Collection of Lame Jokes

[artis]

My neighbor called the police yesterday because I was listening to AC/DC too loud.

They arrested him.

Fun fact: Electrical engineers only ever hear the AC part of AC/DC

If AC/DC wanted to stay true to their name they should have made at least a few songs that are completely silent with only a "bump" at the start and one at the end of the song...

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

View attachment 323571

Would actually have been more accurate if they were ALL accordions

 

[fresh_42]

Would actually have been more accurate if they were ALL accordions

Here we go. Even the ambiance fits:

 

[nsaspook]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 323623

FYI, Baileys and Coke curdles more or less instantly. A friend ordered a vodka and coke and a Baileys and the bartender was new and got mixed up. The result looked so revolting none of us dared taste it...

 

[fresh_42]

FYI, Baileys and Coke curdles more or less instantly. A friend ordered a vodka and coke and a Baileys and the bartender was new and got mixed up. The result looked so revolting none of us dared taste it...

I couldn't imagine from which country this picture stems. You can buy Whisky Coke and similar at every gas station in one can over here. Mixing those things isn't even necessary.

 

[Ibix]

I couldn't imagine from which country this picture stems.

I don't recognise the Orange Crush drink in the middle. Wiki says it's distributed in the US, Canada, Syria, Lebanon, and Chile. What I can read of the labels looks English, so my money's on the US or Canada.

 

[fresh_42]

I don't recognise the Orange Crush drink in the middle. Wiki says it's distributed in the US, Canada, Syria, Lebanon, and Chile. What I can read of the labels looks English, so my money's on the US or Canada.

Don't they have special drug dealers for liquor in the US? I mean, we are talking about a market that forbids Kinder surprise eggs and probably Mon Chéri as we know it. So wouldn't all that soda stuff in a liquor store be just wasted space? That's why I thought it could have been from the UK, but I stumbled upon Crush, too.

 

[Ibix]

Black Velvet is apparently a Canadian whiskey, so I'd lean towards Canada.

 

[fresh_42]

Black Velvet is apparently a Canadian whiskey, so I'd lean towards Canada.

On one occasion, they said that this ...

... was taken from Scotland. Would that be correct?

 

[Ibix]

On one occasion, they said that this ...

View attachment 323624

... was taken from Scotland. Would that be correct?

I've not been to Scotland in something like ten years.

My guess is that if it really is in Scotland it was put up by a private citizen as a joke or some local council as a rather ill-thought-out safety campaign. The graphic style doesn't match British standards for clarity and the colour scheme is wrong, although there seems to be a bit of a fad for ignoring inconvenient things like safety standards in road markings in recent years. It could be anywhere with English as an official language, though.

 

[collinsmark]

Don't they have special drug dealers for liquor in the US? I mean, we are talking about a market that forbids Kinder surprise eggs and probably Mon Chéri as we know it. So wouldn't all that soda stuff in a liquor store be just wasted space? That's why I thought it could have been from the UK, but I stumbled upon Crush, too.

I don't recognise the Orange Crush drink in the middle. Wiki says it's distributed in the US, Canada, Syria, Lebanon, and Chile. What I can read of the labels looks English, so my money's on the US or Canada.

Yes, Orange Crush is is a common orange flavored soft drink (soda pop) in the US. It's been around for awhile, over a hundred years actually. As a matter of fact, the band REM even wrote a song by that name, back in the 1980s.


(There's music in the video, of course, so you'll probably have to watch it on YouTube in a new tab.)

 

[fresh_42]

I've not been to Scotland in something like ten years.

Doesn't matter. My thought was, if it is Scotland, the probability is high that it had come to your attention by local media or internet feeds. And if it was an official traffic sign, then it would exist in England, too. The picture I first saw this sign (without the text add-on) could well have been in Britain judging by its background. But it was on fb, which means there is no chance of ever finding it again. I usually "like" such memes for that matter, but I didn't "like" it this time.

 

[BillTre]

 

[JT Smith]

I don't recognise the Orange Crush drink in the middle. Wiki says it's distributed in the US, Canada, Syria, Lebanon, and Chile. What I can read of the labels looks English, so my money's on the US or Canada.

Those look like products I'd see at the market here in the U.S. But joined like that? No. And searching the web turns up very little. This was either a made-for-social-media prop or some one off store that thought it could increase sales by selling these combos.

 

[DrGreg]

On one occasion, they said that this ...

View attachment 323624

... was taken from Scotland. Would that be correct?

If the Wikipedia article Comparison of traffic signs in English-speaking territories is to be believed, the only English-speaking country that uses triangular signs on a yellow background is Nigeria.

 

[berkeman]

Looks to be a popular sign. From a Google Images search:

https://www.google.com/search?q=bew...gECMTSYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZw&sclient=img

 

[martinbn]

I don't recognise the Orange Crush drink in the middle. Wiki says it's distributed in the US, Canada, Syria, Lebanon, and Chile. What I can read of the labels looks English, so my money's on the US or Canada.

Wouldnt the labels of Pepsi, Coca Cola and so on be in English everywhere?

 

[Ibix]

Wouldnt the labels of Pepsi, Coca Cola and so on be in English everywhere?

I would expect the Crush drink to have a localised version for the flavour, at least.

 

[jack action]

so you'll probably have to watch it on YouTube in a new tab

I don't understand: If I put Orange Crush in a new Tab, will I get a Tab Orange?

$+$

$=$

$?$​

 

[fresh_42]

Looks to be a popular sign. From a Google Images search:

I checked it. It is no official sign in Germany although some of these places could well be here.

 

[gmax137]

Don't they have special drug dealers for liquor in the US? I mean, we are talking about a market that forbids Kinder surprise eggs and probably Mon Chéri as we know it. So wouldn't all that soda stuff in a liquor store be just wasted space? That's why I thought it could have been from the UK, but I stumbled upon Crush, too.

In the US, liquor laws vary by state and sometimes by county. When I lived in Virginia, liquor (sprits) was sold only in state-owned stores. In Connecticut, liquor/beer/wine sales stopped at 8:00 PM, and the stores were tightly controlled by an "association" of store owners (-> you had to be one of the "boys" to get a license). In Florida, you could take a half-consumed drink out and drive away ("can I get that in a go-cup, please?) -- try that in Connecticut and the owner would tackle you before you got out, otherwise he'd lose his license. There was a drive -thru convenience store in the Florida Keys where I bought draft beer, it comes in a paper cup with a straw, like a milk shake. When I lived in New Orleans, there were drive-thru daiquiri places. When I moved to Nevada, I noticed the drug stores sold fishing gear, liquor, ammunition and targets, as well as cigarettes, paperbacks, coolers, etc. with the actual pharmacy at the back.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[artis]

In the US, liquor laws vary by state and sometimes by county. When I lived in Virginia, liquor (sprits) was sold only in state-owned stores. In Connecticut, liquor/beer/wine sales stopped at 8:00 PM, and the stores were tightly controlled by an "association" of store owners (-> you had to be one of the "boys" to get a license). In Florida, you could take a half-consumed drink out and drive away ("can I get that in a go-cup, please?) -- try that in Connecticut and the owner would tackle you before you got out, otherwise he'd lose his license. There was a drive -thru convenience store in the Florida Keys where I bought draft beer, it comes in a paper cup with a straw, like a milk shake. When I lived in New Orleans, there were drive-thru daiquiri places. When I moved to Nevada, I noticed the drug stores sold fishing gear, liquor, ammunition and targets, as well as cigarettes, paperbacks, coolers, etc. with the actual pharmacy at the back.

Definitely much more regulated than in Europe, I can just get in a regular store buy myself some snickers, a diet Coke and a ton of vodka, whiskey etc.
The first day your 18, you can just buy boatloads of strong alcohol and every type of tobacco you wish. (Not sure whether in all of EU but definitely here in eastern Europe)
Not necessarily a good thing, although I haven't compared tobacco and alcohol usage in young adults between EU vs US.

 

[Grelbr42]

Yes, Orange Crush is is a common orange flavored soft drink (soda pop) in the US. It's been around for awhile, over a hundred years actually. As a matter of fact, the band REM even wrote a song by that name, back in the 1980s.


(There's music in the video, of course, so you'll probably have to watch it on YouTube in a new tab.)

The song "Orange Crush" by R.E.M. is about agent orange, the herbicide used in the Vietnam war. R.E.M. were frequently deliberately obscure about what their songs meant.

 

[jtbell]

Where do the gardeners and landscapers live, who work in wealthy New York suburbs like the ones in Westchester County?

On Lawn Guyland.

 

[fresh_42]

Not necessarily a good thing, although I haven't compared tobacco and alcohol usage in young adults between EU vs US.

I prefer these European rules. It shouldn't be the task of the government to decide for me as a consumer. Just make sure that I am informed of what I buy via fine print on the bottle and leave it up to me. I don't think that there is a big difference in addicts per capita in either country.

But as this is a joke thread, here is what a Russian once said to me while having a beer:
"Tastes good, but it takes too long!"

 

[fresh_42]

Text: "My daughter invited some of her climate freaks. I've already adjusted the toilet paper."

 

[dextercioby]

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[DaveC426913]

Nice use of the meme.

 

[WWGD]

Somehow Newton was assigned the Lucasian chair despite he did not Look Asian.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

Yes, Orange Crush is is a common orange flavored soft drink (soda pop) in the US. It's been around for awhile, over a hundred years actually. As a matter of fact, the band REM even wrote a song by that name, back in the 1980s.

Is that you in the corner? Where's your religion? Lost it?

(There's music in the video, of course, so you'll probably have to watch it on YouTube in a new tab.)

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

View attachment 323692

I used to have a pick-up like that, without the sign.

 

[WWGD]

I used to have a pick-up like that, without the sign.

You and Fred G. Sanford.

 

 

[BillTre]

 

[artis]

But as this is a joke thread, here is what a Russian once said to me while having a beer:
"Tastes good, but it takes too long!"

And most importantly too much...

 

[fresh_42]