Collection of Lame Jokes

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in keeping with the season ...

so empty inside.jpg
 
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etotheipi said:
I think I've told this before, but one of the most depressing Christmas experiences I've had was going into a nearly deserted shopping centre where the sound system was playing "Last Christmas", only the recording had stuck and it was just repeating
Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next d
Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next d
Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next d
...


(To get this on topic for Lame Jokes - I think somebody needed to give the CD player a Wham!)
 
WWGD said:
Bears hardly ever eat joggers*. Cougars, maybe.
With bears, just tell them to go away, while taking selfie:


*A study by Stephen Herrero, an ecology professor at the University of Calgary, found 56 people have been killed by predacious black bears since 1900 in all of North America.
 
Last edited:
This is irrelevant information. The decisive question is, whether it was made with poison instead!
 
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jack action said:
love is poison
Is that an = relation or a ##\subset## relation?
Are love and poison the same thing, and therefore the sandwich is safe, or is love a subset of all poisons, and we are still unsure?
 
Doesn't the dose make the poison? What's the LD50? I can't find it in Masha's thesis.
 
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mfb said:
Is that an = relation or a ##\subset## relation?
Are love and poison the same thing, and therefore the sandwich is safe, or is love a subset of all poisons, and we are still unsure?
You are save: "The use of synthetic oxytocin as a medication can result in excessive contraction of the uterus that can risk the health of the baby."
 
Dick the bartender worked at the tavern across the street from the hospital. One of his lunchtime "regulars" was a doctor who always had a daiquiri, garnished with crushed almonds.

One day, Dick saw the doctor crossing the street, and proceeded to set up his drink. Alas, his bowl of almonds was empty! So he decided to try some hickory nuts instead.

The doctor took a sip and frowned.

"Is that an almond daiquiri, Dick?"

"No... it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."

And the clock struck one...
 
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Some people have difficulties sleeping, but I can do it with my eyes closed.
 
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OK, the 2020 presidential election has gotten dangerous. I mean, I've always heard that you are supposed to seek medical help if your election lasts for more than four HOURS and it's been days now.
 
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phinds said:
OK, the 2020 presidential election has gotten dangerous. I mean, I've always heard that you are supposed to seek medical help if your election lasts for more than four HOURS and it's been days now.
There is also this:

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(404 "not found" and 403 "forbidden" are common HTML error codes)
 
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