Collection of Lame Jokes

256bits

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Heard this on the radio.
Sloth called the police with a complaint of being assaulted by three turtles.
When asked if he could give a detailed description of the perpetrators, Sloth replied,
"Oh, not really. It all happened so fast."
 

Klystron

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And the oven asked the refrigerator, "Why are you always so cold to me?".
And the refrigerator responded, "Because you're just not hot enough for me!"
"That is so deep.", Responded the sink. "You make me wet."

"Shocking!", exclaimed the circuit breaker.

"Shut it!", countered the sink, "You're always tripping.".
 
33,239
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It's just a phase.
 
33,239
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That's why it takes a life.

(But I think the common notation has the dagger on the raising operator)
 

Ibix

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(But I think the common notation has the dagger on the raising operator)
So it's a conventional dagger, like conventional current?
 
Why was the boy's aunty solipsistic?
Answer: Because the boy himself was ANTI-SOLIPSISTIC.
 
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An unidentified thief from within our company stole the thesaurus from our library. We are taken aback, stunned, stupefied, confused, flabbergasted and bewildered how someone could do this.
 

Borg

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A farmer, desperately in need of rain for his crops had been looking forward to a predicted storm. However, when the storm was supposed to arrive, there was nothing more than fog. The farmer yelled at the cloud, "You were supposed to be rain! Didn't you get the memo?" The fog replied back, "Mist that".
 
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The farmer should have performed a rain dance. They are surprisingly effective: A 100% success rate! And they are so easy to do as well. You dance until it rains.
 

Ibix

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The farmer should have performed a rain dance. They are surprisingly effective: A 100% success rate! And they are so easy to do as well. You dance until it rains.
It's like my elephant-repellant powder that I scatter around the house every day. No elephant comes near the place.
 

fresh_42

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The farmer should have performed a rain dance. They are surprisingly effective: A 100% success rate! And they are so easy to do as well. You dance until it rains.
It might exceed lifetime to achieve 100%: Atacama.
 

Ibix

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It might exceed lifetime to achieve 100%: Atacama.
Maybe the Atacama is dry because of all the people doing rain dances everywhere else pulling the rain away. I mean, the vast majority of humans live where there's reasonably ready access to water. That can't be a coincidence.
 

256bits

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The farmer should have performed a rain dance. They are surprisingly effective: A 100% success rate! And they are so easy to do as well. You dance until it rains.
Just waiting and waiting for a reason to play this song.
 

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