Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date Start date
  • Tags Tags
    Jokes
Click For Summary
The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #1,171
A guy was driving on the interstate and got into a wreck.

He wasn't in a good situation.

His body was arranged in all the wrong ways, his feet were where his nose was supposed to be and his ears were where his arms were supposed to be...

The medics came, and the guy was mad. As they got him out he started swearing at them.

A passerby came up and said, "Well now, don't get all bent out of shape!"
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #1,172
DaveC426913 said:
nis: this is a G-rated board.

I've asked for your post to be cleaned up.

I apologize, I didn't realize that it was so... racey. I had assumed that to get that end of the joke, you'd require knowledge of the "issues" to begin with... you know, like the obscene frames in Disney movies.
 
  • #1,173
PF



Powerfully Factual

Potentially Fatal

Parrot Freedom

Place of Friends

[All] Purpose Flour

Prefered [Reference] Frame

Petroleum Flame
 
  • #1,174
FtlIsAwesome said:
PF



Powerfully Factual

Potentially Fatal

Parrot Freedom

Place of Friends

[All] Purpose Flour

Prefered [Reference] Frame

Petroleum Flame

Perfect Fart
Prolific Flatulance!
Possibly Funny?
 
  • #1,175
Do you people use spelchequers? Eye dew.
 
  • #1,176
Lancelot59 said:
Possibly Funny?
Problematically Funny
Potentially Funny
Painfully Funny
Powerfully Funny
Pressured to be Funny


I think I'm repeating myself here... :rolleyes:
 
  • #1,177
Power Flower! :rolleyes:
Poker Face





Pilot: Hey, we're out of gas. You said we had gas!
Captain: And I did. But I'm feeling much better now.
Pilot: I meant rocket fuel!





Guy 1: [holding up check] Look at all those zero's!
Guy 2: We're rich!
Guy 1: It's in the millions!
Guy 2: Tens of millions!
Guy 1: We're super uber rich!
[the check says $00,000,000]
 
  • #1,178
Exercise? Yeah, I do that.

I do one push-up a day.
I get up in the morning that's one half.
I lay down at night that's the other half.
 
  • #1,179
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Nismar
Oh.
Can I come in?
Yeah, one sec, I just have to undo the latch.
Hey buddy!
Hey man!
 
  • #1,180
My wifes gone to the Carribean.
Jamaica?
No, she went of her own accord.
 
  • #1,181
A construction zombie?

" Crrrraaaaannnneeeeessss "
 
  • #1,182
cobalt124 said:
My wifes gone to the Carribean.
Jamaica?
No, she went of her own accord.

Ooooohhh... STINKER.

@Fit: Heh.


"A cat for a hat, a hat for a cat, but nothing for nothing."

Who the hell is trading cats for hats, and visa versa? I think forced rhymes are a bad joke, but I do love that saying...

edit:

An Architect Zombie:

Frrrraaaaammmmmeeeesssss

IRS Zombie:

Capital GGGAAAAAIIIIIINNNNSSSS
 
  • #1,183
nismaratwork said:
I think forced rhymes are a bad joke
Good types of jokes,
Bad types of jokes,
They all belong in lame jokes.


nismaratwork said:
An Architect Zombie:

Frrrraaaaammmmmeeeesssss

IRS Zombie:

Capital GGGAAAAAIIIIIINNNNSSSS
Basically, we've been recycling the same ones:
nismaratwork said:
A physicist zombie studying Relativity?

"Frrrraaaaammmeesssss"
FtlIsAwesome said:
A photographist zombie?

" Frrrraaaaaaammmmmeeeesssssss "
The above is the 1000th post. :biggrin:
nismaratwork said:
Zombie Origami artist?

"Crrrrraaaaannnneeesss"
FtlIsAwesome said:
Or a constuction zombie.
FtlIsAwesome said:
A capitalist zombie?

" Gaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnnnnnnnsssss "
This one is my favorite.
 
  • #1,184
Heh... yeah the subconscious "inspirations" do tend to be plagueristic... ah well.

Hamlet Zombie: Daaaaaaannnnnneeeeessss
 
  • #1,185
Ok, I've been wondering about this for weeks.
Unfortunately, posting it will result in my death.
What would happen if someone called you Miss Mara T. Work?
*runrunrunrunruns*
 
  • #1,186
FtlIsAwesome said:
Ok, I've been wondering about this for weeks.
Unfortunately, posting it will result in my death.
What would happen if someone called you Miss Mara T. Work?
*runrunrunrunruns*

I'd be so confused, and probably mention a female bodybuilder (former) I know named Mara. Beyond that, I'd be... at a loss. :-p
 
  • #1,187
nismaratwork said:
An Architect Zombie:

Frrrraaaaammmmmeeeesssss

:smile: it never gets old lol
 
  • #1,188
A superstar zombie?

" Faaaaaammmmmeeeee "

An ID checker zombie?

" Naaaaammmmmmeeee "
 
  • #1,189
FtlIsAwesome said:
An ID checker zombie?

" Naaaaammmmmmeeee "

:smile: OMG now i know how Devil'savocado felt about the food thread lol
 
  • #1,190
HeLiXe said:
:smile: OMG now i know how Devil'savocado felt about the food thread lol

Hmmm... take some DA, place in blender, add freshly squeezed lime juice, cilantro, zest of lemon and lime, a bit of honey, and a pound of prussic acid. That's right about where I am with cooking that brand of Avocado... that, or fried. :devil:

Of course, that would require him showing his face here again, which may qualify as a lame joke in and of itself.


Zombie Carny Barker:

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmeeessss!"

Zombie Pimp:

"Where's my money ho?!"


...
...
...
Hey, this is LAME jokes.
 
  • #1,191
nismaratwork said:
Hmmm... take some DA, place in blender, add freshly squeezed lime juice, cilantro, zest of lemon and lime, a bit of honey, and a pound of prussic acid. That's right about where I am with cooking that brand of Avocado... that, or fried. :devil:

Hooooly @#%^ LOLOLOLOL
 
  • #1,192
HeLiXe said:
Hooooly @#%^ LOLOLOLOL

You don't like guacamole a la citrus/cyanide?! The trick is to use a variety of corn chips...
 
  • #1,193
Use camphor in a sentence.

We went to camphor a week.
 
  • #1,195
cobalt124 said:
Use judicious in a sentence.

Now hands that judicious feel as soft as your face, with mild green Fairy Liquid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mMmQsHgpjw&feature=related

:smile: I was about to complain that I had no idea what you're talking about. Even the video didn't help - until the last ten seconds.
 
  • #1,196
nismaratwork said:
You don't like guacamole a la citrus/cyanide?! The trick is to use a variety of corn chips...
lolol poor DA
 
  • #1,197
HeLiXe said:
lolol poor DA

He'll live, but shame and publicly embarrassing yourself can take some time to cope with. :wink:

Camphor the burgers, stay for the pie.
 
  • #1,198
is that why he left? He better get over it and come back :biggrin: embarrassing myself is so much a part of my life I've lost my sense of shame...and some think that is a bad thing
 
  • #1,200
HeLiXe said:
is that why he left? He better get over it and come back :biggrin: embarrassing myself is so much a part of my life I've lost my sense of shame...and some think that is a bad thing

Agreed, it's just a learning experience! You just have to be camphortable with yourself, and understand that mistaks and assumptions can bite you. Still, through judicous application of shame (and camphor) the lesson is learned, and we hope not repeated.


Camphor.

... mothballs.

Do moths have balls?
 

Similar threads

Programming Jokes: Lame, Science & Math Jokes!
  • · Replies 459 ·
16
Replies
459
Views
33K
Reflecting on 47: An SMBC Comic
  • · Replies 57 ·
2
Replies
57
Views
8K
Constructing a meme - an exercise
  • · Replies 3 ·
Replies
3
Views
234
Bad Math Jokes
  • · Replies 402 ·
14
Replies
402
Views
39K
Weird / Interesing science related objects
  • · Replies 7 ·
Replies
7
Views
3K
What does it tell if you can (or can't) get this joke?
  • · Replies 15 ·
Replies
15
Views
5K
What Are Your Favorite Physics Jokes?
  • · Replies 1 ·
Replies
1
Views
3K
Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! - My Favorite Book
  • · Replies 21 ·
Replies
21
Views
3K
Mini road trip: tigers and goats and bears, oh my
  • · Replies 5 ·
Replies
5
Views
2K
That Will Smith and Chris Rock thing
  • · Replies 185 ·
7
Replies
185
Views
10K