Collection of Lame Jokes

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

Those states where Amazon has been approved for drone package delivery now have local NRA branches advertising to their members --- skeet shooting with prizes.

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 276610

Looks more like the local firewood rental agency.

 

[fresh_42]

When you hear the captain saying: "Hello, here speaks your captain ..." on your next flight, just call out loud "What? Is he already allowed to flay again?"

 

[strangerep]

"Is he already allowed to flay again?"

...and for 1st class passengers who purchased our premium BDSM package: your captain will be attending to you shortly...

 

[phinds]

If you youngsters think you're smarter than the older generation, consider this: 50 years ago the owner's manual of a car showed you how to adjust the valves. Today's owner's manuals warn you not to drink the contents of the battery. What generation do you think caused them to put that in?

 

[WWGD]

If you youngsters think you're smarter than the older generation, consider this: 50 years ago the owner's manual of a car showed you how to adjust the valves. Today's owner's manuals warn you not to drink the contents of the battery. What generation do you think caused them to put that it?

I remember seeing instructions in underwear. Wow! It turns out it was for washing them.

 

[Keith_McClary]

instructions in underwear. Wow! It turns out it was for washing them.

Do not iron.

 

[WWGD]

Do not iron.

Too late. What now?

 

[wrobel]

View attachment 276547

I thought this picture is about education of guys who neglect the parking rules and block other cars. In Moscow it is a widespread education technology

 

[fresh_42]

I thought this picture is about education of guys who neglect the parking rules and block other cars. In Moscow it is a widespread education technology

Traffic in Moscow is synonymous to nightmare. The roads are extraordinary wide, yet you manage to jam them.

 

[wrobel]

Traffic in Moscow is synonymous to nightmare.

oh, yes. there is no work in the suburb

 

[phinds]

Do not iron.

Actually, I think the full instruction, for the younger generation, is "do not iron while wearing".

 

[etotheipi]

Today's owner's manuals warn you not to drink the contents of the battery.

Well, it does taste better than eating the powder from the little AA batteries. Car batteries are a decent source of electrolytes, too. Don't knock it until you try it!

 

[256bits]

Too late. What now?

Add starch, and you can just jump right into them in the morning.
A real time saver.

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

I just noticed two large bumps on my car battery.

I had them tested and one came back positive.

I hope it's not terminal.

 

[WWGD]

 

[davenn]

When you hear the captain saying: "Hello, here speaks your captain ..."

On our sea cruise up and down the coast of British Colombia / SE Alaska in 2019
The captain would always come on the intercom each morning exclaiming things like
" good morning, this is your captain speaking, I am pleased to announce that the ship is still upright and cruising at a steady 25 knots..."

 

[strangerep]

[Photo of a guy poking a girl's backside with his finger??]

I don't get it. What am I missing?

 

[Ibix]

I don't get it. What am I missing?

He's making the gesture Spiderman uses to shoot web from his wrist.

 

[phinds]

He's making the gesture Spiderman uses to shoot web from his wrist.

But it looks obscene in this context

 

[Ibix]

But it looks obscene in this context

Does it? I just see a joke where her jumper looks like spiderweb and the cameraman is pretending to be Spiderman catching her with a web. I can't see it as him touching her backside because the perspective is way off for that.

 

[Keith_McClary]

But it looks obscene in this context

It's in the eye of the beholder.

 

[BillTre]

Cookie Monster Fossilized?

 

[etotheipi]

 

[etotheipi]