Collection of Lame Jokes

[phinds]

Some fun quotes of Steven Wright:

His best:

You can't have everything; where would you put it?

 

[phinds]

I love a good hard-boiled detective story.

Reminds me of the anecdote about the contest for the best really, really short story that had to include religion, sex, and mystery.

The winner:

Good God, I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Klystron]

View attachment 282766

Not certain I get this joke. Perhaps it is funnier in a different language.
German, as in "'s' in loT" --> "Essen Lotte"?

Ayudame, por favor. Mi mente esta estancada. (Help, please. My mind is stuck.)

 

[berkeman]

Not certain I get this joke. Perhaps it is funnier in a different language.
German, as in "'s' in loT" --> "Essen Lotte"?

Ayudame, por favor. Mi mente esta estancada. (Help, please. My mind is stuck.)

One of the big issues with the Internet of Things (IoT) is that not all manufacturers of the devices are being careful about security. Many/most of the devices are connected to the Internet (hence the "I"), and some of them do not use strong passwords and security. Some of the devices still have their well-known default passwords because their installers/users haven't bothered to change them, and some devices can be used to bridge past firewalls if they are not installed thoughtfully.

So the meme is poking fun at such IoT devices, pointing out that "Security" did not make it into the acronym.

 

[Klystron]

One of the big issues with the Internet of Things (IoT) is that not all manufacturers of the devices are being careful about security. Many/most of the devices are connected to the Internet (hence the "I"), and some of them do not use strong passwords and security. Some of the devices still have their well-known default passwords because their installers/users haven't bothered to change them, and some devices can be used to bridge past firewalls if they are not installed thoughtfully.

So the meme is poking fun at such IoT devices, pointing out that "Security" did not make it into the acronym.

I read the 'I' as 'l'; i.e., a lowercase 'L'. Thanks for helping keep decrepitude at bay for another day.

 

[Baluncore]

Thanks for helping keep decrepitude at bay for another day.

Is decrepit an antonym of crepit ?
What is the antonym of crepuscular ?

 

[DrGreg]

Is decrepit an antonym of crepit ?
What is the antonym of crepuscular ?

Hmm...
"Decrease" should be the opposite of "crease".
"Increase" should be the opposite of "crease".
Therefore "decrease" and "increase" mean the same thing!

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

Hmm...
"Decrease" should be the opposite of "crease".
"Increase" should be the opposite of "crease".
Therefore "decrease" and "increase" mean the same thing!

This sheds completely new light on the mean value theorem!

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 283464

I encountered this procedure during a visit to Russia. However, they used Vodka (= little water) instead.

 

[mfb]

Is the glass not filled, or is it fully emptied?

 

[WWGD]

Hmm...
"Decrease" should be the opposite of "crease".
"Increase" should be the opposite of "crease".
Therefore "decrease" and "increase" mean the same thing!

I just ironed my shirt to get rid of de crease.

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

View attachment 283481

Actually, he's just asleep.

 

[Ibix]

Actually, he's just asleep.

Pinin' for the fjords...

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

From Northern Exposure, Ed has come to talk to Dr Joel Fleischmann about his uncle who is sick but won't see a doctor.

Ed: He is a doctor.
Joel: Oh really? Which kind?
Ed: Witch.
Joel: Which which?
Ed: Which what?
Joel: Which doctor?
Ed: Right.

 

[etotheipi]

 

[jack action]

I wasn't sure where to put this one because it is not a joke but a real advice (Popular Science, January 1963, p. 166):

 

[phinds]

I wasn't sure where to put this one because it is not a joke but a real advice (Popular Science, January 1963, p. 166):

View attachment 283530​

They forgot to add "AND DON'T GET CAUGHT !"

 

[jack action]

They forgot to add "AND DON'T GET CAUGHT !"

Yeah ... I don't think that was an issue in 1963.

 

[BillTre]

In the same time period there was a slogan: "The solution to pollution is dilution" meaning throw it in the river and it will get diluted away in the flow.

If this is over done, you can get things like the Cuyahoga river catching fire:

The ecology of natural organisms was probably not doing too well in these parts.A dilution approach will work up to a limit, of what the environment receiving the dumping can handle. It will also depend on the nature of what is dumped. Toxins are worse than sewage (biodegradable).

A greater awareness of environmental consequences did not develop much (as public policy) until something like the 1970's.
The first Earth day was in 1970. The Nixon also made the EPA in 1970.

Musical interlude:

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

Self-similar horse :

 

[DrGreg]

Are U.S. computers full of fries instead of chips?

 

[WWGD]

Fixed point?