Collection of Lame Jokes

[DrGreg]

Is that what "90° out of phase" means?

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 323951

It appears to be a circuit breaker tester.

 

[Arjan82]

It appears to be a circuit breaker tester.

Well, the circuit is broken alright...

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 323951

Das translater-geheit?

 

[fresh_42]

Das translater-geheit?

I didn't know how to translate the spirit and "Sauber!" The closest would be:

"Yep! He got it!"
I thought the circuit speaks for itself.

The fb feed calls itself "botch in construction" and has examples like

 

[topsquark]

View attachment 323951

Is it wrong of me to have this insane desire to lick it?

-Dan

 

[berkeman]

Is it wrong of me to have this insane desire to lick it?

-Dan

That's a trick question. Before or after the circuit is energized? Before: you must like the taste of plastic. After: you must like the taste of burned plastic and molten metal. During: (nevermind...).

 

[DrGreg]

I didn't know how to translate the spirit and "Sauber!" The closest would be:

"Yep! He got it!"

Google Translate suggests: "Magic, he got it"P.S. Just in case: Some of our readers in different parts of the world might not be aware that, in Europe and some other parts of the world, brown and blue are standard colours for single-phase mains electricity power supply (live and neutral).

 

[WWGD]

Google Translate suggests: "Magic, he got it"P.S. Just in case: Some of our readers in different parts of the world might not be aware that, in Europe and some other parts of the world, brown and blue are standard colours for single-phase mains electricity power supply (live and neutral).

And if not neutral, then live and let die.

 

[JT Smith]

Is it wrong of me to have this insane desire to lick it?

If someday you are famous enough that your quotes are listed on a website I wonder if the context of this particular one will be lost.

 

[jtbell]

What's worse than being dumped by your spouse / boyfriend / girlfriend?

Being dumped by a chatbot.

HALey: "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that any more."

 

[Arjan82]

I didn't know how to translate the spirit and "Sauber!"

Sauber means 'clean' (also 'pure' I guess? Similar to a Dutch word). But in this case I think 'sharp' would be better, in the sense of 'sharpest tool in the shed', with a healthy dose of sarcasm . Or 'right on!' will also work. So you could translate it as:

"Right on! He got it!"

 

[nuuskur]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[nuuskur]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

DYK that modern kids come with automatic remote control for "come down for dinner"?

Spoiler

 

[WWGD]

Went to visit my friend at the hospital. He was in a room with six sick Sikhs.

 

[kuruman]

Went to visit my friend at the hospital. He was in a room with six, sick Sikhs.

Try "six sick chicks seek six chic Sikhs."

 

[Wrichik Basu]

Try this:

Sixth sick Shikh's sixth sheep's sick.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

People are shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician.

 

[kuruman]

My uncle was a conductor. He got hit by lightning.

 

[DrGreg]

My uncle was a conductor. He got hit by lightning.

My uncle was a conductor. He took his own baton to work on his first day, but the bus driver said he didn't need one.

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

I hope I will keep this in mind ...

 

[DennisN]

 

[BillTre]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Arjan82]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DrGreg]

Why did I think of this?

(This will make sense only if you have seen a specific British sitcom from the 70s and early 80s.)

 

[fresh_42]

Say hello to our new employee in accounting!

Spoiler

Excel Rose

 

[phinds]

 

[ohwilleke]

 

[fresh_42]

Installation expert!

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

A DEA officer stopped by our farm and said “I need to inspect your farm for growing illegal drugs.” I said “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”
The arrogant officer shoved his badge in my face. “See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish on any land!!
I heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by my big old mean bull. With every step the bull was gaining ground. The officer was clearly terrified.
I threw down my tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of my lungs, “Your badge, show him your BADGE!!”

 

[davenn]

 

[nsaspook]