Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #721
FlexGunship said:
Do you think Wikileaks knows Victoria's Secret?

You mean like leaking/diapers? :bugeye:
 
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  • #722
FlexGunship said:
Do you think Wikileaks knows Victoria's Secret?

Yes, but Victoria doesn't realize it - she was sleeping at the time.
 
  • #723
@DA & LisaB: :smile:
 
  • #724
lisab said:
Yes, but Victoria doesn't realize it - she was sleeping at the time.

With her diapers on..?:rolleyes:?:bugeye:?
 
  • #725
DevilsAvocado said:
With her diapers on..?:rolleyes:?:bugeye:?

Well... better in a diaper than a bed I suppose...

Where's that "vomiting" smiley when I need it?! :wink:
 
  • #726
ewwww vomit!
 
  • #727

THAT'S the one; thanks DA. :biggrin:
 
  • #728
nismaratwork said:
THAT'S the one; thanks DA. :biggrin:

I do anything for you honey!:biggrin:
 
  • #729
Last night I got a fortune cookie that said "Now is the time to get in touch with your feminine side".

I asked my wife what she thought, but she was against the idea. I whine and complain too much already.
 
  • #730
:smile:

Last night Sarah Palin got a fortune cookie that said "Now is the time to get in touch with your masculine side".

Sarah asked her husband Todd what he thought, but he was against the idea and said: – Honey, you’ve already got that prefect mix of brutality and violence.
 
  • #731
DevilsAvocado said:
:smile:

Last night Sarah Palin got a fortune cookie that said "Now is the time to get in touch with your masculine side".

Sarah asked her husband Todd what he thought, but he was against the idea and said: – Honey, you’ve already got that prefect mix of brutality and violence.

:smile:
 
  • #732
:wink:
 
  • #733
FlexGunship said:
Guy goes to the bar and has a little too much to drink. In his drunken stupor he inadvertently pukes all over his own shirt.

He walks up to the bartender and slurs: "Ugh, umma ded man! When muh wife seez dis, sheez gunna kill me!"

The bartender says: "No, she won't. Listen, pal, do you have ten dollars?"

Guy says: "Yuh, fur wat?"

Bartender says: "Go home, tell her some guy at the bar got too drunk and puked on your shirt and he gave you ten bucks to get it dry cleaned."

Guy say: "Yura geenyus! Dat'll werk purfektly!"

So the guy goes home, and his wife is instantly livid! She yells: "For the love of-- What happened to your shirt?"

Guy, still a little drunk, says: "Well, some bozo at duh bar got a little too drunk, an' he puked on muh shirt! He gave me ten bucks to get it cleaned."

The wife looks at him and says: "This is a twenty."

Guy says: "Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention... he also crapped in my pants."

Okay, I laughed out loud.
 
  • #734
lisab said:
Yes, but Victoria doesn't realize it - she was sleeping at the time.

Ok, you may have issues, although you may not be regretting them. I dunno, you tell us. Or not. (shrugs)

In the meantime...
 
  • #735
DevilsAvocado said:
:smile:

Last night Sarah Palin got a fortune cookie that said "Now is the time to get in touch with your masculine side".

Sarah asked her husband Todd what he thought, but he was against the idea and said: – Honey, you’ve already got that prefect mix of brutality and violence.

She might actually agree with you!

I think she'd be gentle, though. :)
 
  • #736
Q. How many people with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Hey, want to go for a bike ride?
 
  • #737
A wife walks up to her husband and says: "I want a divorce; I'm going to become a hooker. I just found out I can get paid $400 for what I give to you for free!"

The husband responds: "Well, I'm coming with you, I want to see you live off of $800 a year."
 
  • #738
A brunette, a blonde, and a red-head are in 3rd grade. Who has the biggest boobs?

The blond; she's 18.
 
  • #739
Taking a big risk on this one! Please don't hate me, girls/women! It's just a joke!

Did you know beer has female hormones in it? Yeah, if you drink enough of it you start spouting emotional gibberish, you complain a lot, you don't understand complex things, and you drive really poorly.<awaits the flame>
 
  • #740
flexgunship said:
taking a big risk on this one! Please don't hate me, girls/women! It's just a joke!

Did you know beer has female hormones in it? Yeah, if you drink enough of it you start spouting emotional gibberish, you complain a lot, you don't understand complex things, and you drive really poorly.


<awaits the flame>

...man overboard...
 
  • #741
WhoWee said:
...man overboard...

[URL]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v172/aujourdhui/GIFs/cookiemonster.gif[/URL]
 
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  • #742
WhoWee said:
...man overboard...

[URL]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v172/aujourdhui/GIFs/cookiemonster.gif[/URL]
 
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  • #743
FlexGunship said:
Taking a big risk on this one! Please don't hate me, girls/women! It's just a joke!

Did you know beer has female hormones in it? Yeah, if you drink enough of it you start spouting emotional gibberish, you complain a lot, you don't understand complex things, and you drive really poorly.


<awaits the flame>
I laughed. Also, the cookie monster wins!
 
  • #744
Lancelot59 said:
I laughed. Also, the cookie monster wins!

Good, I was afraid I did something wrong... like this guy...

[URL]http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/510511/gatoradehockey_medium.gif[/URL]
 
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  • #745
FlexGunship said:
Good, I was afraid I did something wrong... like this guy...

[URL]http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/510511/gatoradehockey_medium.gif
[/URL]

Don't start feeling safe yet. None of the women have commented yet.
 
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  • #746
Lancelot59 said:
Don't start feeling safe yet. None of the women have commented yet.

Uh oh...

[URL]http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r143/v_happylurker21/GIF%20and%20Macros/ray.gif[/URL]

Sorry, that's the last one. I'm getting bandwidth heavy on you 1992-vintage 28k modem users!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #747
Gokul43201 said:
Rudi looks out the window of his Moscow apartment and says to his wife "Honey ! It's going to rain." The wife disagrees, on account of the bright sun and no clouds. Nevertheless, it starts to pour in a few minutes. The baffled wife askes Rudi how he knew.

Comes the reply, "Rudolf, the Red knows rain, dear !"

The version of this joke that I know dates to before the fall of the Berlin Wall and the Iron Curtain. The guy lived in West Berlin but always watched the weather forecast on East German TV, delivered by a reporter named Rudolf.
 
  • #748
Ted_Stryker_drinking_problem.gif


Many people have oral issues, and especially... the dreaded drinking problem.
 

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  • #749
nismaratwork said:
Ted_Stryker_drinking_problem.gif


Many people have oral issues, and especially... the dreaded drinking problem.

gif-1.gif
 
  • #750
reaps the wonders of grain, **** Mountain Dew all hail Dr P
 

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