Collection of Lame Jokes

WWGD

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And now a joke to use if you want to insult someone:

How many physics experts does it take to change a lightbulb?
You don't know? I didn't think you would!
Maybe you can continue :Everyone else knew but you. Wonder why.
Probably not included in "How to make friends and influence people".
 

Ibix

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How many red jerseys does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three! The first dies from the short circuit he causes while trying. The second dies falling off the ladder, and the third does the job. But he wore a blue jersey.
I read a short story years ago about a redshirt who's noticed what happens to redshirts and flat refuses to leave the ship until he's given a blue shirt. He's so pleased with it that it isn't until the transporter is being activated that he realises Spock is wearing red and all his mates are in blue...

Babylon 5 straight up made a joke out of it in the TV series itself. The security insignia was a bullseye, and all the security troops wore it prominently on the left breast of their uniform. And the security chief was called Garibaldi - named after Giuseppe Garibaldi, an Italian leader whose volunteers did actually wear red shirts.
 

Ibix

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Are we sure the 1080p has the correct number of "p"?
Good spot - there are 22 rows of 47 plus the final row, which should be length 46 (since 23×47=1081) but clearly isn't.
 

Ibix

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Did you hear about the successful band leader who murdered someone? He got the chair, but wouldn't die. Turns out he was a good conductor.
 

WWGD

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My dog was born without a nose.
How does he smell?
Horrible!
 
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"Could you remind me what the Japanese particle for possessives is?"
"の"
"Why not?"

Also:
A nation's navy employs mermaids to distract personnel of an invading force. They grant the nation time to evacuate civilians from coastal cities and towns. These are the Civil Defense Sirens.
 

WWGD

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"Could you remind me what the Japanese particle for possessives is?"
"の"
"Why not?"

Also:
A nation's navy employs mermaids to distract personnel of an invading force. They grant the nation time to evacuate civilians from coastal cities and towns. These are the Civil Defense Sirens.
Sofa so good.
 
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I don't like eating meats like liver, intestine, or other internal organs. They're offal.
 

WWGD

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  • Haha
Reactions: mfb

WWGD

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What's your name?
Steve.
Is that short for something?
Yes, Steve ##+ \epsilon##.
 

WWGD

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When I go to a fancy place with a wine list I always ask with a straight face if they have my favorite, Cau Manuer( With French accent). Hope they never answer yes, or I am walking out on the spot.
 

Ibix

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When I go to a fancy place with a wine list I always ask with a straight face if they have my favorite, Cau Manuer( With French accent). Hope they never answer yes, or I am walking out on the spot.
I call BS on that story...
 

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