Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

Ukrainians patriotically repulsing Russia on the humor front:

 

[jtbell]

It appears the international media completely misunderstood Putin. They thought he said he was sending peacekeepers to Ukraine. He really said he was sending piecekeepers to Ukraine. They'll keep this piece of Ukraine, they'll keep that piece...

 

[ergospherical]

 

[sysprog]

I didn't know what to make of this, so I looked up the player names, and found this:
https://punditarena.com/rugby/thepa...us-story-about-jonah-lomu-sums-up-the-legend/

 

[jack action]

My grandfather was responsible for 35 downed German planes in WW2.

Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Keith_McClary]

https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/hoax-3

 

[jtbell]

One way to determine whether you're sufficiently hydrated (i.e. drinking enough water) is to monitor how often you pee.

It can be a nuisance to keep track of this, but urine luck! There's an app for that!

https://www.the-sun.com/tech/4754169/who-developed-pee-and-see-app/

(The app's developer, John Ganiotis, appeared on the TV game show To Tell the Truth, which I happened to watch tonight.)

 

[berkeman]

One way to determine whether you're sufficiently hydrated (i.e. drinking enough water) is to monitor how often you pee.

It can be a nuisance to keep track of this, but urine luck! There's an app for that!

https://www.the-sun.com/tech/4754169/who-developed-pee-and-see-app/

But does it have an alarm feature for detecting hyponatremia?

 

[Charles Kuester]

He is a comedian and when at his best he was hilarious! The smashing business was just the finale to his show.

My favorite of his: "I went to see a Doctor to see if he could do anything about my baldness. He said the problem was in my genes. I told him he was crazy I got plenty of hair there. Where I need it is on my head!"

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

import time, datetime

def get_tomorrows_date():
    time.sleep(60*60*24)
    return datetime.date.today()

print(get_tomorrows_date())

 

[DrGreg]

import time, datetime

def get_tomorrows_date():
    time.sleep(60*60*24)
    return datetime.date.today()

print(get_tomorrows_date())

That gets the right answer to the original question, but a day too late.

 

[WWGD]

 

[phinds]

?

 

[berkeman]

?

It's a dumb joke, just let it go by...

 

[phinds]

It's a dumb joke, just let it go by...

I don't mind dumb jokes, I just don't like ones that don't seem to actually BE jokes (presumably because I don't get it)

 

[berkeman]

I don't mind dumb jokes, I just don't like ones that don't seem to actually BE jokes (presumably because I don't get it)

Deliver a baby -- standard.

De-liver a baby -- gross.

Have a nice day

 

[strangerep]

"I went to see a Doctor to see if he could do anything about my baldness. He said the problem was in my genes. I told him he was crazy I got plenty of hair there. Where I need it is on my head!"

Oh, and did you hear about the magician who couldn't pull a rabbit out of his hat? So he pulled a hair out of his bum instead.

 

[Ibix]

import time, datetime

def get_tomorrows_date():
    time.sleep(60*60*24)
    return datetime.date.today()

print(get_tomorrows_date())

You could improve efficiency by calculating the remaining time until midnight and only sleeping that long.

 

[fresh_42]

It's a dumb joke, just let it go by...

And it is a repetition.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Keith_McClary]

Tycoons bound for ISS aren't tourists, insists space company​

If they were tourists, they could not deduct it as a business expense, like all the other space tourists do.

 

[WWGD]

And it is a repetition.

See #12030 https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/collection-of-lame-jokes.25301/page-401
and #12056.

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]