Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #14,701
dextercioby said:
WC Fields didn't drink water for a different reason - the disgusting things fish do in it!
 
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  • #14,702
Ivan Seeking said:
WC Fields didn't drink water for a different reason - the disgusting things fish do in it!
Or, to quote my niece when we asked her if she wanted to swim in the lake:
Too much fish poop.

-Dan
 
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  • #14,703
Ivan Seeking said:
There's a goat in a truck, Kumbaya...
 
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  • #14,704
topsquark said:
Or, to quote my niece when we asked her if she wanted to swim in the lake:
Too much fish poop.

-Dan
And there is still the fine print on the bottle:
For external use only.​
 
  • #14,705
Screenshot 2023-02-05 at 7.37.16 PM.png
 
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  • #14,706
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  • #14,707
20230206_091829.jpg
 
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  • #14,708
20230206_091813.jpg
 
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  • #14,710
Screenshot 2023-02-07 at 9.05.52 AM.png
 
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  • #14,712
1675789747823.png
 
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  • #14,713
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  • #14,715
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  • #14,716
fresh_42 said:
I hate these challenges, so I've decided to drink all the alcohol in the world on those dates this year. I think I've got a good chance of success.
 
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  • #14,719
Entangled data are shared between two quantum computers. If there’s a fault, do both computers have to be turned off and on at the same time?
 
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  • #14,720
Steve4Physics said:
Entangled data are shared between two quantum computers. If there’s a fault, do both computers have to be turned off and on at the same time?
Your question is not coherent.
 
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  • #14,721
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  • #14,722
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  • #14,723
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  • #14,724
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  • #14,725
View attachment 322017
Self reported? What does that mean?

Through you own personal experience or someone else's? If the pun is to ignore what you know personally to be true through definitive experiences, then I think they have lost touch with reality. :oldlaugh:
 
  • #14,726
about sums it up .......

Alien rescue mission.jpg
 
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  • #14,727
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  • #14,728
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  • #14,729
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  • #14,730
Screenshot 2023-02-10 at 2.18.08 PM.png
 
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  • #14,733
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  • #14,734
I think I need to rethink my opinion on recycling.
yViCI1Q4J4NpQE6uPVk3HU3oXLt&_nc_ht=scontent-frt3-2.jpg
 
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  • #14,735
This just in... the Air Force has identified the flying object that they shot down over Canada yesterday:

ufo.jpg


VZ-9
 
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  • #14,736
Yoops! The US Postal Service put this map on the back of a pane of stamps depicting the Mississippi River last year.

yoops.jpg
 
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  • #14,737
Poor Upper Peninsula of Michigan!
A few years a go their own state (the lower peninsula) made a map that omitted them.

Sometimes they give the UP to Wisconsin, sometimes they just merge Lake Superior and Lake Michigan.
 
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  • #14,738
Screenshot 2023-02-12 at 10.34.31 AM.png
 
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  • #14,739
R.jpeg

-Dan
 
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  • #14,740
 
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  • #14,741
topsquark said:

He must be a graduate of Bob's School of Quantum Mechanics.

bobqm.gif


(originally posted a couple of times by @robphy)
 
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  • #14,743
If it's true that we're here to help others, what are the others here for?

Do all cemetery workers work the graveyard shift?

Since the elderly are called "old people", why aren't infants called "new people"?

How come when people are asked what they would take to a desert island, no one every says "a boat"?

If a deaf person goes to court is it still called a hearing?

Since they're just stale bread to begin with, how come croutons come in airtight, resealable packages?

When they say a dog food is "new and improved" how do they know?
 
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  • #14,744
phinds said:
How come when people are asked what they would take to a desert island, no one every says "a boat"?
That's funny.
 
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  • #14,745
dextercioby said:
Wants world domination.

Language is indecipherable.

Technologically advanced.

Gets killed from a virus.

What did Indepedence Day mean by this?
 
  • #14,746
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  • #14,747
phinds said:
How come when people are asked what they would take to a desert island, no one every says "a boat"?
I almost spit my coffee all over my computer on that one. That never occurred to me. LOL!
 
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  • #14,748
Mayhem said:
Wants world domination.

Language is indecipherable.

Technologically advanced.

Gets killed from a virus.

What did Indepedence Day mean by this?
You are confusing your alien invasions. When according to broadcaster Orson Wells, the aliens first invaded the US in 1938, they died from a virus. But when Will Smith took them on for the 4th of July, he slapped them silly.
 
  • #14,749
FB_IMG_1676331906890.jpg

Not a lame joke, but thr truth.
 
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  • #14,750
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