Collection of Lame Jokes

[DennisN]

@pinball1970 :

 

[pinball1970]

Oldham

Peckham

 

[jtbell]

@pinball1970 :

View attachment 353540

Also
Northam, Australia
Southam , UK

and the well-larded Hamptons in New York.

 

[phinds]

And, to sum it up:

 

[Borg]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[jrmichler]

Does this excerpt from my credit card bill that arrived today count as a lame joke, or normal computerized stupidity? I'm tempted to send them a check for $0.00 just to see what happens.

 

[gmax137]

I'm tempted to send them a check for $0.00 just to see what happens

Worth the 73¢ stamp.

 

[berkeman]

I'm tempted to send them a check for $0.00 just to see what happens.

Do you have an online account that you can pay from instead of sending in a check? It would be interesting if it would process a $0.00 electronic payment...

 

[jtbell]

Such as these guys?

 

[nuuskur]

Does this excerpt from my credit card bill that arrived today count as a lame joke, or normal computerized stupidity? I'm tempted to send them a check for $0.00 just to see what happens. View attachment 353600

what in the 20th century ? You get this stuff in the mail?

 

[dwarde]

what in the 20th century ? You get this stuff in the mail?

What century is it anyway?

 

[dwarde]

Road sign in Florida.

 

[jtbell]

Those gators can read, too!

 

[berkeman]

 

[gmax137]

Those gators can read, too!

They're the ones who put up the sign!

 

[Ibix]

They're the ones who put up the sign!

And they drive the cars.

 

[Orodruin]

They're the ones who put up the sign!

… and the ones driving the vehicles…

 

[WWGD]

Freudian Slip?
Dr Jack Kevorkian put out a record of his piano plays. "Kevorkian: Unplugged".

 

[DennisN]

 

[DrGreg]

… and the ones driving the vehicles…

I'm not sure I believe all these alligations.

 

[WWGD]

Do they have organ banks in the UK?
I know they have a Liverpool.

 

[DrGreg]

Do they have organ banks in the UK?
I know they have a Liverpool.

Hartlepool
Braintree
St Pancras Station

Historically, the UK had colonies.

 

[DrGreg]

Do they have organ banks in the UK?
I know they have a Liverpool.

Man phones a pizza restaurant and asks "Do you deliver?"

"No, we do pepperoni, we do Hawaiian, we do Four Seasons, but we don't do liver."

Based on a Peter Kay joke.

 

[gmax137]

I'm not sure I believe all these alligations.

There was a politician back in the 80s or 90s who responded to critics with, "I deny the allegations and cast aspersions on the alligators."

I can't seem to find it anywhere now.

 

[WWGD]

There was a politician back in the 80s or 90s who responded to critics with, "I deny the allegations and cast aspersions on the alligators."

I can't seem to find it anywhere now.

How about in river banks, canals? Be careful when/if you do. ;).

 

[WWGD]

Hartlepool
Braintree
St Pancras Station

Historically, the UK had colonies.

And the French now have colognes. Including Toilet Water ( Eau de Toilette).

 

[jtbell]

Not in the UK, but there's Colon, Panama.

 

[WWGD]

Tea(neck), NJ? Ply(mouth)?

 

[jtbell]

The latest scent-sation?

 

[sandy stone]

There was a politician back in the 80s or 90s who responded to critics with, "I deny the allegations and cast aspersions on the alligators."

I can't seem to find it anywhere now.

I believe you are referring to the inimitable Algonquin J. Calhoun, a lawyer on the "Amos n' Andy Show". I think the original quote was, "Your honor, not only does I resent the allegation, but I resents the alligator".

 

[jtbell]

 

[phinds]

I believe you are referring to the inimitable Algonquin J. Calhoun, a lawyer on the "Amos n' Andy Show". I think the original quote was, "Your honor, not only does I resent the allegation, but I resents the alligator".

Close.

 

[dwarde]

 

[WWGD]

My uncle, at 80 years of age, still has amazing insights into people's personality. He's Jung at heart.

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh.

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 353719

And for dessert, crunchy frogs.

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

I found this dog that has no nose.
How does he smell?
Awful.

 

[berkeman]

I've actually had several runners at events with this issue...

 

[Orodruin]

Many people don’t know what ”prefix” means, but it is not the end of the word.

 

[WWGD]

Many people don’t know what ”prefix” means, but it is not the end of the word.

Ive seen it used by restaurants and cafes: prefix lunch/dinner, rather than, IIRC, prix fixe.

 

[dwarde]

 

[jtbell]

Ive seen [prefix] used by restaurants and cafes: prefix lunch/dinner, rather than, IIRC, prix fixe.

That must make dessert a suffix.

 

[sysprog1]

zoology/taxonomy quiz Q&A
Q: What is a difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
A: The alligator will see you later, but the crocodile, you'll see in a while.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[BillTre]