Collection of Lame Jokes

[jtbell]

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The patient should be a cat.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Halc]

Why are there pyramids in Egypt?

They're too heavy to be shipped to the British Museum

 

[WWGD]

Why are there are pyramids in Egypt?

They're too heavy to be shipped to the British Museum

I don't want to get too heavy on ' Lame', but it seems in many cases the Brits picked up artifacts that were being seriously neglected to the point they were being irreparably damaged so that they would be lost to history. That is part of the reason.

 

[Ibix]

That is part of the reason.

Also, we're superior to everyone else, so we deserve to have them. <Salutes picture of queen, sings Rule Brittania>

 

[WWGD]

Also, we're superior to everyone else, so we deserve to have them. <Salutes picture of queen, sings Rule Brittania>

Id be more likely to agree before I became aware of blood sausages ;).

 

[jack action]

A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned and said: "And you will dialogue."

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[sysprog]

I don't want to get too heavy on ' Lame', but it seems in many cases the Brits picked up artifacts that were being seriously neglected to the point they were being irreparably damaged so that they would be lost to history. That is part of the reason.

I think that's really just a poor excuse for plundering. I attended a lecture in Chicago, delivered by a British Museum curator, about the 'Elgin Marbles', i.e. the large bas-relief scuptures that the British had removed from the Parthenon and taken to England. I talked to him afterward, and said that I was aware of the preservation motivation, but wanted to know if any thought had been given to idea of restoring them to the Parthenon, perhaps subject to an agreement by which the Greek government would safeguard them against deterioration. After trotting out some paternalistic disingenuities about what's best for the Marbles, his final reply to me was a loud and contemptuous "It's booty; you don't give back booty". That seemed more honest to me.

 

[WWGD]

I think that's really just a poor excuse for plundering. I attended a lecture in Chicago, delivered by a British Museum curator, about the 'Elgin Marbles', i.e. the large bas-relief scuptures that the British had removed from the Parthenon and taken to England. I talked to him afterward, and said that I was aware of the preservation motivation, but wanted to know if any thought had been given to idea of restoring them to the Parthenon, perhaps subject to an agreement by which the Greek government would safeguard them against deterioration. After trotting out some paternalistic disingenuities about what's best for the Marbles, his final reply to me was a loud and contemptuous "It's booty; you don't give back booty". That seemed more honest to me.

It may be the case for some objects, not for others. I certainly admit I don't know about the topic in enough depth to fully agree or disagree with you. For the sake of context, I'm not an apologist for colonization( by the West or otherwise).

 

[Ibix]

I think there is genuine concern about how well the Elgin marbles would be cared for in Greece. To what extent that concern is well-founded, I don't know. But the tone of the debate the last time I remember it being openly discussed did suggest to me that jingoism was a strong motivation for us hanging on to them.

 

[sysprog]

It may be the case for some objects, not for others. I certainly admit I don't know about the topic in enough depth to fully agree or disagree with you.

When it's done by force under bitter protest, any purported good motives are ipso facto at best suspect, and the rightful owner isn't wrong to condemn the privation.

 

[WWGD]

When it's done by force under bitter protest, any purported good motives are ipso facto at best suspect, and the rightful owner isn't wrong to condemn the privation.

But several of the rightful owners did not raise the issue until recently.

 

[WWGD]

To avoid derailing PF, I started a conversation with 'Sysprog' at https://www.physicsforums.com/conversations/artifacts-at-british-museums.225653/ , allowing anyone interested in joining in.

 

[phinds]

.. his final reply to me was a loud and contemptuous "It's booty; you don't give back booty". That seemed more honest to me.

Damn right. We stole America from the native indians and we damn well aren't going to give it back. Who is worse, us or the looters of some marble ?

 

[WWGD]

Damn right. We stole America from the native indians and we damn well aren't going to give it back. Who is worse, us or the looters of some marble ?

Just who today lives in the same place they lived 300 years ago? Displacing others is more the rule than the exception.

 

[fresh_42]

But several of the rightful owners did not raise the issue until recently.

What you call a rightful owner was actually in most cases a predatory archaeologist.

 

[jack action]

Your jokes about the British Museum are so lame I don't get them. Here are pros do it:

 

[jtbell]

Did you know some sports teams have squads of pom-pom people on the sidelines who specialize in chanting insults at the opposing team?

They're called jeerleaders.

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 296132​

Some Native Americans might take issue with Harry's question.

 

[Keith_McClary]

We stole America from the native indians and we damn well aren't going to give it back.

But we're giving back some arrowheads and moccasins from museums.

 

[fresh_42]

Damn right. We stole America from the native indians and we damn well aren't going to give it back. Who is worse, us or the looters of some marble ?

I have seen a documentary today about the Ainu people on Hokkaido. At the point when they came to the arrival of the Japanese, I thought: "So? I assume they destroyed them." Some takes later this had been exactly the message. Their culture and language are basically gone now.

Our species always destroys what they find upon arrival.

 

[phinds]

Just who today lives in the same place they lived 300 years ago? Displacing others is more the rule than the exception.

I take it you feel that makes it right, and possibly even makes it morally more OK that stealing some marble.

 

[WWGD]

I take it you feel that makes it right, and possibly even makes it morally more OK that stealing some marble.

No I don't. Just providing context of a different time with different perspectives.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

Why are especially so many women vegetarian, or even vegan? Haven't they ever seen a vegetarian animal?

 

[collinsmark]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[berkeman]

Too bad the cartoonist missed the opportunity to put something clever in that QR code -- my application doesn't see a valid code...

 

[DennisN]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast.

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
'Relax, ' said the night man,
'We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!'

 

[Keith_McClary]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 296246

Mr Escher, Bach's apartment?

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 296264

Well someone's having a heavy floe day...
.

 

[sysprog]

Looks like a vertical output tube is weak and should be replaced.

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 296264

I'll just go with the flow, I guess.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

Weren't they ultimately one-hit wonders?

View attachment 296259

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast.

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
'Relax, ' said the night man,
'We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!'

 

[WWGD]

I guess they were 1-hit wonders. I'm not a music fiend, but I haven't heard of any other of their songs being popular.

 

[fresh_42]

I guess they were 1-hit wonders. I'm not a music fiend, but I haven't heard of any other of their songs being popular.

Lyin’ Eyes, New Kid in Town, Heartache Tonight, Take It Easy, ...

But they all sound like a desperate cry for some pain relievers.

 

[WWGD]

Lyin’ Eyes, New Kid in Town, Heartache Tonight, Take It Easy, ...

But they all sound like a desperate cry for some pain relievers.

True. Sounds like too much drama for my taste

 

[WWGD]

True. Sounds like too much drama for my taste

I like EWF. Like 1,000 people on stage but only 4-5 singing. And catchy tunes with good vibes.