Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #11,101
What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?

Unlawful is against the law, and illegal is a sick bird.
 
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  • #11,102
jrmichler said:
What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?

Unlawful is against the law, and illegal is a sick bird.
I thought the first one was a radio with broken volume control: un-low-full.

... I'm already out of sight ... can't catch me ...
 
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  • #11,103

Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for November 05, 2021

9994e030182c013a8133005056a9545d.gif
 
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  • #11,104
_nc_ohc=Z29fDNno6ZMAX9IxF9a&_nc_ht=scontent-dus1-1.jpg
 
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  • #11,105
A nitrogen atom sits down and a bar. The bartender asks,, "why so blue"? To which the nitrogen atom response, "I think I've lost an electron".

"Are you sure"?
"I'm positive".
 
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  • #11,106
car.jpg
 
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  • #11,108
1636227775442.png
 
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  • #11,109
main-qimg-2e17724888b6d2bfbacd15ccc5c084e3-lq.jpeg
 
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  • #11,110
We had Rock on a Croc
main-qimg-ab40fd9f6ca581990db121b1f82cb910-lq.jpeg


Now we have Rock out of Broc
 

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  • #11,111
Just wanted to have post # 11111. Meet you at # 22222 around 2037. ( Web will collapse in 2038).
 
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  • #11,112
Gads, this HAS been a popular thread.
 
  • #11,113
WWGD said:
( Web will collapse in 2038)
Apophis is 2029. What will be in 2038?
 
  • #11,114
fresh_42 said:
Apophis is 2029. What will be in 2038?
Try Googling 2038
 
  • #11,115
phinds said:
Try Googling 2038
Disappointing. I had expected at least something like a 2012 Maya equivalent, not only some nerd computers.
 
  • #11,116
fresh_42 said:
Apophis is 2029. What will be in 2038?
Will run out of space for 32-bit storage of universal/Unix time: Number of seconds since January 1, 1970. After switching to 64-bit storage, problem will be shifted to January 2106.
 
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  • #11,117
I had misunderstood 'Apophis' to mean " At The Office" when I first heard about it.
 
  • #11,118
WWGD said:
Will run out of space for 32-bit storage of universal/Unix time: Number of seconds since January 1, 1970. After switching to 64-bit storage, problem will be shifted to January 2106.
Is that correct? It's not adding 68 years, it's adding like 4 billion years.
 
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  • #11,119
valenumr said:
Is that correct? It's not adding 68 years, it's adding like 4 billion years.
My rule of thumb/ back of envelope is: ##2^{32}=4294967296##. Then we divide by 2 to get ##\pm 2147483648##. There are ##31557600## minutes in a year. The quotient ##2147483648/31557600## is around 68.
Edit: I may be mixing minutes with seconds.
 
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  • #11,120
WWGD said:
My rule of thumb/ back of envelope is: #2^{32}=4294967296#. Then we divide by 2 to get #\pm 2147483648#. There are #31557600# minutes in a year. The quotient #2147483648/31557600# is around 68.
Yes, but 2^64 is 2^32 * 2^32, not 2^32 + 2^32.
 
  • #11,121
valenumr said:
Yes, but 2^64 is 2^32 * 2^32, not 2^32 + 2^32.
Yes, you're right; I read it and didn't double check. I think it is Edit:##18446744073709551616##. But I don't have a Real calculator with me and it's hard to go back-forth in an Android.
 
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  • #11,122
WWGD said:
Yes, you're right; I read it and didn't double check. I think it is #18446744073509616#. But I don't have a Real calculator with me and it's hard to go back-forth in an Android.
Yeah, approximating 68 as 2^6, it should be roughly 2^38 years.
 
  • #11,123
Just keep watching mice and dolphins.
 
  • #11,124
fresh_42 said:
Just keep watching mice and dolphins.
And men?
 
  • #11,125
WWGD said:
And men?
No. Maybe with the exception of Slartibartfast.
 
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  • #11,126
fresh_42 said:
No. Maybe with the exception of Slartibartfast.
\Whoosh to me. I was just referring to " Of mice and men".
 
  • #11,127
fresh_42 said:
No. Maybe with the exception of Slartibartfast.
Guess I'm one of the few here not a fan of LOTR.
 
  • #11,128
Unless the improbability drive has been operating, Tolkien did not write the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
In the Hitchhikers Guide, the Earth turns out to be a gigantic supercomputer that has been tasked with determining the ultimate question. The answer having been previously determined to be "42".

The construction of Earth was undertaken by Slartibartfast who was commissioned by hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings whose extrusions into our world are seen as mice.

When Slartibartfast ends a phrase with "of mice..." and Arthur Dent tries to complete it with "and men", Slartibartfast looks at him oddly.
 
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  • #11,129
When a programmer writes a song:

hey-jude.jpg
 
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  • #11,130
jbriggs444 said:
Unless the improbability drive has been operating, Tolkien did not write the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
In the Hitchhikers Guide, the Earth turns out to be a gigantic supercomputer that has been tasked with determining the ultimate question. The answer having been previously determined to be "42".

The construction of Earth was undertaken by Slartibartfast who was commissioned by hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings whose extrusions into our world are seen as mice.

When Slartibartfast ends a phrase with "of mice..." and Arthur Dent tries to complete it with "and men", Slartibartfast looks at him oddly.
Ok, not a sci fi fan; can't really tell them appart.
 

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