Collection of Lame Jokes

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From my job a while back:

" How many items did you check"?

Me: " A lot"

No, really, how many?

Me: " A whole Lot".

Ok, wise guy, just go on!
 
Physics news on Phys.org
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Getting a burger from the take out window without a car:
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fresh_42 said:
Sometimes? I never figured out how it can be read.
Better read then dead. Or was it the other way around?
 
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I know a guy with one leg called Dave...
I'm not sure what the other leg's called...
 
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fresh_42 said:
Sometimes? I never figured out how it can be read.
When I try to understand how I can read this, I feel that can not read it anymore :)
The word means "you will be deprived"
 
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wrobel said:
When I try to understand how I can read this, I feel that can not read it anymore :)
The word means "you will be deprived"
It always looks to me as a never ending string of u, w, n, and m, if you are lucky some l or p in between.

For those who want to have a look: https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyrillisches_Alphabet#Russisch
(cursive version in the first column)
 
wrobel said:
When I try to understand how I can read this, I feel that can not read it anymore :)
I often have this feeling when I try to analyse something I can do without thinking. Pro tip: don't absent mindedly start wondering how your own legs work while you are hurrying down stairs. I spent a panicked half second convincing myself I really did know how to walk...
 
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I took a course in Russian (for science reading), but I don't remember it as cursive.
Wow!

Some of it is quite different from the printed form and many of the individual characters seem similar to each other.
Worse when they are strung together I would guess!
 
BillTre said:
I don't remember it as cursive.
I remember my Russian teacher commenting that the "hand writing" in our text was fake and we weren't ready for real Cyrillic handwriting yet. I see what he meant now.
 
Pull the other one. No one could possibly be THAT stupid.
 
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So I've got an ear worm courtesy of the poor dead whale.

For the first tims in history
It's going to start rainin' whale

It's rainin' whale! Hallelujah!
It's rainin' whale! Amen!

Etcetera.
 
wrobel said:
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Not just Russian...
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There is an actor called Christian Slater. Would be nice if he made a movie with someone called Mo Slimsnau...( Mo Slimsnau and Christian Slater).