Collection of Lame Jokes

[Ibix]

View attachment 352891

Brian: You're all individuals!
Crowd, in chorus: Yes, we're all individuals!
Brian: You're all different!
Crowd, in chorus: Yes, we're all different!
One guy at the back: I'm not.
- Monty Python

 

[Orodruin]

Brian: You're all individuals!
Crowd, in chorus: Yes, we're all individuals!
Brian: You're all different!
Crowd, in chorus: Yes, we're all different!
One guy at the back: I'm not.
- Monty Python

 

[WWGD]

 

[dwarde]

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 352812

Just be careful which one you grab when you're hungry.

 

[davenn]

 

[jtbell]

Today's the day! Grab a hot dog, dig out its innards, fill it with scotch, and have a happy hollow weenie!

 

[phinds]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[dextercioby]

I hope this one's allowed.

 

[Orodruin]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 352869

And combine it with a TV mounted on top of another TV that is not working.

 

[davenn]

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 352947

I've read that in this case it's "dwarfs", not "dwarves."

 

[WWGD]

New excuse

Just be careful which one you grab when you're hungry.

Thanks; not what I meant when I said " I like dogs" ;).

 

[nsaspook]

 

[jtbell]

If bagpipes could fly, they'd be Canada geese.

 

[BillTre]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 352986

How about those guys who always carry a battery pack around...

"Charge your phone, baby?"

 

[Orodruin]

It is funny because this was me a couple of hours ago.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[phinds]

Alien monkeys

That, as it turns out, are dog noses

 

[nsaspook]

 

[nsaspook]

When Humans Say Hold My Beer The Galaxy Now Automatically Raises Threat Level To Maximum​

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 353035

"now the tubes have no glass but may still work"

Do they still have the original vacuum?

 

[topsquark]

View attachment 353002
It is funny because this was me a couple of hours ago.

The adult or the kid?

-Dan

 

[Orodruin]

The adult or the kid?

-Dan

Yes.

 

[jtbell]

What is your dog doing when it stops at every tree, fireplug, etc.?

Checking its peemail!

 

[dwarde]

 

[topsquark]

View attachment 353070

I think you've got a handle on it.

-Dan

 

[nsaspook]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 353082

%$#@! I was about to go to sleep, but now I have to compute the expression!! ;).

 

[jtbell]

With me, it was just $$z^{z^{z^{z \cdots}}}$$

 

[WWGD]

New Kenyan actor to star in next Star Wars film. Obi Wan Nairobi.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[berkeman]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[jtbell]

Where do polar bears go to vote? (along with Santa, his elves and reindeer...)

The North Poll.

 

[gmax137]

 

[BillTre]