Collection of Lame Jokes

[jack action]

Mechanic: You need a new transmission.

Client: What's a transmission?

Mechanic: Haha ... did I say one? I meant to say you need two new transmissions.

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 289647

The pink box is Midol. Not a good sign.

 

[WWGD]

The pink box is Midol. Not a good sign.

Your dol(l)? The one you put the pins on? ;).

 

[Ivan Seeking]

True: A father told his 18 yo son that he can either send him off to college, or buy him a backhoe.

That really ticked me off. My father never offered to buy me a hoe. Heck, I couldn't even have girls in my room.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Hornbein]

"How long you been here oldtimer?"

"You see those hills over there son?"

"Ahm...yes."

"They were here when I came."

 

[davenn]

speaking of wives and their anger ...

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 289741

Does it cost extra to order the same truck for your neighbor's pool?

 

[jack action]

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

Spoiler: Answer

I don't know but their flag is a huge plus.

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[nsaspook]

View attachment 289643​

https://meaww.com/nicolas-cage-drun...ed-with-staff-looked-like-homeless-man-549058

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DennisN]

A very funny angry note to a neighbor (in Swedish, but I have translated it to English below):

Translation:

"
Stronger than Thor

When you come home after midnight and when you leave at six in the morning,
you prove your strength and make a Japanese earthquake seem insignificant
in comparison with the shakings you produce.

Thor with his hammer Mjölnir during a berserk suddenly seems like a toddler
with a baby rattle when we are affected by the incredible thunder you make
during your ravages.

I am in one way happy that you let your inner thunder affect your door and
not your dog or your partner, but sadly it affects your neighbors who are
abruptly woke up from their dreams of a peaceful Christmas.

Take it easy. You won't make time anyway to do the things you are about to do.

Greetings from the neighbor on 4th floor
"

 

[jack action]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

John Hinckley Jr was released from all restrictions for shooting President Reagan.

Jodie Foster said she's impressed.

Holy Cow! That was 40 years ago! That isn't funny!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

On a related note, Foster will be appearing in a remake of the movie that made her famous, called Uber Driver.

 

[BillTre]

 

[phinds]

My kind of glasses