Collection of Lame Jokes

[TonyStewart]

Thanks for the parking tip

 

[Ibix]

Thanks for the parking tip

I was going to say Reliant Robin.

 

[DennisN]

I've probably posted this one sometime in the distant past, but it's so funny :

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 327714

I would tell you whose fault it is via a video, but some here have a crude understanding of what politics is.

 

[phinds]

After a hard day of shopping at Walmart

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

In ancient Rome, there were four types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would kill you instantly.

Poison IV would just make you itchy.

 

[DrGreg]

In ancient Rome, there were four types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would kill you instantly.

Poison IV would just make you itchy.

That reminds me of some film sequels:

• Cocka II
• Timbuk II
• Mange II

(As invented by British comedian Milton Jones.)

 

[BillTre]

There's a band Timbuk 3.

 

[Hornbein]

View attachment 324392

Thanks, but Ill stick with heavy breathing and moaning.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[topsquark]

-Dan

 

[BillTre]

I always like a good magic trick:

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

The Philosoraptor brings the wisdom of the really really ancients to modern problems.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Arjan82]

View attachment 327842

Eurhm... that's kind of inaccurate...

 

[Borg]

Only if you pay for the optional 90 million dollar space package.

 

[Swamp Thing]

View attachment 327785

Only if you pay for the optional 90 million dollar space package.

Which is subscription based.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 327875

When I see someone driving one who can't find a parking spot, I offer to carry it in my backpack.

 

[Swamp Thing]

When I see someone driving one who can't find a parking spot, I offer to carry it in my backpack.

There was a show (Jeremy Clarkson / Top Gear, IIRC) where the host drives a micro car into a BBC building, uses a lift (elevator), and drives among the desks and cubicles.

And it wasn't an electric, as I recall.Edit: Here it is...

 

[DennisN]

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 327899

The relativity of time. Also, women do have an absolute timescale, no matter what physicists say. They can always tell you the exact time they have told you something. Men, on the other hand, have no timescale at all. No matter when you told them something, this event simply didn't happen.

 

[topsquark]

-Dan

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 327909

That happens. You can buy Americans at bakeries here!

 

[dextercioby]

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

Actually happened at the coffee shop.
1)" Hi, can I have a scone?"
2) " Sure, what flavor"
1') " Strawberry, please"
2') " We only have blueberry, sorry".

 

[dextercioby]

 

[davenn]

Waiter: How do you like your steak, sir?
Sir: Like winning an argument with my wife.
Waiter: Rare it is!

 

[fresh_42]

Waiter: How do you like your steak, sir?
Sir: Like winning an argument with my wife.
Waiter: Rare it is!

I admire your optimism!

 

[berkeman]

"Happy wife, happy life".

 

[jtbell]

"Why do we never have enough food for our big family picnics?"

"Aunts always show up at a picnic, even when they're not invited."

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

Awkward moment (for old time music lovers)…...