Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

Numbers? This is what happens when you stick a pithy Latin phrase in front of a mathematician.
I was going for the, Quidquid latine dictum, altum videtur concept.

That's why I said changing fonts is not funny on Klingon!

 

[pinball1970]

That's why I said changing fonts is not funny on Klingon!

Oh dash it!
How many times have I been made to look like an idiot because of Klingon?
I feel like a fool. Again.

 

[DennisN]

For the record, I personally don't dislike those fonts as much as they are described on the pages I posted. I just think some quotes are funny.

 

[fresh_42]

Oh dash it!
How many times have I been made to look like an idiot because of Klingon?
I feel like a fool. Again.

Here is the solution:
https://www.translator.eu/

Ok, I also installed Klingon fonts once.

 

[pinball1970]

Ok, I also installed Klingon fonts once.
[/QUOTE]
Your English is better than my German and my Hungarian is a lot worse than I thought it was.
My Klingon? I would rather move on from that.

 

[Ibix]

The story I read about Klingon is that the language was created for Star Trek VI, consistent with bits and pieces that had been spoken before. Just for laughs, the guy who created it gave it no verb "to be", wrote a dictionary, and went to see Nick Meyer, the director. Star Trek VI, you may recall, is the one with the Klingons who love Shakespeare - so the first thing Meyer asks is "how do you say 'to be, or not to be' In Klingon?"

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Borg]

She might not be so happy if she knew what was going on below deck.

 

[Jodo]

Accordion to a scientific study released by the Department of Psychology at the University of British Columbia,​

most people will not immediately notice if one of the words in a sentence has been replaced with a musical instrument until they've read more than three quarters of the way through it.

 

[Baluncore]

most people will not immediately notice if one of the words in a sentence has been replaced with a musical instrument until they've read more than three quarters of the way through it.

When I listen, I do not immediately notice the beeps that hide the emphasis, or most interesting parts of speech.
But if I said that you had violin well get that job done; would you notice.

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[fresh_42]

When I was a kid, I thought a lot of adults were pretty stupid. Now I'm an adult myself and I have to say: I was right!

 

[WWGD]

Reggie Jackson driving against traffic is stopped by a cop.

Cop:" Don't you know this is a one-way street?"
Reggie: " I'm only going one way!".

 

[pinball1970]

When I was a kid, I thought a lot of adults were pretty stupid. Now I'm an adult myself and I have to say: I was right!

Yeah but Fresh come on man.
How many people have that thing? Or have studied? To that level?
It is your job to drag us kicking and screaming through this.

I will have some sort of a grip before I die. Otherwise, what's the point?

 

[fresh_42]

Yeah but Fresh come on man.
How many people have that thing? Or have studied? To that level?
It is your job to drag us kicking and screaming through this.

I will have some sort of a grip before I die. Otherwise, what's the point?

Lost in translation. The German word was "doof" which is not really "stupid" and describes it in a more childish way. It is also self-criticism rather than pointing at others.

 

[gmax137]

I will have some sort of a grip before I die. Otherwise, what's the point?

I'm not sure what this means.

a firm hold; a tight grasp or clasp
an effective form of control over something
a part or attachment by which something is held in the hand

I think "grip" also means influenza in German

either way, I'm lost in translation!

 

[jbriggs444]

I'm not sure what this means.

a firm hold; a tight grasp or clasp
an effective form of control over something
a part or attachment by which something is held in the hand

In the vernacular in the U.S. and, apparently, in the U.K., "get a grip" means to gain control of one's mind -- not taking wildly irrational actions and not having wildly irrational thoughts.

Kind of a "snap out of it and start dealing with the situation at hand".

 

[OCR]

Lol. . .

I‘m willing to bet you $1,000…

.

 

[jtbell]

Looks like Rory tried so hard for another birdie, he became one himself!

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[pinball1970]

I'm not sure what this means.

a firm hold; a tight grasp or clasp
an effective form of control over something
a part or attachment by which something is held in the hand

I think "grip" also means influenza in German

either way, I'm lost in translation!

Apologies.
This means trying to understand something in this context.

“I need to get to grips with this new system.”

To get a grip of oneself means to pull oneself together. A little bit vague, calm down relax and control yourself.
The Stranglers did a great track called “Get a grip on yourself,” 1977
I read the lyrics but I don’t think they would illuminate anything, not sure I understand them.
Rock and roll is cool but don’t expect to make money?

 

[DennisN]

 

[phinds]

Too true:

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 304368

Greece:

Turkey:

There must be more …

 

[fresh_42]

Wales

 

[Orodruin]

Wales

View attachment 304371

Technically depicting the singular of the noun but point taken

 

[fresh_42]

Technically depicting the singular of the noun but point taken

Does oysteralia count? (... duck and cover)

 

[Orodruin]

Chile I guess

 

[Orodruin]

Heard in Spanish class in Ottawa:
- I feel I am not learning correctly.
- Me too. I Can nada!

 

[fresh_42]

Brasil:

 

[fresh_42]

Cuba:

 

[fresh_42]

New Jersey

 

[Orodruin]

Grenada

 

[fresh_42]

Norway:

 

[jbriggs444]

Iraq

 

[Orodruin]

Iraq
View attachment 304380

Reminds me of a classic

 

[fresh_42]

Germany:

 

[strangerep]

Wales

View attachment 304371

... reminds me of this

 

[WWGD]

Apologies.
This means trying to understand something in this context.

“I need to get to grips with this new system.”

To get a grip of oneself means to pull oneself together. A little bit vague, calm down relax and control yourself.
The Stranglers did a great track called “Get a grip on yourself,” 1977
I read the lyrics but I don’t think they would illuminate anything, not sure I understand them.
Rock and roll is cool but don’t expect to make money?

Maybe related is the Eagles' line " Get Over it"?

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

There must be more …

France

(Image source)

 

[Bandersnatch]

France
View attachment 304420
(Image source)

France is bacon.

 

[Bandersnatch]

View attachment 304414

There's even more depth to it. As can be seen, He He He did get some reactions. This is, clearly, depicting triple alpha fusion process. We'll leave it as an exercise for the students to calculate the conditions necessary for 10.3k such reactions to occur within 8 hours.

 

[DennisN]

There must be more …

Hungary:

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Orodruin]

Hungary:
View attachment 304431

Hey, I actually knew that one from before ...