Collection of Lame Jokes

[davenn]

 

[BillTre]

Waht?

 

[fresh_42]

Waht?

He siad, yuo undrespood him!

 

[davenn]

 

[Borg]

View attachment 273728

I need to train my next AI algorithm on that!

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

Only 385 days until Christmas!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

The turkeys are looking GREAT this year.

 

[jack action]

Two old people discuss together:

- I just made a silent fart. What do I do?

- Put new batteries in your hearing aid.

 

[256bits]

Watching Fauci trying to find the right language is painful.

~ What we don't want to see is a surge on top of a surge within a surge while wrapping a surge around a surge...

He should just say "STAY AT HOME!"

He is noticeably frustrated. He has all but begged people to stay home.

 

[256bits]

The turkeys are looking GREAT this year.

View attachment 273755

Just don't ask the guest(s) what kind of meat they would like, the drumstick or the ...

 

[etotheipi]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Metaphor: The collective result of many phors.

 

[WWGD]

Just don't ask the guest(s) what kind of meat they would like, the drumstick or the ...

Or put a bra on it before cooking it.

 

[WWGD]

Metaphor: The collective result of many phors.

I've met threes but never metaphor . (I'll see myself out.)

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

View attachment 273806

Gosh Darn!
They got Dinosaurs!

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[phinds]

Business signs:

North Side Concrete --- we dry harder
Pattie's Pastries --- Hey, get your buns in here
Smith's Septic Service --- We're number 1 in the number 2 business
Ho's Dry Cleaner --- Drop your pants here
Boston tacos --- Don't just stand there, come inside and get fed up
South Side Diaper Service --- Let us lighten your load
Greenside Plant Nursery --- Our business is growing
Billie's Body Shop --- May we have the next dents?
Edgar's Muffler --- no appointment necessary; we'll hear you coming
Maple's Massage Parlor --- It's great to be kneaded
Cincinnati bakery --- while you sleep, we loaf
Smith Plumbers --- a good flush beats a full house
Ithaca Vacuum Cleaner Service --- Our business sucks

and my favorite:

Hillsgate Trash Service --- satisfaction guarantee or double your trash back

 

[phinds]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Business signs:

North Side Concrete --- we dry harder
Pattie's Pastries --- Hey, get your buns in here
Smith's Septic Service --- We're number 1 in the number 2 business
Ho's Dry Cleaner --- Drop your pants here
Boston tacos --- Don't just stand there, come inside and get fed up
South Side Diaper Service --- Let us lighten your load
Greenside Plant Nursery --- Our business is growing
Billie's Body Shop --- May we have the next dents?
Edgar's Muffler --- no appointment necessary; we'll hear you coming
Maple's Massage Parlor --- It's great to be kneaded
Cincinnati bakery --- while you sleep, we loaf
Smith Plumbers --- a good flush beats a full house
Ithaca Vacuum Cleaner Service --- Our business sucks

and my favorite:

Hillsgate Trash Service --- satisfaction guarantee or double your trash back

We had a radiator shop that claimed to be the best place to take a leak.

The gas station offered free break checks.

Many moons ago I worked for MCTS - Mobile Computerized Tomographic Services.
Our company t-shirts read: We give the best head and better body scans.

 

[jtbell]

Business signs:

On a garbage truck: "We service what we smell"

Business names:

A carpet and tile store in New Orleans: Floor de Lys

A hair salon in Portsmouth, Ohio: Curl Up and Dye

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

I asked the librarian If they had any books on different noise levels...
The librarian says, "Sure, what volume would you like?"...

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 273806

The bird seems to have replaced a man in the second rank. Is this the origin of the expression "to chicken out"?

 

[Ibix]

I asked the librarian If they had any books on different noise levels...
The librarian says, "Sure, what volume would you like?"...

How many volumes are there? I want a series that goes to eleven!

 

[davenn]

How many volumes are there? I want a series that goes to eleven!

from 0 to 110 (dB)

 

[WWGD]