Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

That one took me a few moments...

Time you'll never get back ;).

I'll spare you the story of the gay shah and the geisha.

 

[256bits]

There is an actor called Christian Slater. Would be nice if he made a movie with someone called Mo Slimsnau...( Mo Slimsnau and Christian Slater).

What's a "snau"?

 

[WWGD]

What's a "snau"?

Just a stretch/made up term so I can say " Muslims Now and Christians Latter". Anything for a bizarre bad pun ;).

 

[256bits]

Just a stretch/made up term so I can say " Muslims Now and Christians Latter". Anything for a bizarre bad pun ;).

Oh I thought it might be an endearing term for Mr. Snuffleupagus from his wife as she coos in his ear before they retire for the night.

 

[Ibix]

Me: <looks both ways, goes into dark alley, raps sharply on unmarked door>
Doorman: <opens slit in door, looks out suspiciously> Say the password.
Me: The password.
Doorman: Welcome to the Lame Joke Club, Sir.

(Intriguingly, also works for gaining entry to the Mines of Moria.)

 

[jack action]

 

[256bits]

Sounds like a good name for a drink.
Judge walks into a bar.
Bartender:What'l you have.
Judge: A maximum Sentence.
Linguistic: A maximum Sentence
English Teacher: A maximum Sentence
Bartender: Concurrently, or consequently served?

 

[fresh_42]

Judge walks into a bar.
Bartender:What'l you have.
Judge: A maximum Sentence.
Bartender: Sit down, it'll take a while.
Judge (after hours of waiting): What's your name?
Bartender: Chomsky.

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[256bits]

that girl looking into the car - I bet her fates hurt from too much street walking in those shoes.
tourist tip - wear suitable footwear when exploring the city sights.

 

[phinds]

 

[WWGD]

 

[phinds]

 

[Keith_McClary]

View attachment 272908

If you like that, see James Fridman.

 

[fresh_42]

Customer: "Are the $2,000 on my account plus or minus?"
Bank clerk: "Am I an electrician?"

 

[DrGreg]

Customer: "Are the $2,000 on my account plus or minus?"
Bank clerk: "Am I an electrician?"

Is that a current account?

 

[WWGD]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[davenn]

 

[phinds]

Took me a while on that one.

 

[davenn]

another on the same theme ...

 

[davenn]

Took me a while on that one.

when is turkey day ? 24 ?

so tuesday this year

 

[Keith_McClary]

Which of these two Bizarro Potato Head cartoon versions do you think is funnier?

 

[Ibix]

I agree with the cartoonist - the speech bubble coming from Mr, not Mrs, is funnier. I'm really surprised that people didn't even get it, because my immediate reaction to the first one (before I saw the second) was to think it'd make more sense for him to be saying it.

 

[jbriggs444]

when is turkey day ? 24 ?

Google links to https://www.archives.gov/legislative/features/thanksgiving:

On October 6, 1941, the House passed a joint resolution declaring the last Thursday in November to be the legal Thanksgiving Day. The Senate, however, amended the resolution establishing the holiday as the fourth Thursday, which would take into account those years when November has five Thursdays.

 

[DrGreg]

Google links to https://www.archives.gov/legislative/features/thanksgiving:

On October 6, 1941, the House passed a joint resolution declaring the last Thursday in November to be the legal Thanksgiving Day. The Senate, however, amended the resolution establishing the holiday as the fourth Thursday, which would take into account those years when November has five Thursdays.

Those of us who live outside the US associate turkeys with 25 December, not the day before Black Friday.

 

[fresh_42]

Those of us who live outside the US associate turkeys with 25 December, not the day before Black Friday.

I associate Döner Kebabs. Turkey is only eaten by those on their way to become vegan. We eat geese.