barkeep, "I'll have an entendre,
.. And, come to think of it, make it a double."

No thinker was he -- he was more of a doer.
So the barkeep just smiled ... and then gave it to her.
 

Ibix

Science Advisor
Insights Author
5,129
3,423
I don't see what's funny about that last one...

<cynical>
 
33,010
8,784
A mouth in motion tends to stay in motion unless a saturation force acts on it.
 

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