Collection of Lame Jokes

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

Geography, religion and meats:
Turkey: Ottoman Empire,
Ham: Muslims
Bacon: Britain ( Roger).
Rotisserie: 15:3.

 

[BillTre]

Geography, religion and meats:
Turkey: Ottoman Empire,
Ham: Muslims
Bacon: Britain ( Roger).
Rotisserie: 15:3.

And a turkey, ham, and bacon sandwich is what???

 

[fresh_42]

And a turkey, ham, and bacon sandwich is what???

An Abraham's sandwich.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[WWGD]

An Abraham's sandwich.

Abraham includes Pastrami

 

[fresh_42]

Abraham includes Pastrami

This would be Hindi according to your ham logic.

 

[WWGD]

This would be Hindi according to your ham logic.

I think Turkey in Turkish is 'Gindi'

 

[davenn]

View attachment 326264

and look how close it came to hitting the visitor centre

 

[256bits]

View attachment 326306

Used to have those on airlines for listening pleasure.
https://apex.aero/articles/sound-tube-surprising-history-airline-headsets/
I still might have an old headset for nostalga sake.

 

[fresh_42]

Works!

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

And a turkey, ham, and bacon sandwich is what???

A club sandwich?

 

[phinds]

A club sandwich?

I'll join that club.

 

[DrClaude]

I'll join that club.

 

[BillTre]

 

[nsaspook]

Today, there is a cure for male connector rejection.

 

[DennisN]

 

[statdad]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender takes one look at it and asks: "So, why the long face?"

Horse says "So when I'm grazing on the plains I can watch for predators."

 

[jtbell]

"You young flowers don't know how easy you have it these days!"

"OK, bloomer."

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 326486

... just watching the Giro.

 

[DennisN]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[nsaspook]

Diameter-challenged celestial body

 

[fresh_42]

The Saint is desperately needed!

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Ibix]

The Saint is desperately needed!View attachment 326498

The electrician's gospel says: Do not trifle with the lightning that lurketh in the capacitor, or thy mates may buy thy widow drinks and comfort her in ways of which thou might not approve.

 

[fresh_42]

The electrician's gospel says: Do not trifle with the lightning that lurketh in the capacitor, or your mates may buy your widow drinks and comfort her in ways of which you might not approve.

We have a song here from 1984 which we call the electricians' song:
"Tausendmal berührt, tausendmal ist nix passiert, und dann hat's Boom gemacht!"
(Touched a thousand times, nothing happened a thousand times, and then it went boom!)

 

[phinds]

 

[jack action]

Was wondering why there was music coming from my printer - turns out the paper was jamming.

 

[davenn]

Being married is like being in AA
My friends asked me, how's your marriage going?
One day at a time man..
I didnt say anything wrong today, but I don't know what tomorrow's going to bring
My name is Dave and I'm a married man
It's been 6 months since my last decision
I felt the urge to have an opinion the other day but.....

 

[dextercioby]

 

[davenn]

And I still see people doing this !!

 

[davenn]

 

[pinball1970]

(off topic)

@TonyStewart : You seem to be new here, so welcome!
And I must say that your avatar is the coolest I've ever seen on PhysicsForums!

Agree!

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 325487

If I translate it on the picture, I would need to use more unnecessary bytes on the server, and it will not work since "I hear" would have to become "I listen to" which is the same "ich höre" in German, and I think it is already understandable on its own, as long as one associates the movie and the music presented in the picture.

Who is the first guy? Top left?

 

[pinball1970]

A rim shot is actually playing the rim and snare head at the same time.
The clip you played is what drummers call, "b' dum dshhhhhh."

Not to be confused with, "B'dat dum dshhhhhh." The preferred phrase in that situation.

 

[dextercioby]

Taken this myself on the train to Frankfurt Flughafen. Can't say what researcher you must be, to make tests with fighting animals...

 

[pinball1970]

Taken this myself on the train to Frankfurt Flughafen. Can't say what researcher you must be, to make tests with fighting animals...
View attachment 326528

Those scientists will just do anything for the sake of it, the fiends.

 

[TonyStewart]

(off topic)

@TonyStewart : You seem to be new here, so welcome!
And I must say that your avatar is the coolest I've ever seen on PhysicsForums!

This is what I imagine String Theory looks like, if it were real.

 

[fresh_42]

Who is the first guy? Top left?

Looks like Bono to me.

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 326525

Cabbage and salad were actually more of a problem.

 

[pinball1970]

Looks like Bono to me.

He's not dead though. I thinks a hard rock guy, the guy who got shot on stage? I'll check.

 

[pinball1970]

Looks like Bono to me.

Chester Bennington

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

View attachment 326524And I still see people doing this !!

In my country, wearing a mask even when driving alone, with all windows up and AC running, was made mandatory by some High Court. The ruling was that every place outside your home is a public place for you, and as per Govt. regulations, wearing masks was mandatory in all public places.