Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

Why do I all of a sudden have to think about ...

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[berkeman]

LOL. "Well, which is it young feller?"

Quiz Question -- Which movie is that from?

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[berkeman]

View attachment 296395

Right movie, different scene/actors.

 

[berkeman]

View attachment 296395

"We're using code names now!"

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 296393
View attachment 296394

Guess their clothes will be clean once they get through. Didn't Custer fight the Little Big Horn battle. With the little big washing machines?

 

[Baluncore]

Which reminded me of the group Three Dog Night. An average night is 12 hours, so each dog must make 4 hours. At sea, each watch is 4 hours, with the exception of the two dog watches, that are 2 hours each. The dog watch is so-named because it is "cur-tailed" i.e. shortened.

 

[sandy stone]

I learned CSNY is Crosby , Stills, Nash and Young. It seems like the name of
another cop show based in NY. And it linked to "Our House", which I thought was by Flo' Rida. And it contains
false information, like there's 2 dogs in a yard. A yard is a unit of length.

Not to derail a fascinating discussion, but wasn't the original lyric "two cats in the yard"?

 

[jack action]

They should announce a sequel to Groundhog Day and then just re-release the original.

 

[WWGD]

Not to derail a fascinating discussion, but wasn't the original lyric "two cats in the yard"?

Then again, this is my house:

Neither cats nor dogs in the yard. Only dogs if we bring out the George Foreman grill.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

Then again, this is my house:
View attachment 296433

Neither cats nor dogs in the yard. Only digs if we bring out the George Foreman grill.

Another related issue is that it is at least close in name to the Danish city Aarhus. Maybe @fresh_42 knows something about his northern neighbor?

 

[fresh_42]

Another related issue is that it is at least close in name to the Danish city Aarhus. Maybe @fresh_42 knows something about his northern neighbor?

Not even close: Aarhus or Århus ([ˈå·ˌhu’s] or [ˈɒːhuːˀs]).

 

[WWGD]

Not even close: Aarhus or Århus ([ˈå·ˌhu’s] or [ˈɒːhuːˀs]).

Too bad, Flo' Rida won't get to have the " Welcome to Aarhus"!, or ar least few will make the connection.

 

[gmax137]

synonyms for feet​

• dogs
• ...
• ...
• ...

So then there are three dogs in a yard?

EDIT: how many times have you replied to a post that's like two pages old without realizing it?

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[nuuskur]

 

[jack action]

2019: Avoid negative people.
2020: Avoid positive people.
2021: Avoid people.
2022: A void.

 

[fresh_42]

This ... goal gets better and better with every new camera angle:

 

[WWGD]

 

[Borg]

Yeah. Where's that guys' hat?

 

[Arjan82]

Crazy fashion is of all times...:
1960(?):

1900:

around 1600:

 

[DennisN]

A Strange Sound

A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery.
He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you
think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man
tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t
tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man’s car breaks down in front of the same monastery.

The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same
strange noise that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you.
You’re not a monk.”

The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can
find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?”

The monks reply, “You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of
grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these
numbers, you will become a monk.”

The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on
the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the Earth and have found
what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and
231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.”

The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you
the way to the sound.”

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound
is right behind that door.”

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May
I have the key?”

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.
Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.

The man demands the key to the stone door.
The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.

He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.
Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire.

So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and
amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.”

The man is relieved to no end.
He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find
the source of that strange sound.

But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

 

[Bandersnatch]

View attachment 296533

Give the guy a break. He just lived through a world war.

 

[Keith_McClary]

Yeah. Where's that guys' hat?

Meet the new generation of milliners making hats cool again​

Many images.

 

[BillTre]

Meet the new generation of milliners making hats cool again​

Many images.

Many hats for dsiplay rather than hats for function there.

 

[Keith_McClary]

Big noisy protest at Canadian Parliament

(pareidolia)

 

[WWGD]