Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #18,051
WWGD said:
I tried a few things but couldn't make it work. It's hard to try more since I can't tell the difference myself. Working on it.

are you posting your pix from a phone or a PC ?

from a PC it's easy to brighten images ... Irfanview is my fav basic image editor

Dave
 
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  • #18,052
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  • #18,053
davenn said:
Heck, I did that in my hometown during a single storm: rain, heavy rain, sleet, hail, snow flurries, blizzard. All in a 15 minute time span.

-Dan
 
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  • #18,054
topsquark said:
Heck, I did that in my hometown during a single storm: rain, heavy rain, sleet, hail, snow flurries, blizzard. All in a 15 minute time span.

-Dan
And that was just in your back yard.
 
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  • #18,055
davenn said:
are you posting your pix from a phone or a PC ?

from a PC it's easy to brighten images ... Irfanview is my fav basic image editor

Dave
Thanks, I'm taking pics on my phone. I try to download the page containing them but I haven't been able to with my Android.
 
  • #18,056
WWGD said:
Thanks, I'm taking pics on my phone. I try to download the page containing them but I haven't been able to with my Android.

OK, most phones including my android ( Samsung Galaxy fold 4) have photo editing abilities :smile:
 
  • #18,057
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  • #18,058
davenn said:
OK, most phones including my android ( Samsung Galaxy fold 4) have photo editing abilities :smile:
Ok, thanks, I'll look it up.
 
  • #18,059
WWGD said:
Thanks, I'm taking pics on my phone. I try to download the page containing them but I haven't been able to with my Android.

davenn said:
OK, most phones including my android ( Samsung Galaxy fold 4) have photo editing abilities

My favorite photo editor app for Android: Photo Editor by dev.macgyver.

Simple to use, but quite powerful, and also with lots of "single click" effects.
(The free version contains ads)

For simple, overall adjustments, click the "Color" button and then you come to a dialog where you can adjust exposure, brightness, contrast, saturation, temperature, tint and hue.

Here's your photo with an exposure adjustment of "+127" in the Photo Editor app:

Screenshot_20240116_160936_Samsung Internet (1).jpg


Short demo video:
 
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  • #18,060
WWGD said:
Thanks, I'm taking pics on my phone. I try to download the page containing them but I haven't been able to with my Android.
Can you not just long touch the image and select Save image? That's how it works on my 'droid.
 
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  • #18,061
topsquark said:
All in a 15 minute time span.
Florida is smaller than 15 light minutes … 😏
 
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  • #18,062
Ibix said:
Can you not just long touch the image and select Save image? That's how it works on my 'droid.
I'll give it a try. I was able to do it on my previous one.
 
  • #18,063
That may take a while ...

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Why? That's why ...

tumblr_inline_p7l9q0AI7h1qjuf8i_500.jpg
 
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  • #18,064
haha.jpg
 
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  • #18,065
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  • #18,066
Screenshot 2024-01-19 at 7.47.17 AM.png
 
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  • #18,067
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  • #18,068
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  • #18,069
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  • #18,070
1705767372008.png
 
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  • #18,072
If farmers in Idaho were replaced by monkeys would that make them potato chimps?
 
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  • #18,073
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  • #18,074
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  • #18,075
IIRC there have been wood-burning steam locomotives. Would those count as vegan?
 
  • #18,076
Hertz must be diversifying their business model.

I just read an article from Barron's on Apple News which describes the writer's "experience driving a Tesla Model 3 with my wife and cat that we rented from Hertz."
 
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  • #18,077
jtbell said:
IIRC there have been wood-burning steam locomotives. Would those count as vegan?
Then vegan should include all coal-fired boilers, locomotives and power stations.
 
  • #18,078
jtbell said:
IIRC there have been wood-burning steam locomotives. Would those count as vegan?
Gas and Diesel are vegan, too, if you think about it.
 
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  • #18,079
fresh_42 said:
Gas and Diesel are vegan, too, if you think about it.
Depends what you consider a plant.
Aren't oil deposits from marine phytoplankton. Although they have chloroplasts, I don't think they are plants.
 
  • #18,080
What kind of socks do Scottish pirates wear?

Arrrhgyle!
 
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  • #18,081
BillTre said:
Depends what you consider a plant.
Aren't oil deposits from marine phytoplankton. Although they have chloroplasts, I don't think they are plants.
Phyto means plant IIRC. However, let me tell you a story about what can be called vegan.

I once saw the label "vegan" on my local, favorite brand of apple juice! I couldn't believe it. What else than vegan could apple juice be? So I decided to send them an email, asking, how in the world they could guarantee the absence of worms. (I know they are maggots, but we say worms here.) They responded and told me that their product is vegan because they do not use e.g. gelatine in the production process. Considering the maggots, they said, that these are inevitable to a small amount and that the apple juice is still vegan according to law.

So whatever fauna ended up as oil, consider it the maggots of apple juice.
 
  • #18,082
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  • #18,083
fresh_42 said:
Phyto means plant IIRC. However, let me tell you a story about what can be called vegan.
The derivation of the prefix syllable does not determine how an organism is classified scientifically.
May work for colloquial or ancient conversations, but not accurate.
Would be evolutionarially misleading.

Not plants:
algae
floating single cells that can photosynthesize (both eukaryotic (algae) and prokaryotic (including cyanobacteria (from which chloroplasts are thought to have been derived))).
 
  • #18,084
BillTre said:
The derivation of the prefix syllable does not determine how an organism is classified scientifically.
May work for colloquial or ancient conversations, but not accurate.
Would be evolutionarially misleading.

Not plants:
algae
floating single cells that can photosynthesize (both eukaryotic (algae) and prokaryotic (including cyanobacteria (from which chloroplasts are thought to have been derived))).
Good for Sheldon.
 
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  • #18,085
"What do you want to eat?"
"Pregnant stamps."
"What?"
"The pasta that looks like it."
"Ravioli?"
"Yes."
 
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  • #18,086
"How old would you guess I am?"
"22 by your eyes, 19 by your smile, and 21 by your laughter!"
"Oh, thanks!"
"Wait, let me add."
 
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  • #18,087
At the farewell do, on the retirement of Dr. Smith.
Bruno asks Alan; "Is Dr. Smith married"?
Alan replies; "No, I don't think he is".
Bruno says; "That is lucky for his wife, isn't it".
 
  • #18,088
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  • #18,089
Screenshot 2024-01-23 at 7.57.15 AM.png
 
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  • #18,090
Screenshot_20240123_171120_Samsung Internet.jpg
 
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  • #18,091
Screenshot_20240123_163352_Samsung Internet.jpg
 
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  • #18,092
Screenshot_20240123_163107_Samsung Internet.jpg
 
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  • #18,093
traveling-jokes.jpg
 
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  • #18,094
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  • #18,095
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  • #18,096
Screenshot 2024-01-24 at 8.43.32 AM.png
 
  • #18,098
Screenshot_20240123_153034_Samsung Internet.jpg
 
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  • #18,099
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  • #18,100
An English teacher becomes a pirate captain...

Yeoman: The cannons be ready, cap'n!
Captain: Arrre!
 
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