Collection of Lame Jokes

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SUMMARY

This forum discussion centers around a collection of lame jokes shared by users, showcasing a variety of humor styles. Notable jokes include, "A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, 'Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill,'" and "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." Participants engage in light-hearted banter, with some jokes eliciting groans and laughter alike. The thread emphasizes the enjoyment of humor that is intentionally silly or absurd, appealing to those who appreciate puns and wordplay.

PREREQUISITES
  • Understanding of basic joke structure and humor types
  • Familiarity with puns and wordplay
  • Knowledge of cultural references in humor
  • Ability to appreciate absurdity in comedic contexts
NEXT STEPS
  • Explore the history of puns in literature and comedy
  • Research the psychology of humor and why people enjoy lame jokes
  • Learn about different styles of comedy, including surrealism and absurdism
  • Investigate the role of cultural references in joke-telling
USEFUL FOR

Anyone looking to enhance their comedic repertoire, including aspiring comedians, writers, and individuals interested in the mechanics of humor. This discussion is particularly beneficial for those who enjoy light-hearted, silly jokes and want to understand their appeal.

  • #8,641
Screenshot from 2020-12-03 15-14-45.png
 
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Physics news on Phys.org
  • #8,642
I'd really like to thank you all who set me straight on the meaning of plethora.
It means a lot to me.
 
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  • #8,643
A pirate in Comic Sans walks into a bar.
Bartender: "Sorry, we don't serve your type in here."
 
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  • #8,644
A synonym strolls into a local tavern ...
 
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  • #8,645
main-qimg-c643cbcb273667ecce2c9cbed53a1075.jpeg
 
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  • #8,646
main-qimg-f3d042be3dfeeec5d64c6e2a03fec010.jpeg
 
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  • #8,647
main-qimg-ce820651cceaaef3b9fa7b561c90dd50.jpeg
 
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  • #8,648
1607045025360.png
 
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  • #8,649
1607067305300.png
 
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  • #8,650
I once saw on a large air vent in a physics building, a little official looking label (matching campus P. plant style) saying:
"Warped Space Entrance, Authorized Personnel Only".

It went away in a few weeks.
 
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  • #8,651
  • #8,652
1607075248847.png
 
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  • #8,653
thomasweek said:
What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday the rest are week days.
But Saturday and Sunday are not very strong either, they are weakened.
 
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  • #8,654
thumbsup.jpg
 
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  • #8,656
alias.jpg
 
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  • #8,658
You neak up on it.

The tame way you neak up on it.
 
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  • #8,659
Last edited:
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  • #8,660
He chases it with his pack and shoots at it.
He divides the forest into two, looks which part the rabbit is in. Then he divides this one into two, looks which part ...
He catches a wild boar and beats it until it admits to be a rabbit.

(*) This is only culturally adapted. My version goes with german cops. No offense to the US. I just thought it fits better with an intelligence service and nobody knows BND.
 
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  • #8,661
How do you kill a blue elephant?
Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
How do you kill a red elephant?
Twist its trunk until it turns blue and then shoot it with a red elephant gun.
 
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  • #8,662
An international team has found a mammoth in the Siberian tundra. The scientists bet which one of them can determine its age most precisely. The German scientist crawled into the cave and returned after 10 minutes: "It is 3.5 million years old." I can do better, said the American and crawled into the cave. He returned after an hour and said: "It is 3.47 million years old." At last the Russian scientist vanished in the cave. His colleagues waited for an hour, two hours, three hours, but it wasn't before the next day when he returned. "And? What do you think?" - "It is 3,468,324 years, 5 month and 2 days old!" - "Wow! How can you know?" - "The interrogation was tough, but in the end he confessed."
 
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  • #8,663
fresh_42 said:
An international team has found a mammoth in the Siberian tundra. The scientists bet which one of them can determine its age most precisely. The German scientist crawled into the cave and returned after 10 minutes: "It is 3.5 million years old." I can do better, said the American and crawled into the cave. He returned after an hour and said: "It is 3.47 million years old." At last the Russian scientist vanished in the cave. His colleagues waited for an hour, two hours, three hours, but it wasn't before the next day when he returned. "And? What do you think?" - "It is 3,468,324 years, 5 month and 2 days old!" - "Wow! How can you know?" - "The interrogation was tough, but in the end he confessed."
Museum visitor: "How old is the mammoth skeleton?"
Museum attendant: "3,500,003 years."
Visitor: "Wow! How can you know?"
Attendant: "When I started working here 3 years ago, it was 3,500,000 years old."
 
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  • #8,664
Then the mammoth walked out of the cave and said ...
 
  • #8,665
fresh_42 said:
He divides the forest into two, looks which part the rabbit is in. Then he divides this one into two, looks which part ...
Too inefficient. You make a small cage, dividing the surface of Earth into two parts and define the larger part of Earth's surface to be the inside.
 
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  • #8,666
mfb said:
Too inefficient. You make a small cage, dividing the surface of Earth into two parts and define the larger part of Earth's surface to be the inside.
That's what logicians do. The rest uses a Möbius-transformation on the Riemann sphere, or Cauchy's integral formula in case the rabbit's residue is known.
 
  • #8,667
cat.jpg
 
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  • #8,668
mask-tp.jpg
 
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  • #8,669
fresh_42 said:
He chases it with his pack and shoots at it.
He divides the forest into two, looks which part the rabbit is in. Then he divides this one into two, looks which part ...
He catches a wild boar and beats it until it admits to be a rabbit.

(*) This is only culturally adapted. My version goes with german cops. No offense to the US. I just thought it fits better with an intelligence service and nobody knows BND.
I thought that the usual method of catching a rabbit was to paint yourself orange and make a noise like a carrot.
 
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  • #8,670
1607128891161.png
 
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