Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #17,701
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Physics news on Phys.org
  • #17,702
Screenshot_20231213_153136_Samsung Internet.jpg
 
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  • #17,703
Archaeologists have recently discovered an ancient Roman mosaic in England:

1000010764.jpg


(it's an AI-generated image I did today :smile:)
 
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  • #17,704
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  • #17,705
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  • #17,706
How did Jupiter grow so big?

- Anabole asteroids
 
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  • #17,707
elcaro said:
How did Jupiter grow so big?

- Anabole asteroids
I thought Ana bole was George bo(o)le's wife!
 
  • #17,708
DennisN said:
Archaeologists have recently discovered an ancient Roman mosaic in England:

View attachment 337237

(it's an AI-generated image I did today :smile:)
ronnie wood.jpg


iggy pop.png
 
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  • #17,709
I read yesterday that the International Astronomical Union, tired of people mispronouncing "Uranus", has decided to rename the planet. The new name is Urazhull.
 
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  • #17,710
Four jokes for the weekend :smile: :
Airline Merger.jpg
Bring me Solo.jpg
Time Flies.jpg
Bacon Seeds.jpg
 
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  • #17,711
DennisN said:
Four jokes for the weekend :smile: :
View attachment 337274

Groucho said:
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
 
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  • #17,712
I'm getting old and there are SO many unanswered questions ... who let the dogs out ... where IS the beef ... why is "abbreviated" such a long word ... how do you get to Sesame Street ... how many lives does the coyote really have and why does he keep trying ... why doesn't Dora just use Google Maps ... why don't LED bulbs last as long as the package says ... why did all those pretty girls did not attack me when I used Hia Karate aftershave like what happened in the TV commercials ... why do people wrap brisket in foil and call it barbecue ... why are eggs packaged in flimsy paper/Styrofoam cartons while batteries are packaged in a plastic casing that even a pissed off Schwarzenegger couldn't open ... why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed ... why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway ... why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards as it is forwards ... why do the early birds get the worm if good things come to he who waits ... why is lemonade made with artificial flavor while dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons ... why do paper towels always tell you what size they would be if they were some other size and why do they always tear anywhere BUT the perforation ... why do people hide cookies from their kids by putting them on top of the refrigerator yet leave household chemicals under the sink ... why do you have "to put your two cents in", but it's only " a penny for your thoughts" ... who gets the extra penny ... why do "The Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune ... why did you just try to sing those two songs ... just what IS Victoria's big secret ... AND ... how come I look old and fat in the mirror when my self image is young and slim? The list goes on and on.
 
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  • #17,713
According to a news report, a certain private school in Salford recently was faced with a unique problem.
Many 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the caretaker would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.

Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the caretaker. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the caretaker who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the caretaker to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers, and then there are educators...
 
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  • #17,714
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  • #17,716
phinds said:
why do "The Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune ... why did you just try to sing those two songs
I didn't, but Baa Baa Black Sheep did make a round in my head
 
  • #17,717
Halc said:
I didn't, but Baa Baa Black Sheep did make a round in my head
Now you have me thinking about dog fights!

(That's not only a dated reference, but obscure, as well! But it does.)

-Dan
 
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  • #17,718
topsquark said:
Now you have me thinking about dog fights!

(That's not only a dated reference, but obscure, as well! But it does.)

-Dan
Mine's "dog" eared.
 
  • #17,719
Got a vasectomy today because I didn't want to have kids.
Went home and ..well.. the kids were still there.
 
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  • #17,720
IMG_0638.jpg
 
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  • #17,721
self-driving-car-fire.jpg
 
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  • #17,722
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  • #17,723
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  • #17,724
BillTre said:
"When I was 17 my dad knew nothing. By the time I was 21, it was amazing how much the old man had picked up."
 
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  • #17,725
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  • #17,726
  • #17,728
:biggrin:

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  • #17,729
Autopilot.jpg
 
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  • #17,730
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  • #17,731
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless guy said.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting
in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with
you for doing that?
I said, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what
a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
 
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  • #17,736
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  • #17,737
What's the worst thing about an ancient history class?
The teachers tend to Babylon.
 
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  • #17,738
  • #17,739
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  • #17,740
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  • #17,741
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  • #17,742
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  • #17,743
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  • #17,744
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?....................................... 'Cause the cow's got the udder.

What do you do with an elephant with three balls?..........................Walk him and pitch to the giraffe.

(these are my best ones, though, sorry)
 
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  • #17,745
From Facebook today... :smile:

1703170886156.png
 
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  • #17,746
dextercioby said:
I guess American and British computers must have completely different kinds of chips inside.
 
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  • #17,747
jtbell said:
I guess American and British computers must have completely different kinds of chips inside.
British computers have crisps inside.

Or is it "American computers have fries inside"?
 
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  • #17,748
jtbell said:
I guess American and British computers must have completely different kinds of chips inside.
I keep mine in my shoulder chip or crisp. A giant one. Or so they tell me.
 
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