Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

Amusing little bug (when it doesn't happen to you, that is): install script does rm -rf /usr for ubuntu #123

Which led me to this famous bugs page as well.

Is this an IQ test, since you have hidden something unknown behind a link? I surely won't click.

 

[jack action]

Is this an IQ test, since you have hidden something unknown behind a link? I surely won't click.

It is a link to a real github issue.

 

[mfb]

Installing bumblebee, an abandoned 2011 project, with a short-living version of an installation script from 24 May 2011 would be dangerous under Ubuntu. Opening the website where that problem is discussed is not dangerous.

It's a pretty famous typo.
Added here, fixed here

 

[DennisN]

Funny article titles:

 

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[Ibix]

People keep telling me I'm in Denial but I'm positive I've never been there before!

Did you hear about the guy who wouldn't believe there were crocodiles chewing on his legs? He was in de Nile.

 

[davenn]

 

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[jtbell]

Did you hear about the library that started to require reservations because of the pandemic?

People had trouble getting them because the place was always booked.

 

[jack action]

The other day I spotted an albino dalmatian.

It's the least I could do for him.

 

[jack action]

President Johnson enjoyed surprising unsuspecting guests when taking them for a ride in his Amphicar.

The President, with Vicky McCammon in the seat alongside him and me in the back,was now driving around in a small blue car with the top down. We reached a steep incline at the edge of the lake and the car started rolling rapidly toward the water. The President shouted, "The brakes don’t work! The brakes won’t hold! We’re going in! We’re going under!" The car splashed into the water. I started to get out. Just then the car leveled and I realized we were in a Amphicar. The President laughed. As we putted along the lake then (and throughout the evening), he teased me. "Vicky, did you see what Joe did? He didn’t give a damn about his President. He just wanted to save his own skin and get out of the car." Then he’d roar.
--Joseph A. Califano, Jr

 

[Sagittarius A-Star]

An old lawyer joke:

"Your Honor, I will show first, that my client never borrowed the Ming vase from the plaintiff; second, that he returned the vase in perfect condition; and third, that the crack was already present when he borrowed it."

Source:
https://math.ucr.edu/home/baez/physics/Relativity/SR/TwinParadox/twin_vase.html

 

[etotheipi]

 

[etotheipi]

 

[etotheipi]

 

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[fresh_42]

Life writes the best jokes! I watched a documentary about boat people on a river in Myanmar. One trades vegetables and other goods for a living. He said: "I used to be a farmer, but things went very badly. Then I passed my land on to family members."

 

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[Klystron]

In the bleak morning light a figure appears in silhouette, combat boots crumbling the ragged desert soil. Fast jets scream overhead splitting dawn's calm. Wistfully, the e-warrior speaks,

"I love the feel of chaff in the morning. It's like... being slapped in the face with a sack of poker chips."

 

[jack action]

View attachment 280224

 

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[etotheipi]

 

[Frigus]

Teacher to student:-school is about to end and I don't even know your name!
Student:-no problem,I don't know your name either.

 

[jack action]

 

[jtbell]

Unofficial state joke of Michigan, most common in November (of normal, non-Covid years):

"What's a buckeye? Some kind of nut?"