Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

 

[phinds]

 

[nsaspook]

https://www.theonion.com/man-who-lost-everything-in-crypto-just-wishes-several-t-1848764551
Man Who Lost Everything In Crypto Just Wishes Several Thousand More People Had Warned Him

Saying he had been absolutely blindsided by the sudden change in his fortunes, local 33-year-old Tyler Branton, a man who lost everything in cryptocurrencies, told reporters Thursday that he just wished several thousand more people had warned him.

Things to say to that guy.

“Well, when you think about it, real money is fake too.”

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

Big books from Archives of Prague Castle:

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[256bits]

View attachment 317636

Why the sad face?
Conscientious parents are saving the world for you kid.

A vegetable lego set.
You can eat your jummy construction.
Colorful and exciting...
Biodegradable - all natural, and green to the environment.

they just have to market it right.
Every child in mind will want a set.

I have actually bought a few sets myself.

 

[BillTre]

Packaging (plastic) could be improved upon however.

 

[DrGreg]

Everyone who said Page 404 cannot be found was wrong. Look at the bottom of this page...

Yes, I know "Page 404 cannot be found" is a misquote. It should really be "Error 404: Page cannot be found", or more-user-friendly words to that effect. But this is a lame joke thread.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[phinds]

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one:
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

 

[Ibix]

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one:

And we wooden want bad language.

 

[gmax137]

View attachment 317615

I went to a cocktail party where one of the couples said "we will bring fish & chips." What they brought was a mix of Goldfish crackers and potato chips.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[davenn]

Don't forget to turn your bathroom scales back 15 pounds tonight at 1AM for Thanksgiving.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[fresh_42]

I have experienced that!

 

[WWGD]

If I quote one of my previous posts from a post in Lame Jokes, I will be regressing to the meme.

 

[FranzS]

My grandpa has the heart of a lion...
and a permanent ban from the zoo.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[Borek]

Black Friday, anyone?

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Swamp Thing]

View attachment 317349

Oversight : Watchful care or supervision, OR.. error of omission

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

Seems legit.

 

[DennisN]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

How can you eat with that?

 

[dextercioby]

Punk's not dead.

 

[phinds]

WHEN THE TROUBLE STARTED:

While we were in bed, my wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire I turned to her and said "would you like to have sex?" She said "no" so I asked her "Is that your final answer?". She said "yes" so I said "I'd like to phone a friend." And that's ...

My wife and I were at a restaurant. Since my wife was still looking at her menu the waiter asked me first what I would like. I said I'd like to have the rib steak, raw. He asked me if I wasn't worried about mad cow and I said no, she can order for herself. And that's when ...

My wife and I were at her high school reunion and she kept staring at a drunk who was sitting alone at the next table. I asked here what the deal was with him and she explained that he was her boyfriend in high school and that when she broke it off with him he got drunk and she had heard that he had stayed drunk ever since. Wow, I said, who whould have thought that someone could celebrate constantly for so long? And that's when ...

My wife sat down next to me as I was watching TV and she asked what was on the TV. Dust, I said. And that's when ...

My wife was in the bedroom naked, looking at herself in the full length mirror and she said that she felt dumpy and ugly and really needed me to give her a compliment. You're eyesight is really good, I said. And that's when ...

I rear-ended a car today, as the start of a really bad day. The guy in the other car got out and he was a dwarf. He gave me a stern look and said "I am NOT happy". I said, "So, which one are you?" And that's when ...

 

[DennisN]

How can you eat with that?

View attachment 317795

It was an elephantastic joke!

 

[DennisN]

Some signs in Chinglish to lighten up the day...

 

[DrClaude]

View attachment 317775

It's still storing those numbers...