Collection of Lame Jokes

Ibix · Jul 26, 2022

My school magazine once had a list of excuses for not handing in your homework, allegedly tested on various teachers known to have a sense of humour. The only one that they claimed had worked was "I'd just finished my homework when terrorists burst into the house and demanded I hand over my homework or my sister. Naturally I gave them the little brat, but while I was distracted the dog ate my homework."

OCR · Jul 27, 2022

phinds said:

I actually had to stop and think about this one

Lol. . .

I got it right away.

.

pinball1970 · Jul 27, 2022

phinds said:

I actually had to stop and think about this one
View attachment 304843

I got there in the end

berkeman · Jul 27, 2022

phinds said:

I actually had to stop and think about this one

Well, since phinds is, well, a dog, and he often sends the Mentors reports about misplaced homework threads (including Mentor fresh_42), my mind went somewhere else at first.

But I got there in the end too.

fresh_42 · Jul 27, 2022

berkeman said:

Well, since phinds is, well, a dog, and he often sends the Mentors reports about misplaced homework threads (including Mentor fresh_42), my mind went somewhere else at first.

But I got there in the end too.

Ît is far more likely that my goat

eats homework than any dog!

WWGD · Jul 29, 2022

Orodruin · Jul 29, 2022

Yes, why? What could possibly go wrong?

DennisN · Jul 30, 2022

Early joy killing:

fresh_42 · Jul 30, 2022

DennisN said:

Early joy killing:

View attachment 305059

McCoy: The bureaucratic mentality is the only constant in the universe. [ST-IV, The Voyage Home]

BillTre · Jul 30, 2022

Screen Shot 2022-07-30 at 7.00.51 AM.png

Bystander · Jul 30, 2022

BillTre said:

View attachment 305062

Huh?

berkeman · Jul 30, 2022

Bystander said:

Huh?

Hillbilly gate latch and lock...

BillTre · Jul 30, 2022

Bystander said:

Huh?

Alternative locking system.

fresh_42 · Jul 30, 2022

BillTre said:

Alternative locking system.

But why is it funny? It makes perfect sense to me.

fresh_42 · Jul 30, 2022

My grandma always said: "You can be stupid, you just have to know how to help yourself."

berkeman · Jul 30, 2022

fresh_42 said:

But why is it funny? It makes perfect sense to me.

That's because your analytical mind goes straight to the topological considerations of the geometry...

fresh_42 · Jul 30, 2022

berkeman said:

That's because your analytical mind goes straight to the topological considerations of the geometry...

And my second thought was that the shadows might harbor a joke, but I couldn't find one either.

Bystander · Jul 30, 2022

"Next."

berkeman · Jul 30, 2022

Bystander said:

"Next."

Okie dokie...

https://www.demilked.com/funny-redneck-engineering/

fresh_42 · Jul 30, 2022

They tried everything, but there was no alternative to Huskeys:

Nd9GcTjYqkAmHpb46eX-mlwVfPHuR76J7aqdA6WaQ&usqp=CAU.jpg

Bystander · Jul 30, 2022

berkeman said:

Okie dokie...

View attachment 305064
https://www.demilked.com/funny-redneck-engineering/

fresh_42 said:

They tried everything, but there was no alternative to Huskeys:

View attachment 305065

"Snakes don't really die until sunset, but c'mon, guys, the HORSE stopped twitching three posts back..."

Ibix · Jul 30, 2022

BillTre said:

View attachment 305062

When the only tool you have is a hammer, all problems look like a nail. But when the only tool you have is a spanner it appears there's a bit of wiggle room in problem solving...

Ibix · Jul 30, 2022

fresh_42 said:

But why is it funny? It makes perfect sense to me.

At risk of further flogging that dead horse, I actually spent a few minutes thinking about the answer to this. I have read (I think in The Naked Jape by Jimmy Carr and Lucy Greeves) that most humour seems to work on a "two stories" model. So even a groaner like "what do you do if you see a spaceman? Park in it, man!" has two stories - one about meeting an alien and one about parking a car - and the humour comes from being forced to re-evaluate which story you're looking at.

The stories in that picture are "what on Earth are they doing with that spanner?!" and "ingenious solution to a problem with (presumably) limited resources". If you miss out either of those reactions it isn't funny. I saw the spanner and the padlock, but it took me a second or two to mentally shove the spanner left and right and work out that it does work, and the chuckle came then.

Jimmy Carr also commented that he'd heard analysing jokes as being like dissecting a frog: nobody's that interested and the frog dies. So I'll shut up now.