Collection of Lame Jokes

[davenn]

working from home but missing public transport

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[BillTre]

Lamest of the lame, from some fish friends.

 

[jack action]

What kind of jokes does the WHO recommend right now?

Spoiler: Answer

Inside jokes.

 

[davenn]

 

[Borg]

What kind of jokes does the WHO recommend right now?

Spoiler: Answer

Inside jokes.

On a similar note, the SEC is now encouraging insider trading.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[mfb]

It's fine, they are all older than 14 days anyway, reposted over and over again.

 

[jtbell]

Yesterday I encountered an expert in social distancing:

 

[jack action]

Can we uninstall and reinstall 2020? I think there's a virus.

 

[Borg]

Can we uninstall and reinstall 2020? I think there's a virus.

More like a plague. This is the year of the rat after all.

 

[fresh_42]

More like a plague. This is the year of the rat after all.

How far can a flea jump?

 

[wrobel]

papa may I kiss you?
-- I have no money, your mom has already kissed mepapa why do all my same ages attend fourth grade while I still attend the second grade
-- bring me another vodka from the kitchen son

 

[davenn]

 

[256bits]

papa may I kiss you?
-- I have no money, your mom has already kissed mepapa why do all my same ages attend fourth grade while I still attend the second grade
-- bring me another vodka from the kitchen son

Dysfunctional family jokes.
I think there was a movie about that.

 

[WWGD]

Why do you write 'dark' with a k in the end instead of with a c?
Because you can't c in the dark.

 

[davenn]

How to keep people away from me
Knew my Scottish heritage would come in handy one day

 

[fresh_42]

... water supply companies report a new low. Nobody takes a shower anymore ...

 

[256bits]

I went and got my car tested for the virus.

Yesterday it started hacking and coughing, and began to run a fever.

 

[Keith_McClary]

How to keep people away from me
Knew my Scottish heritage would come in handy one day

View attachment 259349

 

[WWGD]

Why we need to raise standards in college. Overheard:
"Do you know Newton's Second Law?"
"I'm a Science student, not a lawyer!".

 

[Keith_McClary]

 

[Keith_McClary]

https://xkcd.com/2285/

Mouseover: "Oh thank goodness, I forgot my clothes, so now everyone's looking embarrassed and backing away."

 

[Keith_McClary]

Rabbits Against Magic by Jonathan Lemon for March 25, 2020

 

[strangerep]

[Piping the haggis...]

Huh?

I don't get it. Is this a "haggis-and-fishes" miracle whereby that one little dish will feed the hundreds of people in that room?

Or is it that a haggis is more effective at repelling people (compared to bagpipes)?

 

[Keith_McClary]

Or is it that a haggis is more effective at repelling people (compared to bagpipes)?

Haggis and bagpipes combined, although the effect may be countered by the liquid refreshments usually served on this occasion.

 

[256bits]

There was this viral video too.
Reporter got the message.
https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/yellowstone-reporter-reaction-bison-herd-trnd/index.html

 

[jack action]