Collection of Lame Jokes

[phinds]

View attachment 302384

I see what you did there and I'm not happy about it. Now if *I* had come up with it, it would be hilarious.

 

[fresh_42]

What is it?

Spoiler

earworm from the bass player

 

[Ibix]

What is it?

Jingle Bells played as a funeral march.

 

[pinball1970]

Jingle Bells played as a funeral march.

Where? When?

 

[Ibix]

Where? When?

I've no idea who'd do it, but that's what came to mind when I whistled what fresh posted.

 

[fresh_42]

I've no idea who'd do it, but that's what came to mind when I whistled what fresh posted.

Do we have a member with an absolute pitch?

I always failed to figure out that very first note at the beginning (whistle/flute):

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DaveC426913]

I've no idea who'd do it, but that's what came to mind when I whistled what fresh posted.

You have an ear for this. I'd say you nailed it. It's a dirge.

 

[WWGD]

How about you try whistling this:

 

[WWGD]

Strange I used to be able to whistle, but not anymore. Same motion but barely any sound comes out.

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 302353

My on that post is actually from my wife, who has a PhD in German.

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ibix]

Some of them want a bleu cheese
Some of them want to be a bleu

 

[Ibix]

How about you try whistling this:View attachment 302418

Play a few bars on the harmonica first.

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

No matter how sad you are
there always burns a light for you
in the fridge!

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DrClaude]

View attachment 302455

Who dares call Dr Brian May an "amateur" astrophysicist?

 

[WWGD]

Who dares call Dr Brian May an "amateur" astrophysicist?

I guess the same person who calls Frederick Mercury a physicist.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

View attachment 302571

Well said.

I remember a movie where Bruce Willis, I think it was, is being held at gunpoint by the bad guys who threaten to torture him. He says something like "Ah, jeez, your not going to make me listen to rap music are you?".

 

[fresh_42]

Well said.

I remember a movie where Bruce Willis, I think it was, is being held at gunpoint by the bad guys who threaten to torture him. He says something like "Ah, jeez, your not going to make me listen to rap music are you?".

I remember a similar scene with Willis about Funk in 'The Last Boy Scout'.

 

[phinds]

I remember a similar scene with Willis about Funk in 'The Last Boy Scout'.

Well, maybe that was it. I remembered rap but my memory isn't what it used to be (see note below)

NOTE: My memory never was what it used to be.

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[WWGD]

Well, maybe that was it. I remembered rap but my memory isn't what it used to be (see note below)

NOTE: My memory never was what it used to be.

Nostalgia is not what it used to be!

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 302571

I guess Will Smith is not like scissors.

 

[fresh_42]

I guess Will Smith is not like scissors.

They all lose to Lemmy!

 

[WWGD]

They all lose to Lemmy!

Lemmy punch him in the face.

 

[gmax137]

NOTE: My memory never was what it used to be.

I saw this just today:

I find these days that most of my conversations start out with, "Did I tell you this already" or "What was I going to say"

 

[WWGD]

I saw this just today:

Or maybe it's just Deja Vu all over again.

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

Today's generation mocks their own parents because they don't know the latest technology, but ask Google how to boil an egg.

 

[strangerep]

... you need to pay...

That one took me a while...

 

[strangerep]

... Isaac Newton invented calculus during the plague...

It's amazing how much you can get done when no one's interrupting you, and there's just a deathly silence all around. I got more done than usual during the COVID lockdowns...

[Too soon?]

 

[WWGD]

It's amazing how much you can get done when no one's interrupting you, and there's just a deathly silence all around. I got more done than usual during the COVID lockdowns...

[Too soon?]

And during his time, true isolation. No internet, social media, and he lived physically far away from everyone, closest neighbor living many miles away. I wonder how he obtained basic living supplies for himself.

 

[Borg]

Probably taken care of by essential workers.

 

[sbrothy]

The search for (shi**y) enlightenment.