Collection of Lame Jokes

[berkeman]

From Facebook today...

 

[Orodruin]

 

[phinds]

 

[berkeman]

 

[BvU]

A striking resemblance ....

Don't see no thumb tacks .... Oh, wait :

$\$

 

[phinds]

A striking resemblance ....

Weeelll ... not really. In the one he posted, they are going to finish putting the plane together with glue and thumb tacks. In the one I posted, they used duct tape, a clearly superior fabrication technique, based on a sound engineering principle **.

** the "duct tape principle" --- if it doesn't move but should, WD40 --- if it moves but shouldn't, duct tape.

 

[difalcojr]

Sound shopworn advice.

In the other case, e.g. that of a stuck throttle, you need a WD-40 squirter just like you say. As in the case of a descending airplane trying to land with a stuck throttle! As in the case of @russ_watters recent experience. And survival, hoorah! And, of course, I read of his hair-raising tale after I had also posted snide comics here on Boeing's blunders with the door plug. My apologies, this was unintended.

@russ_watters, you have nerves of steel to have done that. To overcome what was, I'm sure, a first and very strong, panic feeling. As you described it, you thought correctly and very quickly on exactly what were the correct things to do. And did them all!!!! I applaud your skill and bravery in such danger.

I might look into getting @russ_watters a small statue of Joseph of Cupertino, the patron saint of travelers and pilots. Maybe he could glue it to the dashboard, or keep it in the glovebox. If there is a statue available; he was heavyset.

 

[davenn]

When one door closes, another one opens.
Other than that, it's a pretty good car.

 

[BillTre]

When one door closes, another one opens.
Other than that, it's a pretty good car.

Or airplane!

 

[Baluncore]

How much duct tape does it require, before a high-bypass turbojet, becomes a ducted fan?

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[phinds]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[jbriggs444]

How much duct tape does it require, before a high-bypass turbojet, becomes a ducted fan?

Does double-sided duck tape help prevent bird strikes?

 

[phinds]

Does double-sided duck tape help prevent bird strikes?

No, but it does prevent the ricochets.

 

[256bits]

Does double-sided duck tape help prevent bird strikes?
View attachment 338703

is the single sided duct tape called Klein duct tape?

 

[phinds]

is the single sided duct tape called Klein duct tape?

No, Klein duct tape would be double sided duct tape (or just a plastic strip)

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[berkeman]

Dat's some dark humor there, @WWGD

 

[WWGD]

Dat's some dark humor there, @WWGD

I wash my hands of any such accusations.

 

[phinds]

@WWGD your pics are STILL too dark. Since you are the only one on the forum for whom this happens, it's clearly on your end. Can't you fix it?

 

[Orodruin]

 

[Ibix]

How many of us have just done 17×19 in our heads because of an image macro of a pair of chimps?

 

[Orodruin]

How many of us have just done 17×19 in our heads because of an image macro of a pair of chimps?

For the record, this is how I do it in my head:
17x(20-1) = 340-17 = 323

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

@WWGD your pics are STILL too dark. Since you are the only one on the forum for whom this happens, it's clearly on your end. Can't you fix it?

I tried a few things but couldn't make it work. It's hard to try more since I can't tell the difference myself. Working on it.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

I know cat memes have been kind of overdone, but I still enjoy them

 

[jack action]

Divorce court is like regular court except the judge sentences you to freedom.

 

[berkeman]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

Apologies, I've tried a few things but I still have no idea why my pics appear with this dark , unusual shading. I'll keep looking into it.

 

[DrGreg]

Apologies, I've tried a few things but I still have no idea why my pics appear with this dark , unusual shading. I'll keep looking into it.

The filenames on your pics indicates they are all screenshots taken using Samsung Internet. You could try using a different browser or some other method of capturing images. The best way would be to use the forum's insert image

and paste in the web address of the image file.

 

[nsaspook]

“Damn it, doesn’t anybody on this ship have depth perception?”

 

[topsquark]

View attachment 338742

(KISS KISS!)

-Dan

 

[Swamp Thing]

View attachment 337502

Glad it's born free and not doomed to spend its life in a Faraday cage.

 

[gmax137]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[jbriggs444]

A horse walks into the bar and says to the bartender, "I have a triangle with three sides: x, y and z. Sides x and z are at right angles. Which side is the hypotenuse?"

The bartender pauses for a moment and replies, "y, the long face".

 

[WWGD]

(KISS KISS!)

-Dan

A horse walks into the bar and says to the bartender, "I have a triangle with three sides: x, y and z. Sides x and z are at right angles. Which side is the hypotenuse?"

The bartender pauses for a moment and replies, "y, the long face".

I thought the sums of the squares of the sides equal the square of the hypopothamus.

 

[DennisN]