Collection of Lame Jokes

[dextercioby]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 318898

Don't make me tell the one about Noah and the adders again...

 

[gmax137]

Don't make me tell the one about Noah and the adders again...

Oh go ahead, that one never gets old

 

[Ibix]

Oh go ahead, that one never gets old

As opinion seems to be divided (going by phinds' reaction), I'll just provide a reference.

 

[gmax137]

Thanks, I had forgotten the part about the table

 

[nuuskur]

Hey I'm stuck! Wait - wHaT ArE yOu dOiNg stepladder?

View attachment 318825

am I stupid or..?

 

[DaveC426913]

am I stupid or..?

It's a meme going around. A naughty one. "What are you doing stepbrother!?"

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DrClaude]

View attachment 318930

Poultrygea?

 

[dextercioby]

Only the chosen ones will get this one:

 

[phinds]

 

[WWGD]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[DennisN]

I'm not sure I want to eat here...

 

[BillTre]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[davenn]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[phinds]

 

[Ibix]

This one took me a few moments to get.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[pinball1970]

This one took me a few moments to get.
View attachment 319032

I need a hint with this

 

[Ibix]

I need a hint with this

Summarise the directions of changes in Rudolph's marks, then have a look through the lyrics of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer".

 

[OCR]

Summarise the directions of changes in Rudolph's marks. . .

Lol, okay. . . got it. .

 

[OCR]

View attachment 319033

He's dead, Jim ! .

 

[berkeman]

Summarise the directions of changes in Rudolph's marks

Oh gawd, I didn't have the patience to sing the whole song in my head to the end. Thanks for the hint.

 

[Ibix]

Oh gawd,

It's definitely a groaner, but I snickered about it for quite a while after the groan.

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 319035View attachment 319036

That seems more like a "why men shouldn't be in the military", no?

 

[WWGD]

That seems more like a "why men shouldn't be in the military", no?

In an ideal world, neither should be. Edit: My whole point is this is funny at a superficial level. Edit: Which is what , imo, ' Lame Jokes' is about.

 

[Bandersnatch]

Clearly, only George Takei should be in the military.

 

[BillTre]

Clearly, only George Takei should be in the military.

If there were more than one George Takei, then they could be distracted by each other.
Only single person crews. No mirrors.

 

[pinball1970]

It's definitely a groaner, but I snickered about it for quite a while after the groan.

History? What about all the other grades? I was trying to find connections to glowing noses and maintaining an A in Science.
That's what happens when you spend too much time deciphering physics jokes.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

 

[DrGreg]

When a man gives his girlfriend a diamond ring, would you call that "carbon dating"?

 

[nsaspook]

 

[Ibix]

Related - the Chief Stoker's Principle: if at first you don't succeed, hit it with a bigger hammer.

 

[WWGD]

Related: the Chief Stoker's Principle: if at first you don't succeed, hit it with a bigger hammer.

Too legit to hit. Don't hurt them, Hammer (US celebrities dish).

 

[Wrichik Basu]

View attachment 319066

You forgot the (in)famous duct tape.

 

[kuruman]

View attachment 319066

That reminds of the three fundamental equations in Electrical Engineering
$$\begin{align} & V=IR \\ & I=V/R \\& R=V/I \end{align}$$

 

[jbriggs444]

Related - the Chief Stoker's Principle: if at first you don't succeed, hit it with a bigger hammer.

If it doesn't fit, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

 

[Arjan82]

 

[jack action]

That reminds of the three fundamental equations in Electrical Engineering
$$\begin{align} & V=IR \\ & I=V/R \\& R=V/I \end{align}$$

The worst thing is that for some, this is not a joke.

I remember meeting a retired electrician and he was so proud to show me: (1) he had a calculator; (2) he had a list of equations inside his calculator case, something like this (Yep, it is still available on the Web):

I only saw 2 [very simple, very basic] equations, that I know by heart even though electricity is not my domain. I wanted to tell him that it was just the same two equations rearranged differently, but I could see the mathematical concept would just go over his head. Still, he was proudly - half-joking, half-serious - saying stuff like: "See, I'm almost an engineer!"

 

[kuruman]

The worst thing is that for some, this is not a joke.

I remember meeting a retired electrician and he was so proud to show me: (1) he had a calculator; (2) he had a list of equations inside his calculator case, something like this (Yep, it is still available on the Web):

View attachment 319083​

I only saw 2 [very simple, very basic] equations, that I know by heart even though electricity is not my domain. I wanted to tell him that it was just the same two equations rearranged differently, but I could see the mathematical concept would just go over his head. Still, he was proudly - half-joking, half-serious - saying stuff like: "See, I'm almost an engineer!"

No, this is no joke. I can see how the chart can be useful when people cannot trust themselves to do the required simple algebra in their heads. They don't want to build something only to discover that it cannot pass the smoke test.