Collection of Lame Jokes

[jtbell]

We've been seeing a number of these inside our house the past few days:

For some reason, they like to crawl inside our new energy-efficient kitchen ceiling light fixture, so we call them "LEDbugs."

 

[phinds]

Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon said, "Electricians are the best, everything inside is color coded."
The second surgeon says, "No, I think librarians are, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The third surgeon shut them up when he said, "You're all wrong.
Politicians are the easiest to operate on.
There's no guts, no heart, no brains, and no spine.
Plus, the head and the butt are interchangeable..."

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[davenn]

The man who founded Google has been knighted...
He is now known as Sir Chengine...

 

[Fervent Freyja]

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 274072

There is a big mistake. That isn't Karen.
This is Karen:

 

[Bandersnatch]

OMG. Batman is a Karen.

 

[Borg]

OMG. Batman is a Karen.

Maybe she's just Karen about Batman.

 

[sysprog]

Maybe she's just Karen about Batman.

Is 'Karen' an adverb now?$-$ shouldn't we at least use 'Karenly' to mean 'being a Karen'? $-$ and why that name anyway?

 

[jack action]

 

[hmmm27]

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

Customer: What can you recommend, today?
Waiter: We have tongue on our menu. Very delicious!
Customer: Are you nuts? I don't eat what others had in their mouth! Bring me some ham and eggs.

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 274176

The alt text on this is hilarious: I believe in getting immunity the old-fashioned way: By letting a bat virus take control of my lungs and turn my face into a disgusting plague fountain while my immune system desperately Googles 'how to make spike protein antibodies'.

 

[davenn]

It’s crazy how beavers just see running water
and just think to themselves “well someone has to put a stop to this”.

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

I think they were asking for the date...

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

It’s crazy how beavers just see running water
and just think to themselves “well someone has to put a stop to this”.

https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/for-animal-lovers.583729/post-6414870

 

[jack action]

I went on a website to help me loose weight and they asked me if I accept cookies ...

Are they kidding me?!

 

[jack action]

 

[Keith_McClary]

It’s crazy how beavers just see running water
and just think to themselves “well someone has to put a stop to this”.

Actually, it's the noise that bothers them. Sound really carries well under water. Because physics.

 

[mfb]

I think they were asking for the date...

I wouldn't date a smoke detector either.

 

[WWGD]

I wouldn't date a smoke detector either.

Why not? Don't batteries expire? Edit: Date is to know when to reolace batteries, as detectors are powered by batteries.

 

[mfb]

Why not?

They are just too passive. They never talk, never show any emotion or interact with you in other ways. Unless they are smoking hot, but then they scream like crazy.