Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date Start date
  • Tags Tags
    Jokes
Join the discussion
Registration is free. Ask a follow-up in this thread, or start your own.
24,333 replies · 3M views
WWGD said:
Ok, not a sci fi fan; can't really tell them appart.
You missed something. You would love Douglas Adams! Full of absurdities, language humor, and a manic depressive robot hero "with a brain of the size of a planet" who has to "escort the prisoners". But the best part is the absurdities.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Likes   Reactions: collinsmark and DennisN
Physics news on Phys.org
fresh_42 said:
You missed something. You would love Douglas Adams! Full of absurdities, language humor, and a manic depressive robot hero "with a brain of the size of a planet" who has to "escort the prisoners". But the best part is the absurdities.
It's kind of weird. At some point I decided I didn't like it, despite never having read a single book nor even watching a single sci-fi tv show.
 
WWGD said:
It's kind of weird. At some point I decided I didn't like it, despite never having read a single book nor even watching a single sci-fi tv show.
Have a read:
This planet [earth] has, or had, a problem, which was this. Most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small, green pieces of paper, which is odd, because on the whole, it wasn't the small, green pieces of paper which were unhappy. And so the problem remained, and lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches. Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake coming down from the trees in the first place, and some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no-one should ever have left the oceans.
Genious!
 
  • Like
  • Love
Likes   Reactions: DrClaude, DennisN, Jarvis323 and 1 other person
main-qimg-ccd99241daefc133aa7ff45e728daafc-lq.jpeg
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes   Reactions: Wrichik Basu, david2, Borg and 1 other person
Potentially.
I wonder what the charge would be.
 
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: Klystron, jack action, Wrichik Basu and 2 others
Dunno, not my field.
 
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: jack action, Wrichik Basu, Bystander and 1 other person
jack action said:
Do you need a current license to drive an electric vehicle?
And will it be called a resistance if you're pulled over?
"Your current license and fuse papers, please!"
 
fresh_42 said:
And will it be called a resistance if you're pulled over?
"Your current license and fuse papers, please!"
Ohm my, Resistance?
 
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: BillTre and Bystander
The number of electric puns in this thread is shocking.
 
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: jack action, BillTre and Wrichik Basu
fresh_42 said:
Say Watt?
Reminds me of the 5 journalists: Watt, Wei, Weir , Wen and Hu.
 
fresh_42 said:
Say Watt?
I actually got away with this in high school physics class. It went something like this:

Teacher: Jim, what's the unit of electrical power?
Me (apparently asleep, head down on desk, without moving): The watt? I tried to make it come out between watt and what.
Teacher: Right, the watt.
Entire class heard "what", understood watt, and started laughing.
Teacher (confused): That was the right answer.

I got away with it because this happened after a friend and I had stacked all of the signal generators and oscilloscopes into a big pyramid, connected them, and got a different Lissajous pattern on each scope. We were busy trying to get all of the patterns rotating in the same direction, when the principal walked in, watched us for a little while, said "gosh, that looks very technical", walked over, and congratulated the teacher on doing a good job.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes   Reactions: Klystron, phinds, BillTre and 1 other person
jrmichler said:
I actually got away with this in high school physics class. It went something like this:

Teacher: Jim, what's the unit of electrical power?
Me (apparently asleep, head down on desk, without moving): The watt? I tried to make it come out between watt and what.
Teacher: Right, the watt.
Entire class heard "what", understood watt, and started laughing.
Teacher (confused): That was the right answer.

I got away with it because this happened after a friend and I had stacked all of the signal generators and oscilloscopes into a big pyramid, connected them, and got a different Lissajous pattern on each scope. We were busy trying to get all of the patterns rotating in the same direction, when the principal walked in, watched us for a little while, said "gosh, that looks very technical", walked over, and congratulated the teacher on doing a good job.
I believe Hu was teaching the class after that one.
 
WWGD said:
A Faraday keeps the electrician away.
Better so. My electrician friend blew the power of an ice factory. Now, it's in liquidation.
 
fresh_42 said:
Better so. My electrician friend blew the power of an ice factory. Now, it's in liquidation.
Ice, Ice baby no more!
 
WWGD said:
Ice, Ice baby no more!
My association chains are strange. It wasn't 'Ice, Ice baby' but 'No more' (Elvis). It took me quite a while to figure out which song the original was.
 
Maybe someone already posted this?
main-qimg-d66da1678c3b157d924b6c3cd8025cb4-lq.jpeg
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes   Reactions: nuuskur, BillTre, DennisN and 1 other person
fresh_42 said:
Electricity seems to be a European project:
Help, the countries are multiplying again!

F = C / V
England = France / Italy

Ohm = V / A
Germany = Italy / France = 1 / England

Germany is the inverse of England. As we know from football already.
 
mfb said:
Help, the countries are multiplying again!
I thought the EU's goal was to avoid division ;).
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes   Reactions: Klystron, nuuskur and BillTre
fresh_42 said:
You missed something. You would love Douglas Adams! Full of absurdities, language humor, and a manic depressive robot hero "with a brain of the size of a planet" who has to "escort the prisoners". But the best part is the absurdities.
One of my favorite absurdities is the SEP field, which is a cloaking device:
Douglas Adams said:
An SEP is something we can't see, or don't see, or our brain doesn't let us see, because we think that it's somebody else's problem. That’s what SEP means. Somebody Else’s Problem. The brain just edits it out, it's like a blind spot.
Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somebody_else's_problem
 
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: fresh_42 and Filip Larsen