Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #14,651
Ibix said:
The first rule of procrastinators' club is to be written tomorrow.
I don't mind. I'm too lazy to join the club anyway.
 
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  • #14,652
Ibix said:
I've started a Sarcastics' Club, but I'm having trouble telling if people are really interested in joining or not.
I've joined the H G Wells Appreciation Society. I'm looking forward to attending yesterday's meeting.

(That one works for Doctor Who, as well.)
 
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  • #14,653
DennisN said:
I don't mind. I'm too lazy to join the club anyway.
Wow! I'm not lazy!
https://steverosephd.com/procrastination-is-not-laziness/ said:

Procrastination Is Not Laziness


[...]

What causes procrastination?


According to Temporal Motivation Theory, the root cause of procrastination includes:
  • Low expectations of your competence
  • A low value placed on the task
  • Difficulties with impulse control
  • Lack of an immediate deadline
In other words, procrastination results from perfectionistic concerns about one’s performance, low interest in a task, having several distractions, and no immediate deadline.
 
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  • #14,654
jack action said:
Wow! I'm not lazy! ("Procrastination Is Not Laziness")
I was actually aware that procrastination is not laziness.
But I was too lazy to think of something else.
 
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  • #14,655
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  • #14,656
DennisN said:
I was actually aware that procrastination is not laziness.
Its more work to procrastinate than to be lazy.
 
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  • #14,657
phinds said:
LOL @phinds I drive to work very early and I often see more deer than cars. I had three of those near misses one morning this week. One of them caused my coffee to spill on the console. I was watching a deer on the right side of the road but had to slam the breaks on when his two buddies on the left side wanted to join him. Less than a mile later, another deer trotted in front of me again. Definitely keeps me alert during my morning commute.
 
  • #14,658
Mime field.jpg
 
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  • #14,659
Sir Brave Knight:
FB_IMG_16749214641036687.jpg
 
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  • #14,660
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  • #14,661
  • #14,662
Fm7T3ZraMAAS3vt?format=jpg&name=900x900.jpg
 
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  • #14,663
fresh_42 said:
I was a member of a Codependency Club but the meeting room was always locked by cochains.
Cochains? Der Homologie Theorische?
 
  • #14,664
20230129_232612.jpg
 
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  • #14,665
20230129_232521.jpg
 
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  • #14,666
 
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  • #14,667
Screenshot 2023-01-30 at 8.33.50 AM.png
 
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  • #14,668


20230130_222001.jpg
 
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  • #14,669
20230130_222127.jpg
 
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  • #14,670
1675137772328.png
 
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  • #14,671
20230130_222253.jpg
 
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  • #14,672
1675196058826.jpeg
 
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  • #14,673
20230131_220214.jpg
 
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  • #14,674
20230126_100153.jpg
 
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  • #14,675
_nc_ohc=rU_XQouP9TcAX9qEL2o&_nc_ht=scontent-fra3-1.jpg
 
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  • #14,676
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  • #14,677
20230201_053714.jpg
 
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  • #14,678
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  • #14,679
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  • #14,680
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  • #14,681
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  • #14,682
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  • #14,683
X-cJoI6&tn=gMXr7BW6gpKPJJCa&_nc_ht=scontent-frx5-1.jpg
 
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  • #14,684
Never buy flowers from a monk.
Only you can prevent florist friars!
 
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  • #14,685
Steve4Physics said:
Never buy flowers from a monk.
Only you can prevent florist friars!
That one is so bad, I actually like it!

Here's one that's even worse:
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.

-Dan
 
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  • #14,686
A close-up image of the Chinese balloon taken by the US fighter jet, reveals the true intentions of the Chinese Government.

1675546048671.png
 
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  • #14,687
Stuff you don't want to hear from your GP:

"stroboscopic heartcramps"
"stereoisometric tetanus"
"syphilitic spinal inflammation"
"septic rectal gangrene"

Sorry. I'm having a bad day. :P
And I've had some really weird conversations today.
 
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  • #14,688
Frankly, I think "Uh-oh!" and "Oops!" followed up by ""Yeah, uh, everything's just fine." might be the worst.

-Dan
 
  • #14,689
2e5.jpg
 
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  • #14,690
1675564957732.png
 
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  • #14,691
If cars followed Moore's law they would cost $100, get a 1000 miles a gallon and be the size of a matchbox.
 
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  • #14,692
"Have a glass of water, nobody died from water."
- heard at a dinner table on The Titanic
 
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  • #14,693
  • #14,694
20230131_220250.jpg
 
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  • #14,696
1675608595581.jpeg
 
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  • #14,697
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  • #14,698
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  • #14,699
Screenshot 2023-02-05 at 9.20.18 AM.png
 
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